[SpongeBob and Patrick are watching jellyfish]

Patrick: [whispering] You see him?

SpongeBob: Nope. [looks through binoculars] Oh, wait, now I do.

Patrick: [whispering] What's he doing?

SpongeBob: Um, just kinda sitting there.

Patrick: How about now?

SpongeBob: Still just like kinda sitting there, same thing.

Patrick: How long have we been watching?

SpongeBob: What time is it now?

Patrick: 2:30.

SpongeBob: [counts fingers] 4 days.

[Jellyfish run away]

SpongeBob: Patrick, it's moving!

Patrick: Ready to go for it?

SpongeBob: Like Mr. Krabs says, it's now or never!

Patrick: When does he say that?

SpongeBob: Usually on his way to the Men's room. Bunsai!

Patrick: Hey, that's usually what I say!

[SpongeBob and Patrick begin chasing the jellyfish]

SpongeBob: Patrick, he's taking evasive action.

Patrick: We better fake him.

SpongeBob: I'll fake left, you go right!

Patrick: Roger that! [runs left]

SpongeBob: Other right, Patrick!

SpongeBob and Patrick: [in slow motion] [jumping to catch the jellyfish] [the two collide in mid-air]

SpongeBob: Ow, I think I ruptured a spleen...

Patrick: I think I shattered my abacus.

SpongeBob: Your what?

Patrick: My abacus. [Takes out his abacus] Nope. Seems okay...

[The jellyfish fly by]

SpongeBob: Patrick! There it goes! [The two begin chasing it again]

SpongeBob: Don't stop now, Patrick, we're gaining on him! [SpongeBob and Patrick laugh and they fall off a cliff]

SpongeBob and Patrick: [screams]

[Cuts to a small village inside a trench]

Cletus: [heading into outhouse] Well, it's now or never. [SpongeBob and Patrick fall onto the outhouse as Cletus walks into it]

SpongeBob: Ehhh.

Trenchbilly: You boys are mighty colorful, a smidget too colorful, if ya' ask me.

Cletus: [climbs out of hole] And too darn heavy, if ya' ask me.

SpongeBob: Well, actually Patrick has been trying to shed a few-[The trenchbillies capture them with a rope and they scream]

Cletus: Tell it to Ma Angler...[The trenchbillies carry them on a pole to Ma Angler's house]

Trenchbillies: [all talking] [cuts to Ma Angler's house]

Ma Angler: Now tell me there, what was it y'alls was doin' down yonder at the outhouse in the first place?

Cletus: I dun told ya', Ma, thar I was doin' my duty, just like any other Sunday...[flashback]

Cletus: [heading into outhouse] Well, it's now or never... [flashback stops] When not so much as a warning shout, these here varmints dun dropped, right out of the wild, black yonder, smack-dab onto my noggin! Darn there givin' me a crick in the neck it has to.

SpongeBob: We're really sorry about interrupting your-

Jordan Klein: Y'all hush up!

Ma Angler: Now Cletus, is this another one of your tall tales, you tend to tell?

Cletus: I-I-I swears I ain't fibbin', Ma!

Ma Angler: Cletus.

Cletus: Just ask Uncle Belcher. He'll tell you the whole story.

Uncle Belcher: [belches]

Cletus: See.

Ma Angler: Well, I must admit one thing, they is awfully perty... Nevertheless, as leader of this here clan, which I is, I must subject these two pretty folks, to clan initiation rights to deem their worthy.

SpongeBob: Umm...

Patrick: Worthy of what?

SpongeBob: ...specifically.

Ma Angler: Of livin'... [SpongeBob and Patrick gulp] Theether! Go on and get your fiddle.

SpongeBob: Look, Patrick! He's gonna play us a little song. [Teether plays a short tune]

SpongeBob: Short song.

Patrick: SpongeBob, I think this is meant to be a-a musical challenge.

SpongeBob: Challenge? [The trenchbilly plays another short tune] Patrick, we don't even have an instrument to play. [He plays yet another song, a bit longer this time.]

Patrick: Yeah, and soon we won't have anything to play it with...

SpongeBob: Huh! Patrick! Hang on... [SpongeBob whispers to a trenchbilly] [The trenchbilly takes off his suspenders and gives them to SpongeBob]

Patrick: SpongeBob, don't leave me!

SpongeBob: Wouldn't dream of it, Patrick.

Patrick: Alright! [The trenchbilly continues to play his fiddle] [Patrick begins playing a tune, using SpongeBob's body. Patrick and the trenchbilly play back and forth very fast] [The trenchbilly eventually explodes and Patrick wins. Stars fall from the sky]

SpongeBob: Well, Patrick, even though you won, it looks like he was the real star. Hahaha. [Patrick smiles]

Ma Angler: Betsy!

Betsy: Yes'um?

Ma Angler: It's time for a hootin' and hollarin' contest.

Betsy: [clears throat] [begins yodeling]

SpongeBob: Patrick, it's a singing competition. What are we gonna do?

Patrick: I don't know, but I am a sure thirsty after that fiddlin'. [drinks soda]

SpongeBob: Hey, give me some of that! [begins drinking the soda] [Both SpongeBob and Patrick let out a very long and loud belch.]

