[It's a dark and stormy night at the Krusty Krab]

Nat: Boy, good thing I remembered my umbrella.

Mabel: Me too.

[Nat and the old fish both walk out of the Krusty Krab and gets swept away by a tornado]

Abigail Marge: Come on, kids. [The family of fish also get swept away]

Dave: [walks outside] Ahh, too bad I forgot my umbrella. [walks away]

Mr. Krabs: Ahhh, the end of another successful business day. You know, Squidward, this kind of day always reminds me of money. [pours the money out of his cash register] Ahhahhahah.... [Pilar gets swept away]

Squidward: Oh, yeah, that's nice. I'll be here working while you.....AHHHHHHHH! [sees an old fish at the door] Uh... Uh... Um... I'm sorry, ma’am, [gulps] but were closed. [The hagfish pours saliva out of her mouth] I know you're hungry, but- [The Hagfish pours out more saliva]. Uh... but we really are closed. Thank you, come again.

[Madame Hagfish slides through the door as Squidward closes it]

Squidward: Hey! Closed means closed, Grandma! [closes the door and the fish is pulled back, the fish slides into the Krusty Krab and sighs] Oh, boy, Some people... [walks to the cash register]

Madame Hagfish: [goes to order] One Krabby Patty, please.

Squidward: I told you...we're closed! I was supposed to get out of here ten minutes ago! And besides, I already cashed the register out.

Madame Hagfish: Oh, but I-

Squidward: No.

Madame Hagfish: I-

Squidward: No.

Madame Hagfish: I-

Squidward: No way.

Madame Hagfish: Please I-

Squidward: Never...

Madame Hagfish: I brought exact change... [holds out three small shells]

Squidward: [eyes twirking] Ah-ha, that is what they cost...20 years ago. Krabby Patties cost $4.50, lady.

Madame Hagfish: Oh, dear. Seems I'm just one short.

Mr. Krabs: [looks at her] No way, granny!

Madame Hagfish: Oh, But it's all I have. Please...

Squidward: Nope.

Madame Hagfish: Oh please.

SpongeBob: [sniffles] How terribly sad.

Madame Hagfish: Please, Oh, please...

SpongeBob: [whispers to the Hagfish]

Madame Hagfish: [gasps. slithers to the door] You haven't seen the last of me! [leaves]

Mr. Krabs: Well, I've certainly seen enough. [laughs]

Squidward: What a creepy old hagfish, I thought she'd never leave.

Mr. Krabs: Aye, good job there, SpongeBob. Say, what did you tell here that finally drove her out? I may need to know in case she ever comes back. [laughs]

SpongeBob: [begins laughing along] Need to know in case she ever- [laughs again]

SpongeBob: [leaves] Have a good night, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, you too, SpongeBob. Have a good- [notices something in SpongeBob's pants]...night?

[Thick fog sweeps across the Krusty Krab]

SpongeBob: [sneaks behind the Krusty Krab] Old lady? Old lady?

Madame Hagfish: Here I am. [coughs] Right where you told me to meet you.

SpongeBob: Actually, I told you to meet me two paces to the left.

[Hagfish moves two paces to the left]

SpongeBob: Oh good, you're here! [pulls two delicious Krabby Patties out of his pants] I brought the stuff.

Madame Hagfish: My goodness! This has to be the most kind, most generous, most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for-

SpongeBob: You're welcome, just take them before someone sees us.

Mr. Krabs: Too late! [takes the patties]

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: So, it's true!

SpongeBob: H-How did you find out?

Mr. Krabs: Find out? Boy, you would have to get up pretty early to sneak a pair of buns past old, Mr. Krabs.

Squidward: Or at least before he takes off his sleep mask.

Mr. Krabs: How did you know I wore a sleep mask?

SpongeBob: Ohh please, Mr. Krabs don't fire me. Please! [thunder]

Madame Hagfish: [flies in the air] Eye of newt and frozen sharkskin slab, I hereby curse the Krusty Krab! [evil laugh. flies away. The clouds clear up]

Mr. Krabs: [throws patties away] We are not a soup kitchen, boy! And these will be coming out of your paycheck. Besides, we don't want to encourage- [shutters] charity...

SpongeBob: But what about the- the- the- the- the- the-

Mr. Krabs: Come on, boy! Spit it out!

SpongeBob: The- the- the- the- the-

Mr. Krabs: Okay, let's see what's under the hood. [reveals a record player in SpongeBob's chest and moves the pin and laughs] I think that should do it.

SpongeBob: But what about the curse?

Mr. Krabs: The curse? Boy, let me explain something about curses with a short story me grandpappy used to tell me: Oh yes, curses are nonsense!

SpongeBob: They are, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Yep. Just fabricated superstition. Right, Squidward?

Squidward: You're asking the wrong guy about curses, I live next door to SpongeBob. [shudders]

Mr. Krabs: [laughs] See, boy, just a bonical ramblings of an old lady. Nothing to worry about.

