Mr. Krabs: Squidward! SpongeBob! Just put me out of my
misery.
SpongeBob: Why, Mr. Krabs? What could be wrong on this
fine day?
Mr. Krabs: Fine?! [grabs SpongeBob's mouth and ties it
up] Today's not the day for that word, boy. Not after I received this letter
from the Fry Cooks Union. It says here fry cook SpongeBob SquarePants has
accumulated too much vacation time. And if you don't take some time off, I'll
have to pay a fine. [cries]
SpongeBob: Time off?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I guess there's no other way to say
this... SpongeBob, take a vacation.
SpongeBob: Aye aye, Mr. Krabs. [runs out]
Mr. Krabs: Well, that went better than expected.
SpongeBob: [running down the street] I'm ready,
vacation. I'm ready, vacation. Vacation. Vacation. [enters his house] Hey,
Gary.
Gary: Meow?
SpongeBob: That's right, Gary, I am home early. I'm on
vacation. Well, good night, Gary. [walks into his bed and closes his eyes for
no more than two seconds before his alarm goes off. Scene cuts to him lifting
his weights, eating cereal, flossing, showering, then putting on some spray to
make him shine. He grabs his hat then walks into the Krusty Krab] Good morning,
Krusty Krew! Hello, Squidward.
Squidward: I thought you were on vacation.
Mr. Krabs: [stops SpongeBob] He was and is. I told you
to take a vacation, boy.
SpongeBob: What's a vacation?
Mr. Krabs: Well, a vacation is when you don't come
into work.
SpongeBob: [gasps] No work?! But what'll I do all day?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I dunno. Just go have fun or whatever.
I really don't care. Ya just can't be here.
SpongeBob: But who will fry the patties and clean the
grill while I'm gone? Squidward can't do it all alone.
Squidward: Nor will I.
Mr. Krabs: That's why I've hired an unpaid intern as
your temporary replacement.
Patrick: [walks in] Good morning, boss. I'm ready for
my first day.
Mr. Krabs: Speaking of starfish, here's your
replacement right here.
SpongeBob: Replacement?
Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.
Mr. Krabs: That's enough banter on my dime.
Patrick: Ok, boss.
Mr. Krabs: Wait a second, Patrick. You'll need the
right tools for the job. [takes SpongeBob's hat and spatula and gives it to
Patrick]
Patrick: Wow. [notices his reflection in the spatula]
Huh! They put a tiny me in the belly scratcher. [scratches his belly and his
back] Wow. It scratches backs, too!
Mr. Krabs: Ah, take it from me, SpongeBob. Just go on
home. Enjoy your vacation.
SpongeBob: I really should tell Patrick the proper
patty-flipping technique. [Mr. Krabs shuts the doors in SpongeBob's face. Scene
cuts to inside SpongeBob's house]
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: I'm on vacation, Gary. I'm not allowed to
go to work. [stomach growls then shrinks. SpongeBob gasps] My stomach has
receded! Mr. Krabs said I couldn't work at the Krusty Krab. He didn't say I
couldn't eat there. This is my ticket back inside! [scene cuts to Krusty Krab]
Squidward: Go away, SpongeBob. You're ruining my
vacation...from you.
SpongeBob: I'm not here to see you, Squidward.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, do we have to go through this
again?
SpongeBob: I'm here as a customer not as an employee.
Just gonna grab a Krabby Patty with Patrick for lunch.
Mr. Krabs: Alright, but lunch only. If you so much as
touch a spatula, you'll be vacationing in Davy Jones' locker.
SpongeBob: You have my word, sir. No working. [enters
kitchen] Hey, Pat, it's time for your lunch... [screams as he sees Patrick
putting patties, attached to his body, on the grill] Patrick, you can't do
that!
Patrick: Huh?
SpongeBob: You need to turn up the grill to exactly
298 degrees Fahrenheit. [turns the knob to the right from 297 to 298. Takes
Patrick's spatula] Patrick, this is no way to treat a Krabby Patty.