Trenchbillies: Yee-haww!

SpongeBob: Looks like we're on a roll, eh, Patrick?

[Cuts to outside, where a wrestling match is taking place.]

Ma Angler: I just love me some wrastlin' and tusslin'! [One of the wrestlers in thrown through Ma Angler's roof] [SpongeBob and Patrick clap and SpongeBob whistles]

Patrick: Let me see more.

SpongeBob: My compliments to the chef.

Cletus: [pokes SpongeBob with a pitchfork] Your turn.

SpongeBob: Hah! Well, actually, my friend and I, we don't like to wrestle.

Ma Angler: Huh? You don't like to wrastle?

SpongeBob: No, we're not the wrestling sort.

Ma Angler: Well, then, what in tarnation do you pretty folks like to do for fun?

SpongeBob: Well, uh-uh, we like to go jellyfishing!

Ma Angler: Jellyfishin'. What kinda tomfoolery is jellyfishin'?

SpongeBob: Well, it goes something like this: [SpongeBob and Patrick pull out their nets and start running around and dancing]

Cletus: What-the?

Ma Angler: That's disgustin'.

SpongeBob: Now, Patrick! [they both jump into the air and collide in slow motion once again] Well, something like that anyway...

Patrick: Nice knowing you, buddy...

Ma Angler: Well, I haven't seen anybody cut up like that 'round these parts since we was potty-trained Junior. [laughs] He was near about 13! [The trenchbillies all laugh]

Cletus: Them boys is dumber than my box a' rotten teeth! [Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking through a crowd of trenchbillies, with confetti.]

Cletus: Go get em' tiger!

Jordan Klein: [crying] They grow up so fast.

Ma Angler: As leader of this here clan, I hereby debut: Sponge-Joe-Bob and Deral, honorary trenchbillies. [hands them novelty teeth] [SpongeBob and Patrick both put in the teeth]

Cletus: Speech! Speech!

SpongeBob: Well, I guess if I were to say one thing, and I think I'm speaking for Patrick and myself here, is that y'all are a bunch a' real kind folks and it's been a real hoot gettin' to know y'all! [SpongeBob and Patrick walk away waving] Farewall, friendly trenchbillies. See ya' 'round.

Patrick: Toodles.

Cletus: [stops them with a pitchfork] And where do you folk think you're goin'?

SpongeBob: Over to home.

Cletus: Well, you're one of our kin' now, so this is your home, and as such, you've been givin' the great honor of takin' care a' Ma, for the rest of your natural-born lives.

Patrick: [Confused and worried]Takin' care a' Ma?!

SpongeBob: [Terrified]For the rest of our natural-born lives?!

Cletus: You know, carry her purse, give her cat massages, read her the Willy Shakespeare ‘til she falls asleep at night. Ah, Ma just loves Iambic pentameter!

SpongeBob: [Nervous]Well, that all sounds like a lot of fun, but I-I have responsibilities back home at Bikini Bottom. I have a pet snail to feed and can't be late for work at the Krusty Krab!

Patrick: Yeah, and, iambic pentameter gives me a headache! [starts crying]

Cletus: [swings pitchfork] You folks ain't goin' nowhere.

SpongeBob: Oh please, Mr. Trenchbillie, where can we-

Patrick: Oh, hey, your shoe's untied.

Cletus: What? But I ain't even wearin'-[Sees SpongeBob and Patrick are suddenly gone] Darn it.

[Cuts to Krusty Krab]

Mr. Krabs: Well, what was I supposed to tell them, Squidward?

Squidward: You could have told him that he could have his money back.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, no I couldn't.

Squidward: Why?

Mr. Krabs: Because, I already put it in the register!

[SpongeBob and Patrick burst through the door]

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! We just escaped from an angry mob of deep sea bunkins!

Patrick: It was horrible! They were gonna make us stay forever and massage their grandma.

Mr. Krabs: [Unconcerned] So. Why ya' telling me?

SpongeBob: Because they followed us here. [The trenchbillies show up at the door Squidward and Mr. Krabs get scared]

[SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs all scream] [The trenchbillies storm in and begin destroying the Krusty Krab's possessions]

Cletus: Come on out! We know you're in thar!

Mr. Krabs: [nervous] Welcome to the Krusty Krab. May I take your order?

Cletus: Umm, sure. I'll have me a large Krabby Patty with uhh...a cola, no, no! Lemon-lime! [Shows the trenchbillies all eating.]

Mr. Krabs: Keep them coming, SpongeBob! This is the most business in a long time!

SpongeBob: Aye', captain! I'm gonna get some more buns.

Ma Angler: More! More! More! More! [A trenchbilly shoves Krabby Patties into her mouth using a shovel]

Mr. Krabs: Oh yeah, that's what I like to see. She's gonna make customer of the week.

Cletus: [pokes Mr. Krabs with his pitchfork] We catch anyone makin' goo-goo eyes like that at our Ma, it can only mean one thing: He's gonna get hitched!

Mr. Krabs: [gulps] [shows Mr. Krabs and Ma Angler in a car riding away] Noooooo!

[SpongeBob, Patrick, and others wave hands. The heart animation appears when the episode ends.]