[The episode begins with an opening shot of SpongeBob's house]

SpongeBob: [squeezes some shell wax onto Gary's shell] Okay, Gary, ready for your yearly shell waxing?

Gary: Meow. [SpongeBob grabs his nose and uses his back to wax Gary's shell. After he is done, the back of him is burnt off]

SpongeBob: Just look at that shine! Now let's check under the hood. [opens Gary's shell and jumps in. The scene cuts to the inside of Gary's shell] Geez, Gary, this place is a real snail-sty.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Still? From New Year's Eve? [Gary blows a party popper. SpongeBob sees something in his shell] What?! I've been looking everywhere for this, Gary. [laughs; holds up a shirt that says I <3 Krabby Patties] My favorite novelty t-shirt! [Doorbell rings] Ooh, someone's here! [jumps out of Gary's shell]

Mailman: Special delivery for SpongeBob SquarePants.

SpongeBob: Special delivery? Just for me? You think I'm... special? [hugs the mailman and cries]

Mailman: [pushes SpongeBob back] Alright, do we have to go through this every time I give you your mail? Sheesh. [leaves]

SpongeBob: What could it be today, Gary?

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: [opens package] A videotape? [reads it] "You're a winner -- SpongeBob SquarePants." I'm SpongeBob SquarePants! [inserts videotape into VCR. Videotape plays]

Announcer: Karate Island: A serene and exotic location where nature and beauty abound, and hundreds of fighting styles collide in a wave of non-stop, pulsating, no-hold barred action! For centuries, the world's top karate artists have journeyed to this land to be crowned King of Karate.

SpongeBob: King... of Karate?

Announcer: Now it's your turn...

Announcer 2: ...SpongeBob SquarePants.

Announcer: You've won an all-expense paid trip to Karate Island! Hi-yah! Where you'll be crowned this year's King of Karate!

SpongeBob: Ooh... Did you hear that, Gary? I'm gonna be crowned... [shouts karate yells while doing karate moves] King of Karate! [jumps to the door, leaving his arm in the ground] Whoo-hoo! [shouts karate yells while running around in a circle]

Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Hello, Sandy. Have you heard the news? I've been invited to Karate Island to be crowned the king of karate.

Sandy: Karate Island? I've never heard of Karate Island.

SpongeBob: Oh, sure, Sandy, all the big karate experts go there.

Sandy: But, my karate is better than yours by a country mile, and I've never been invited.

SpongeBob: Maybe your karate was the best, but now they've recognized a new number one.

Sandy: There's something rotten in the Alamo. I'd better tag along with you and see if it's on the up-and-up.

SpongeBob: All right, Sandy, you can come with me to witness my crowning moment. [laughs. Scene bubble transitions to both in a boat heading towards Karate Island] Are we there yet?

Sandy: Yup. That's it over there.

SpongeBob: What make you think that's Karate Island? [big sign that says "Welcome to Karate Island" is pointing at the island]

Sandy: I don't know, lucky guess? [three fish are waiting on top of some rocks for SpongeBob. SpongeBob and Sandy arrive on the island]

SpongeBob: Hello there, the King of Karate has arrived.

Fish: Welcome to my island, SpongeBob-san. [bows]

SpongeBob: Oh, thank you. [laughs and bows]

Master Udon: I am Master Udon.

Sandy: Howdy, Master Udon, Sandy Cheeks. I do a little karate myself.

SpongeBob: [shakes Master Udon's hand] Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. Mr. Udon isn't interested in a karate novice like you. He only has time for royalty.

Sandy: Oh, brother.

Master Udon: Please, show me some of your moves, Master SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: You hear that, Sandy? He called me "master." Bring on your best fighters! I'll try to go easy on 'em. [three fighters appear]

Sandy: SpongeBob, your karate's not good enough to handle those sidewinders.

SpongeBob: Pa-shaw! Watch and learn, sister. [shouts karate yells at the first fighter. The fighter falls to the ground] Yup. That's how the King of Karate does it. Who's next?

Sandy: Something smells like rancid rodeo around here. [all the fighters are knocked out]

Master Udon: Excellent. Truly, you are King of Karate.

SpongeBob: The one and only.

Master Udon: We must make ready for your coronation.

SpongeBob: I'm ready to be King of Karate! [gong sounds; curtains open up to reveal a throne]

Master Udon: King of Karate-san, it is time for you to take your rightful place on your throne.

SpongeBob: My throne. [floats over to the throne]

Sandy: All right, Udon, I'm on to you. This place is as crooked as a dizzy sidewinder.

SpongeBob: [sitting on his throne] Come, Sandy, take your place next to the king and share in my crowning achievement. [claps twice] Bring a seat for my air-breathing friend. [a fish comes in, struggles to make the lawn chair, and sets it down. Sandy sits in it]

Sandy: SpongeBob, y'all are getting a bit wily.

SpongeBob: Oh, do I detect a note of jealousy, Sandy?

Sandy: Heck, I could karate you into a country fiddle with one paw tied behind my back.

SpongeBob: [laughs] But who's being crowned King of Karate? Not you.

Sandy: I'm getting off this crazy train! [mumbles]

Master Udon: Master, don't worry about her. She is missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. [laughs] Let the coronation begin!