Mr. Krabs: [storms into the kitchen] SpongeBob! What
did I tell you about working?
SpongeBob: Wait, it's not what you think.
Mr. Krabs: [wheels SpongeBob on a dolly] Out you go,
boy.
SpongeBob: But my knowledge could help Patrick
maintain the high standards of the Krusty Krab.
Mr. Krabs: We've got it all under control here. I
don't want to see hide or tail of ya 'til your vacation is over. You got that?
SpongeBob: Yes, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Well, boy... [launches SpongeBob off] off
ya go! And don't come back 'til it's over. [scene cuts to SpongeBob entering
his house]
SpongeBob: Oh, what to do, what to do. I know just the
thing to get the spirits up: the official Krusty Krab playset! [sits down in
front of a toy Krusty Krab with Krusty Krew figures. Opens it up]
Squidward: [SpongeBob imitating him] SpongeBob, I need
20 Krabby Patties on the double, please.
SpongeBob: Sure thing, Mr. Squidward, sir. 20 Krabby
Patties coming up.
Mr. Krabs: [SpongeBob imitating him] SpongeBob! What
are you doing here?! You're gonna cost me some loot if you don't get your
square keister home! Out, out, out! Until your vacation is over! [takes
SpongeBob's Krusty hat off. SpongeBob walks home, sad]
SpongeBob: [walking inside his pineapple] Oh, what to
do on this boring vacation? Hey, I know just the thing to get the ol' spirits
up! [plays with a smaller Krusty Krab playset]
Squidward: [SpongeBob imitating him] I need 20 Krabby
Patties, please.
SpongeBob: Sure thing, ol' buddy, ol' Squid. 20 Krabby
Patties coming...
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: You're right, Gary. It is unhealthy to
think of the Krusty Krab while I'm on vacation. I need to get out of the house.
[scene cuts to Krusty Krab where Squidward is washing windows until he sees
SpongeBob]
Squidward: Uh, Mr. Krabs, he's out there again.
Mr. Krabs: I'll deal with this. Boy, you're on Krusty
Krab property. Back it up. [SpongeBob steps backwards] Further. [steps
backwards more] Further. [steps backwards more] Further. [steps backwards more]
Further. [steps backwards until he is in front of his house] That'll do.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs is right. In order to enjoy my
vacation, I need to stay away from work. Physically and mentally. [looks at his
net] Hey, that reminds me of... [his net turns into a spatula. Pretends to
grill but stops] Hold it right there, Mr. WorkaholicPants. You're on vacation.
You just need to sit down and relax. [floats onto the ground] That's more like
it. Just sit back and watch the clouds. [watches a cloud go by] That one's a
jellyfish! [another cloud goes by] That's a pirate ship. [another cloud goes
by] And that's low salt ketchup...whoa! Low salt ketchup? [scene cuts to Krusty
Krab where a delivery truck backs up. SpongeBob, in a disguise, walks up to the
kitchen door] Got your steaming, hot bun delivery here. [another delivery truck
backs up. A delivery fish gets out with the same buns on a plate]
Delivery Fish: Huh? What's the big idea, here?
[SpongeBob laughs nervously then gets booted out. Scene cuts to the phone
ringing inside the Krusty Krab. Patrick answers]
Patrick: Hello? Hello? Hello? [SpongeBob slips through
the phone cord and through Patrick's head but gets shot out of the Krusty Krab,
through the doors. Scene cuts to the Krusty Krab restroom where Patrick is
cleaning out his ear] Huh, I didn't know I even had an ear. [notices water
splashing out from the toilet behind him] Hey, I just cleaned that one.
SpongeBob: [climbs out with his sponge head] Patrick,
shhh.
Patrick: It talks! [screams and runs out]
SpongeBob: [struggles] Somebody help, I'm stuck! [Mr.