[Cuts to inside the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs watching out the door]

Mr. Krabs: Squidward, I'm starting to get worried. I've got a funny feeling that the Krusty Krab really is cursed.

Squidward: Uh-huh. And why is that?

Mr. Krabs: Well, we haven't seen a single customer all morning!

Squidward: That's not a curse. [sips coffee] That's a blessing.

Mr. Krabs: [laughs] Yeah, you're right, there is no such thing as curses. Ha.

[A dish suddenly falls from the top of the Krusty Krab, it startles Squidward, who drops his coffee, starting a fire, the fire begins burning Mr. Krabs' money]

Mr. Krabs: Me money! Aah!

SpongeBob: I got it! I got it! [grabs a dollar bill and begins blowing on it] Oh, Oh Hot, hot! [realizes that it is hot and slowly rips it into pieces] I don't got it...

Squidward: I just remember there is a no-curse clause in my contract, nice working with you.

Mr. Krabs: Squidward, wait. You don't even have a contract.

Squidward: There is a no-contract clause in it too.

[SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs are driving to Madam Hagfish's house]

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, what makes you so sure that even if we find that old lady, that she will lift the curse?

Mr. Krabs: [laughs] Don't worry, SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs has a special technique when dealing with situations like these. It's called beggin' and pleadin.'

French Narrator: Many hours later...

Mr. Krabs: Well, SpongeBob, I don't think were ever gonna find-

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, look!

Mr. Krabs: Well I'll be the slimy, son of a slithery, slippery sea slug, boy. It's here!

[At Madame Hagfish's house]

Madame Hagfish: Give me one good reason why I should lift the curse.

Mr. Krabs: Because if ya' don't, me business will be ruined forever.

Madame Hagfish: I said: give me a good reason.

Mr. Krabs: [crying and on his knees, begging] Oh please, Madame Hagfish. Please, I'll do anything, anything at all.

Madame Hagfish: Oh, I like a man who begs.

Mr. Krabs: [whispering to SpongeBob] See, told ya.

Madame Hagfish: I will lift the curse, provided you two complete a dangerous task.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, wait a minute, granny, what part of this-

SpongeBob: Oh anything, Great Hagfish.

Madame Hagfish: Bring me the sacred gold doubloon from the throat of the Giant Golden Eel!

SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: Okay...

[Cuts a dark cave]

SpongeBob: Well, this must be it. The lair of the Golden Eel.

Mr. Krabs: How could you tell?

SpongeBob: She gave me its business card.

[SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs begin walking through the cave]

Mr. Krabs: Hey, SpongeBob so you think this fudgy stuff we're walking in is the eel's-

SpongeBob: ...Leftover pudding. Yes I thought that too.

Mr. Krabs: Hold it, SpongeBob, Look. [points to the Golden Eel, who is sleeping]

SpongeBob: It's the eel. Well, nappy time always comes after pudding. Let's go get the doubloon from his throat before he wakes up.

Mr. Krabs: Good idea, be careful not to-

SpongeBob: [trips and falls] Whoa!

[The Golden Eels starts to awaken]

Mr. Krabs: He's awake!

[SpongeBob screams. The Golden Eel begins to mumble and swings his tail around]

SpongeBob: Look out for his- Tail! Quick find something to-

[Mr. Krabs uses SpongeBob as a shield]

SpongeBob: ...Hide behind... [the eel whacks SpongeBob and he goes flying] Whoa!

[The Golden Eel grabs and strangles Mr. Krabs with his tail]

SpongeBob: [starting to get up] Morning, already. [gasps] I'm coming Mr. Krabs [runs to Mr. Krabs] Don't go anywhere!

Mr. Krabs: I really don't have a choice. [the eel traps in on Mr. Krabs tighter]

SpongeBob: Take this! [pokes the Eel with his fist very lightly. The eel drops Mr. Krabs]

Mr. Krabs: Good job, laddie!

SpongeBob: We're not finished yet! [pokes the Eel again, the doubloon flies out of his mouth] I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! [claps his hands together but is unsuccessful in catching it] I don't got it.

[Mr. Krabs shows that he has caught it. Cuts back to Madame Hagfish's house]

Mr. Krabs: Madame Hagfish, we've got the gold doubloon you asked for.

Madame Hagfish: Finally. [deposits the doubloon into her washing machine] Clean free.

Mr. Krabs: Ahh, now it's time to lift that curse, like you promised.

[Cuts to the Krusty Krab]

Madame Hagfish: [pulls out a 'closed' sign from the Krusty Krab lawn] There ya' go, the curse is lifted.

SpongeBob: A closed sign?

Mr. Krabs: That's it? That's the curse?!

Madame Hagfish: You think I'm gonna waste good spells on a bottom-feeder like you? Have a nice day.

[many customers immediately drive up]

[now inside the Krusty Krab]

Mr. Krabs: Well, it's like I told you before boy, there ain't no such thing as witches, or curses, or magical beings, or-

[a very loud rumbling is heard. the Giant Golden Eel pops up inside the Krusty Krab, which scares everyone away as the episode ends]