SpongeBob: Sandy's going to miss out, big time. [suddenly SpongeBob is chained down to the throne. Master Udon reaches into his robe and takes out a pen]

Sandy: That dang SpongeBob. Who does he think he is? I taught that yellow egomaniac everything he knows about fighting, and that ain't much.

SpongeBob: No!

Sandy: SpongeBob's in trouble! [SpongeBob screams] SpongeBob is the "King of Karate." He doesn't need me. Eh, he can handle this himself.

SpongeBob: [in the distance] Sandy! I need you! I can't handle this myself!

Sandy: Hold on, buddy! [enters a building where Master Udon is watching from above]

SpongeBob: No! Sandy!

Master Udon: She will never reach you. She must first pass through the "Four Floors of Fear."

Sandy: [enters first room] SpongeBob?

The Tickler: Ha. Ha-ha-ha. You cannot pass unless you defeat me, The Tickler, and my iron-finger style. Ha-ha. [both get ready then attack] Ha-ha. Look!

Sandy: Huh? [laughs as she is being tickled]

The Tickler: Prepare for the tickling of your life!

Sandy: [has a plate full of jelly-filled donuts] Taste these!

The Tickler: Oh no! Jelly-filled donuts? How did you know they were my weakness?

Sandy: No one can resist jelly-filled. [throws the donuts into The Tickler's mouth while making karate noises] Sticky around, I'll be back with the glazed.

The Tickler: I could use a wet napkin.

Sandy: [enters floor two] All right, who's next?

Lipp Cervas: Halt! No one advances past me, Lipp Cervas, and my power-flexi dynamo-lip thruster style. [attacks Sandy with her lips]

Lipp Cervas: Dance, squirrel, dance. [her lips send Sandy backwards; laughs]

Sandy: Advanced [pulls out a hair-dryer] hair-dryer style!

Lipp Cervas: [laughs] What do you expect to do with that? [Sandy uses the hair-dryer to blow air on Lip Service’s lips, making them chapped] Oh, no! Not chapped lips, oh! [takes out some lip balm and then applies some, but it breaks her lips entirely]

Sandy: [blows into the air-dryer] That's enough lip out of you. [Lipp Cervas tries to put her lips back on, but they fall off. Sandy enters the third floor, but slips on her way in because it's covered in mud. She slides into a fat green fish]

Filthy Phil: No one has ever made it to the lair of Filthy Phil. No one passes except me. Now, feel the steam of my horrible body odor. [strains to get body odor out. The body odor tries to get into Sandy's helmet, but only taps on it]

Sandy: Ha-ha, Phil! Your foul stench can't permeate my fresh-air dome.

Filthy Phil: Fresh-air dome? [inhales his own body odor] Man, I really do stink. [passes out. Sandy jumps over Phil and breaks through some boards to enter floor four where Master Udon is]

Master Udon: You are one impressive squirrel. You even made a costume change.

Sandy: Release SpongeBob!

Master Udon: Never. [as Sandy is going to attack, she is trapped in a bird cage. She strains to break through, but she can't] He is forbidden to leave, until... he signs this contract.

Sandy: What are you talking about?

Master Udon: Real estate.

Sandy: You mean this whole thing was a scam to get us to buy real estate?

Master Udon: Yes. If there was a real Karate Island, I'd be a millionaire.

SpongeBob: You mean I'm not King of Karate?

Master Udon: No. But you could be King of Condos. Here, let me explain. It's really quite simple. [pulls down chart] See, if you invest in a time share here on Condo Island, you can see your equity increase ten-fold. [Sandy looks confused] Perhaps you and your yellow friend would like to set up a timeshare plan?

SpongeBob: Don't do it, Sandy!

Sandy: [chants something, then breaks the bird cage] I won't give in to your timeshare vacation scam!

Master Udon: Then give into my fists. [rips off robe and exposes his speedo and to show a more buff Master Udon. Sandy does the same by ripping off her jumpsuit then exposing her bikini to reveal a buff Sandy. Both flex their bodies, starting with muscles like Sandy's tail along with Master Udon's eyebrows, then their chests, arms, and legs. Sandy does a karate yell, and Master Udon roars like a lion, they then turn back to normal and fight. They miss each other from charging. Master Udon turns back to get her. Sandy jumps on top of Master Udon's head, then slaps him with her feet. Master Udon then grabs Sandy by her ankles then spins her around and throws her into the wall. Sandy retaliates by springing of the wall and landing in front of Master Udon. They karate chop some more before Sandy grabs him and throws him on the ground over and over. She then throws him in the air and kicks him in the face in slow-motion, knocking out some of his teeth and sending him outside of the tower and falling into the ocean]

Sandy: You're in the soup now, Udon! [SpongeBob walks to Sandy from the chair, and Sandy smiles at him. scene cuts to SpongeBob and Sandy walking toward their boat]

SpongeBob: Sandy, I'm sorry I acted like a jerk back there. Thanks for saving me from... [swallows hard] buying a condo.

Sandy: Aw, shucks, SpongeBob, that's what friends are for.

SpongeBob: I still have one question, though. Does this mean I'm not King of Karate anymore?

Sandy: You are in my book, SpongeBob. You are in my book. Now let me tell you about real estate. It's all about location... [boat drives off as another boat, carrying Squidward, arrives]

Squidward: I'm here! The King of Clarinets has arrived! [Master Udon is waiting on top of the rocks again]