Krabs walks up] Mr. Krabs! Thank Neptune it's you. I'm in a bit of a fix here.
[Mr. Krabs grabs a cord above the toilet] Um, Mr. Krabs? [Mr. Krabs flushes the
toilet] Noooo! [gets flushed down the toilet. Scene cuts to SpongeBob jumping
out of a customer's shirt and into the grease fryer in the kitchen] Uh-oh.
Mr. Krabs: Now what? [picks up the fryer and sees
SpongeBob small and deep fried] Tsk, tsk, tsk. [SpongeBob then crumbles into
crumbs and puts him in his boat out back] I've had enough for one day, son.
[drives off]
SpongeBob: Thanks for the ride home, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Not a problem at all, me boy.
SpongeBob: Just take the next right. [Mr. Krabs drives
past his house] Mr. Krabs, we just passed the turn off.
Mr. Krabs: Uh-huh.
SpongeBob: My house is back that way, Mr. K.
Mr. Krabs: Far out, little man. Far out. [drives into
a forest and stops]
SpongeBob: Where'd you say you were taking me?
Mr. Krabs: Look, boy, [takes out a spatula] I brought
your spatula. [SpongeBob glares at the spatula and pants like a dog] C'mon,
boy, get it. Get the spatula. Go get it! [throws the spatula into the forest. SpongeBob
chases after it while Mr. Krabs turns around and drives off] Enjoy your
vacation, boy!
SpongeBob: It's not fair. Why would Mr. Krabs try so
hard to get rid of me? I'm only on vacation. Unless, it's a... [gasps]
...permanent vacation! That's it! Mr. Krabs wants to replace me. Oh, I
should've known! Patrick's had his eye on my job all along! He's been scheming!
They think I'm outdated! They think I'm all washed up! Well, I'll show them!
[scene cuts to Patrick running down the street to his rock]
Patrick: Working at the Krusty Krab. Making Krabby
Patties all day. Flipping Krusty Krab working patties krab...uhh, that's a hard
song to remember. [opens his rock and jumps in] Huh?
SpongeBob: [sitting in the corner of Patrick's rock]
Who do they think they are? I gave the best years of my life to this place and
they think they can just fire me like that? Like trash? I don't think so!
Patrick: SpongeBob? Is that you?
SpongeBob: [turns around with an evil look on his
face] I've been waiting for you, Patrick! [walks towards Patrick, growling]
Patrick: SpongeBob, you're scaring me. Ahh! [SpongeBob
laughs maniacally and closes in around Patrick. Scene cuts to Krusty Krab]
Squidward: What’ll be?
Customer: One Krabby Patty, please.
Squidward: One shell on a shingle. [Patrick gives
Squidward the order then many orders come out, it blocks the window just for
Mr. Krabs to notice]
Mr. Krabs: Well, I'll be...Patrick! Your cooking's
improved one-thousand fold. Congratulations, boy, you've finally got the hang
of it. [Patrick turns around, and it turns out to be SpongeBob in a Patrick
costume] SpongeBob? No wonder. Patrick could never flip that many patties in an
hour. What happened to that feller, anyway?
SpongeBob: Oh, I told him to stay home and watch
television. [Patrick is sitting at home watching a broken TV]
Mr. Krabs: Why'd you do it, laddy?
SpongeBob: [starts to cry] Oh, Mr. Krabs, I love the
putrid grease of the Krusty Krab so much, I just couldn't stay away!
Mr. Krabs: You don't have to. [takes out a calendar]
Your accumulated vacation time is used up. [tears up calendar] The union can't
fine me, anymore.
SpongeBob: You must've saved a fortune.
Mr. Krabs: Bumping barnacles, yes. [laughs and holds
up a dime] There she is.
SpongeBob: Wow! That's more than I make in a year.
Mr. Krabs: Don't be askin' me for a raise. Just get
back to work.
SpongeBob: [jumps out of the Patrick costume] Yippee! I happily acquiesce.