[Episode begins at the Krusty Krab.]

Customer: One Monster Krabby Patty, please.

Squidward: Hmph, no one's ordered a Monster Patty in ages. SpongeBob, one Monster Krabby Patty.

SpongeBob: [gasps, shaking] Did you say a Monster Krabby Patty?!

Squidward: Uh, one Monster Krabby Patty.

Mr. Krabs: Huh?! Monster Krabby Patty?!

Customers: Monster Krabby Patty?!

Customer #2: [in bathroom] Monster Krabby Patty?!

[A set of real hands drops a huge meat pile on the grill]

SpongeBob: Oh, dear Neptune.

Squidward: Oh, boy.

SpongeBob: [puts his spatula under the meat] We can do this! At the count of 3, we flip! Ready? 1, 2, 3! [Attempts to flip; spatula breaks in half] Spat?

[SpongeBob screams and cries in front of everyone while showing that his old spatula is broken/not fixed, including a baby crying with SpongeBob. The scene cuts to SpongeBob with a therapist.]

Therapist: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Go on. [SpongeBob cries once more.]

[SpongeBob is on a cliff, still crying. Patrick comes up and joins in crying. Switches to an ambulance taking Spatula away, Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob quietly watch.]

Mr. Krabs: Well, we better get back to work.

SpongeBob: Work? How can I go back to work without... without Spat?!

Mr. Krabs: Use another spatular.

SpongeBob: [close-up of his face, his eyes are hypno-like] What?! There is only one spatula for me, and that is Spat! Spat, wait up! Spat! [runs off to the hospital] I'm coming, Spat! [scene cuts to the hospital where SpongeBob is by a spatula's bed] Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together.

[SpongeBob flashes back to all the good times he had with his spatula: flipping patties, laying in the sun with spatula, scratching his back with spatula, playing ping pong with his spatula, reaching under the chair for the remote with spatula, and playing pirates with spatula.]

Doctor: There's no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about a replacement spatula. [SpongeBob turns around and starts to cry, then turns back around] Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can.

SpongeBob: Thank you, Doctor.

Doctor: Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm an actor researching for a role. Yes! Woohoo! I am so totally gonna get this part! [gives a sigh of relief]

SpongeBob: [gives a kiss to the spatula and walks out of the hospital] Replacement spatula? How can anything ever replace... HEY! Look at that! [notices a sign that says "LE SPATULA INSIDE" and a picture of a high-tech spatula is on it] [Thinks] Ooh. Looks fancy. So shiny. All those lines so sleek. What am I talking about? I don't need this. [walks off then reappears inside the shop in front of the spatula. Thinks] Maybe I do need this. [his eyes are shaped as a spatula]

Doctor: [in SpongeBob's thought bubble] I would give serious consideration to... [bell gongs] a replacement spatula.

[SpongeBob slowly reaches for the spatula, but his hand is slapped away by one of the employees and that means "No touchy-touchy the Le Spatula"]

SpongeBob: Ow!

Employee: Uh-uh! No touchy-touchy the Le Spatula! It is very, very expensive.

SpongeBob: I'm sorry.

Employee: Of course, if you purchase this fine item, you may... hold it.

SpongeBob: I've got some loose change in my pocket, will this cover it? [takes out a bunch of money]

Employee: Umm... [takes out a calculator and punches in many numbers] ...no.

[Scene switches to SpongeBob's house, next to a shelf of piggy banks]

SpongeBob: [breaks a piggy bank with a hammer] How about now?

Employee: No.

SpongeBob: [breaks another piggy bank] Now?

Employee: No.

[Repeat SpongeBob's action and the above two lines for three more piggy banks]

SpongeBob: [lifts up Gary's shell where there is a big diamond under it] Now?

Employee: No.

SpongeBob: [sells his house] That's everything I have. Now can I buy Le Spatula?

Employee: Everything, huh? [Looks at SpongeBob clothes] Nice outfit.

[Scene cuts to SpongeBob walking down the street nude where everyone is looking at him in shock]

SpongeBob: Evening, sir. Hey, granny, what's shaking? [walks into the Krusty Krab, passes Squidward] Ooh, breezy today.

Squidward: [snickers] Nice outfit, SpongeBob! [laughs hysterically]

SpongeBob: Thanks, Squidward. It was worth every penny.

Mr. Krabs: What's all the lollygagging about?!

Squidward: [still laughing] Mr. Krabs, get a load of SpongeBob.

Mr. Krabs: This better be good. [walks into the kitchen]

SpongeBob: Soon, everyone will know of your beauty.

Mr. Krabs: Alright, what's going on in [sees SpongeBob naked] ...ooh... Don't you have any shame, boy?

