SpongeBob: [A bus arrives at Jellyfish Fields.] You
know, Patrick, the Jellyfish migration is my favorite time of year! For three
whole days, jellyfish from around the globe gather on one spot to trade jelly
secrets. [gasps as he sees a blue jellyfish.] Patrick, look! It's a
blue-crested blaster! I've never seen one before! They're really rare. And a
speckled squirter! A two fisted Jumper! And a gold-throated stinger!
Gold Throated Singer: La, la, la, la, la, la, la!
SpongeBob: Oh, this year's migration is gonna be a big
one! [SpongeBob and Patrick are over-shadowed.]
Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob? [looks up and sees a bunch of
colorful jellyfish above them.]
SpongeBob: Wow. This looks like a job for Ol'
Reliable! [opens his case to a metal net instead of one made of bamboo sticks.
He catches many jellyfish while Patrick struggles to catch one. Scene cuts to
the bus stop.]
SpongeBob: Ah, that was the most beautiful day of
jellyfishing ever.
Patrick: Well, I didn't catch a thing with my dumb old
net. [his net breaks.]
SpongeBob: Lucky for me, I have Ol' Reliable! Carbon
fiber handle, titanium alloy netting and form-fitting silicone grips. Yes, sir,
Ol' Reliable is the best net in the world.
Patrick: Wow! I would kill for a net like that! You
know, something small like a carrot. But not spiders, they're icky. [shudders.
Scene cuts to the bus dropping off Patrick and SpongeBob on their street.]
SpongeBob: Good night, Patrick.
Patrick: Good night, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: [in his bed] Ah, I love jellyfishing.
[night breaks into day quickly and the foghorn alarm goes off.] Whoo! Time to
get ready for day two of the jellyfish migration. And I'll start with my trusty
jellyfishing net, Ol' Reliable. [realizes he doesn't have it]. Ol' Reliable?
[gasps] It's gone! [runs out the door in his underwear.]
Gary: Meow?
SpongeBob: Oh, right. Pants.
French Narrator: One pair of pants later...
SpongeBob: Patrick, Ol' Reliable has been stolen!
[both scream. Scene cuts to them stapling posters saying "STOLEN! OL'
RELIABLE."]
SpongeBob: Put one over there, Patrick.
Patrick: I'm all done.
SpongeBob: Maybe we should spread out a little.
[newspaper ad of the "Bikini Bottom Gazette" reads "STOLEN: OL'
RELIABLE" on the front page.]
Johnny: Flash. The jellyfish migration enters its
second day of fantastic jellyfishing. We now go live to our reporter on the
scene.
Perch Perkins: [in Jellyfish Fields.] This year's
migration is the largest in a century! I feel truly sorry for the poor saps that
will miss even one minute of this remarkable event. [SpongeBob takes Perch's
microphone.]
SpongeBob: Attention, Bikini Bottom, my jellyfishing
net has been stolen. I am prepared to offer a large reward for its safe return.
[Mr. Krabs sees this on TV at home and runs to Jellyfish Fields then appears on
TV instantly.]
Mr. Krabs: Reward? How much we talkin' about?
SpongeBob: 12 dollars and... [counts the coins] ...38
cents.
Mr. Krabs: I'm on the case. [takes SpongeBob's money
and runs off screen while Perch takes back his microphone.]
Perch Perkins: Guys, I know it's a slow news day, but
come on. [The scene cuts to SpongeBob sitting in his chair by the phone when it
rings. He picks it up.]
SpongeBob: Oh! Hello? Hello?
Patrick: SpongeBob, did you get your net back?
SpongeBob: Oh, get off the line, Patrick. Someone
might be trying to call about Ol' Reliable!
Patrick: Oh, sorry. [hangs up. The phone rings again.]
Did you get your net yet?
SpongeBob: No, Patrick. Don't call unless you found my
net. [hangs up. The phone rings again.]
SpongeBob: Hello?!
Patrick: SpongeBob, I found your net!
SpongeBob: What?! Really, Patrick?
Patrick: Uhh, oh, not really. I just got lonely.
SpongeBob: Oh, I'll never get my net back. I'll just
have to accept that Ol' Reliable is gone forever. [looks out his window and
notices Patrick running around with a jellyfish net.]
SpongeBob: [sighs] Patrick's lucky. He gets to
practice in the middle of the night with his jellyfish net. [gets in bed.]
Funny thing is, Patrick's net disintegrated yesterday. [his eyes widen. Scene
cuts to morning. Patrick walks up to SpongeBob's pineapple.]
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, did you get Ol' Reliable back
yet?
SpongeBob: [sighs] No, not yet. Hey, Patrick, wouldn't
it be the funniest thing if you had taken my jellyfish net? [Patrick laughs
then stops.]
Patrick: No. [SpongeBob laughs]
SpongeBob: Yeah, that would be silly. Oh, that reminds
me. I got you a present.
Patrick: A present? What is it?
SpongeBob: [pulls out a bear with a microphone in its
hand.] It's a Confess-A-Bear. He's a special friend you tell all your secrets
to.
Patrick: Wow, thanks, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: I'll just leave you two alone to get
acquainted.
[He quickly dashes off to speak for the bear.]
SpongeBob/Confess-A-Bear: Hi! My name is
Confess-A-Bear! Tell me all your secrets.
Patrick: Um, [sits on the ground] I did something
recently I'm not very proud of. I didn't mean to do it. It just sort of
happened.
SpongeBob / Confess-A-Bear: Oh, maybe you should talk
about it.
Patrick: Well, it involves my best friend SpongeBob. I
don't think he knows what happened, but it would really upset him if he found
out.
SpongeBob / Confess-A-Bear: Tell Confess-A-Bear!
Patrick: I've said too much already.
SpongeBob / Confess-a-Bear: Tell Confess-A-Bear now!
Now!
Patrick: [screams] I accidentally knocked SpongeBob's
toothbrush in the toilet and put it back on the counter without washing it!
Confess-A-Bear? [SpongeBob runs around in the background screaming and wiping
his tongue off in disgust]. You're mad at me, aren't you, Confess-A-Bear?
[scene cuts to SpongeBob walking up to Patrick's rock.]
SpongeBob: Patrick, we need to talk.
Patrick: Uh, don't come in! I'm not decent! The house
is a mess! There's a radiation leak!
SpongeBob: Hmmm... [walks down some stairs into
Patrick's rock.] Patrick, where are you? Why are the lights off?
Patrick: I'm in here. Be out in a second. [Patrick's
shadow reveals himself holding a jellyfishing net.]
SpongeBob: Ol' Reliable! Ah...ha.
Patrick: [Standing with his hands behind his back.]
Hello.
SpongeBob: What's in your hand, Patrick?
Patrick: [shows his left hand.] Nothing.
SpongeBob: What's in your other hand?
Patrick: [grows another arm through his chest.]
Nothing in my other hand.
SpongeBob: Well, I gotta go.
Patrick: Okay, bye.
SpongeBob: Patrick wouldn't steal Ol' Reliable. Would
he? [imagines Patrick from earlier.]
Patrick: I would kill for a net like that! [takes out
a carrot, breaks it in half, and laughs maniacally.]
SpongeBob: [screams.] Have I been best friends with a
master thief? I must know for sure. [scene cuts to the next day.] Good morning,
Patrick.
Patrick: Good morning, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: What are you going to do today, buddy?
Patrick: Eh, nothing.
SpongeBob: [puts on his Krusty Krab hat.] Well, I'm
off to work. See ya later, Patrick.
Patrick: Bye. [SpongeBob walks off then sneaks into a
bush in the background.]
SpongeBob: Now, we'll just see what sort of nothing
you're really up to, Sneaky McSneakyPants. [looks through binoculars.]
French Narrator: Eight hours later...
SpongeBob: [still looking through binoculars.] Oh, he
is good. You never really know a guy until you stare at him for eight hours
through high-powered binoculars. Hey, where'd he go? [Patrick is behind him.]
Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob. What are you doing?
SpongeBob: Uh, you... what the...? What are you doing?
Patrick: Nothing. I just finished. [takes out his
to-do list and crosses out 'Nothing.'] Oh, hey, look. You can see where I was
just standing from here. Boy, if you wanted to, you could have spied on me all
day from right here. [shudder.] Creepy, huh? Anyway, what are you doing with
those binoculars?