SpongeBob: All my shame went into here, Mr. Krabs. [shows Le Spatula]

Mr. Krabs: Le Spatular! What in blazes is that?

SpongeBob: Oh, just the answer to our little production dilemma. [Le Spatula glows]

Mr. Krabs: Well, what can it do?

Squidward: Can it make me famous?

SpongeBob: Anything you want and more. [pushes a button and the spatula spins]

Mr. Krabs: Ooh, that sounds exciting. Let me have a go at it. [Reaches for Le Spatula]

SpongeBob: [Holds Le Spatula away from Mr. Krabs' reach] Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs, no can do.

Mr. Krabs: [shocked] What? Are you going against your commanding officer?

SpongeBob: No, it's not that. It's just that this is a highly developed piece of engineering that takes quality time to master.

Mr. Krabs: With that fancy machinery, I expect you to make Krabby Patties twice as fast.

SpongeBob: Oh, I don't think that'll be a problem, Mr. Krabs. In fact... [pushes a button and a bunch of spatulas appear]

Le Spatula 3000: [says mechanically] Le Spatula 3000 at your service!

Mr. Krabs: Huh, impressive. Well, let's see that thing impress me even more by bringing in more customers and more money in me pocket. [laughs and walks away with Squidward]

SpongeBob: Oh, you won't believe what Le Spatula is capable of. Ready to show 'em, buddy? [all the spatulas go into hiding] Oh, it's okay. No need to be shy. It's always tough the first day on the job. [scene cuts to outside the kitchen]

Wobbles: Uh, can I get one Krabby Patty, please?

Squidward: SpongeBob, I need one Krabby Patty.

SpongeBob: [back in the kitchen] One Krabby Patty, coming up lickety split. [tries to use Le Spatula, but every time he tries to flip the patty, the spatula goes another direction] Spat, is there something wrong, pal?

Le Spatula: I would not dare touch such slop as this, how you say, Krabby Patty! I am designed for the utmost in culinary cuisine. No less!

SpongeBob: But, but, I thought we were friends.

Le Spatula: Friends with you?! Ha! We are not even in the same social class. [jumps out of SpongeBob's arms and extends it legs to land on the floor] Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook! [runs out laughing]

SpongeBob: Le Spatula, wait! I gave up everything for you! We had something! [Le Spatula punches SpongeBob in the face]

Le Spatula: How's that for something? Au revoir, peasants! Have fun laboring in your greasy spoon! [spits and runs out]

Mr. Krabs: What happened?

SpongeBob: Le Spatula's gone, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: But how are you gonna flip Krabby Patties without a spatular?!

SpongeBob: I had a spatula once. A real spatula. One that stood by me through thick and thin, through grease and gristle, and I betrayed his loyalty, like a fool!

Mr. Krabs: I always did like your old spatular. He got the job done right every time.

SpongeBob: [gasps] You're right, Mr. Krabs. The true measure of a good spatula is by his actions. Not by some fancy chrome and buttons. I gotta find my old spatula.

Mr. Krabs: Go to em. Go now, boy! Go before I lose all me customers! [starts to cry; scene cuts to the spatula's hospital bed from the start of the episode, with the pulse meter slowing, then becomes a flat line]

SpongeBob: Spatula? It can't be true. It's too late! [cries]

Doctor: SpongeBob, I, I hate to tell you this...

SpongeBob: I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. He's gone! [sobs]

Doctor: Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.

SpongeBob: Oh, I'm so sorry. [cries more]

Doctor: Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary. [scene pans over to the Infirmary where the real Spat is in white robe with a wheelchair]

SpongeBob: [gasps] Spatula! [runs into the infirmary] Old buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better! [Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob] Spatula, what's wrong? [spatula shakes its head] But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr. Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby Patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness! I'm sorry! Oh, what have I done?! What have I done?! [begins to burst into tears loudly and rolls. As he is doing this, another SpongeBob comes up into the scene]

Other SpongeBob: [in a monotone voice] All that glitters is not gold. [lowers out of the scene; as SpongeBob is still crying loudly, spatula wheels itself away]

SpongeBob: Goodbye, best friend! [SpongeBob crawls crying all the way to the Krusty Krab kitchen] I'll never find another spatula like him again. [notices a spatula flipping patties by itself] Spatula? You're back! [SpongeBob jumps for spatula in slow motion, camera cuts to outer space] Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us.

Squidward: One Monster Krabby Patty. [the same real set of hands put a bunch of meat on the grill as before]

SpongeBob: Okay, buddy, we can do this. Ready? 1, 2, 3. [SpongeBob's arms come off] D'oh! [laughs to the viewers. The camera then goes outside of the Krusty Krab and then reaches its end.]