SpongeBob: [yells and throws away the binoculars.] I
don't have any binoculars, see?
Patrick: You're acting weird.
SpongeBob: I'm not acting weird! You're acting weird!
[runs off panting.] You're... acting... weird!
Patrick: Okay, bye! [later, SpongeBob knocks on
Patrick's rock.] Hello! Who are you?
SpongeBob: [wearing a mustache. British accent.]
Greetings, young fellow! I am willing to pay top dollar for jellyfishing items
with sentimental value, if you know what I mean.
Patrick: Oh. No.
SpongeBob: Word on the street is that you know where
to get quality jellyfishing supplies hmm.
Patrick: What street said that? Was it this one?
[points at the street.] Mind your own business!
SpongeBob: Oh Mr. Star, I know that you are in
possession of a rare jellyfishing net. [shows a fake $1,000,000,000 bill that
is colored on with crayon] I will pay one billion dollars for that net.
Patrick: I don't know who you are, but you're not
getting this jellyfishing net! [holds the jellyfishing case out.] I wouldn't
sell it for a million dollars, not for a hundred dollars, I wouldn't even sell
it for a dollar!
SpongeBob: Oh, really?
Patrick: You can't have it for any price.
SpongeBob: And why not?
Patrick: This means more to me than money. It's my
friend SpongeBob's.
SpongeBob: [rips off the mustache. Normal voice.]
A-ha!
Patrick: SpongeBob! Oh, thank goodness you're here.
There was this scary guy with a mustache asking a lot of weird questions.
SpongeBob: Patrick, [puts on the mustache.] I'm the
scary mustache guy!
Patrick: [screams] Why, SpongeBob, why?! Why would you
wear such a scary mustache?
SpongeBob: [rips off the mustache] Why did you steal
my jellyfishing net?!
Patrick: What?! I'm your best friend!
SpongeBob: You were my best friend, you no-good
jellyfish net thief!
Patrick: How could you think that?
SpongeBob: Because you said it! You said that it was
your friend SpongeBob's!
Patrick: Gift.
SpongeBob: What?
Patrick: It's my friend SpongeBob's gift. [opens the
case up to reveal a new jellyfishing net.] I made you a new net.
SpongeBob: [reads inscription] For SpongeBob. You made
me a new jellyfishing net? That is so thoughtful of you! Patrick? [a bunch of
stuff is on the ground.]
[Patrick puts the TV in the pile.]
SpongeBob: What'cha doing, best friend?
Patrick: I'm not your best friend. I'm a no-good jelly
netting thief fish!
SpongeBob: Where are you going?
Patrick: I'm leaving Bikini Bottom while I still have
my dignity.
SpongeBob: Patrick, no! [bus stops in front of them.]
So, this is it?
Patrick: Barring the unforeseen hand of fate, I'm
afraid it is.
SpongeBob: [hands onto Patrick's left foot.] Patrick,
don't go! I'm sorry I accused you! It's bad enough I lost my net. I don't want
to lose my friend, too. Please forgive me.
Nat Peterson: What's the holdup? Oh, it's you two.
[shows SpongeBob his net.] Look, you left your net on the bus again.
SpongeBob: Ol' Reliable? I left you on the bus?
Nat Peterson: You do it every week. Now can we get
going?
SpongeBob: Patrick, I want you to take this to
remember me by.
Patrick: You're giving me Ol' Reliable? [cries loudly]
I accept your apology!
SpongeBob: Oh, come here, you big lug! [both hug and
cry loudly]
All: Aww...
Nat Peterson: They do this all the time. I'm serious.
I--ugh, never mind.
Patrick: I'm staying in Bikini Bottom!
Passengers: Hooray! [bus drives off]
Patrick: You want to go jellyfishing? I just got a new
net. [holds up Ol' Reliable.]
SpongeBob: So did I. [holds up the one Patrick made
for him.] My best friend made it for me.
SpongeBob & Patrick: Whee! [Both laugh and run into Jellyfish Fields, where the exotic jellyfish are still there.]