[SpongeBob and Patrick are running through Jellyfish
Fields laughing and trying to capture jellyfish.]
Patrick: [pokes SpongeBob] You're it! [both laugh]
SpongeBob: [pokes Patrick] You're it! [both laugh.
Patrick runs off] Wait, Pat, you're it! [notices a sign a few yards away and
yelps. Patrick laughs, not paying attention] The sign!
Patrick: Huh? [tries to read it as he is running]
Duuhh... aaann... ger... [crashes through the sign and falls off the cliff]
cliff!
SpongeBob: Patrick! [runs down the cliff to Patrick]
Let me help you out of there, buddy! [grabs a starfish shaped head out of the
ground. When he notices it's just a head, he screams] Is the rest of you down
there?
Patrick: [walks up to SpongeBob with no head attached
to his body] The rest of me is up here.
SpongeBob: Whew, you had me worried there, buddy.
[laughs] Here's your head. [attaches the head onto Patrick and laughs. Picture
of inside Patrick's head shows a plug plugging into an outlet. Gears and cranks
start up. Patrick gets a spark or two from his head]
Patrick: I find all this laughter to be highly
illogical.
SpongeBob: Well, let's stop laughin' and let's start
fishin'! [takes out two jellyfish nets. Hands a net to Patrick] Go ahead, you
get first crack.
Patrick: [jellyfish floats by] Look at them. These
graceful stoic creatures of the deep.
SpongeBob: Huh? Those are some big words, Pat. I've
never heard you use them before.
Patrick: Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely
expanding.
SpongeBob: Well, let's expand our jellyfish nets!
C'mon, Patrick! [captures a jellyfish] Look, buddy, I captured one!
Patrick: Yes... [shows SpongeBob a notebook with a
Leonardo Da Vinci-style jellyfish drawn] I captured one as well without
disturbing its delicate ecosystem. It is wrong to harness nature in such a
barbaric manner. [frees the jellyfish from SpongeBob's net]
SpongeBob: Okay...what do you wanna do?
Patrick: Let us go off and admire the beauty and
fragility of nature.
SpongeBob: Pretty.
Patrick: Yes, quite.
SpongeBob: Fragile.
Patrick: Indeed.
SpongeBob: [jumps at Patrick three times] C'mon,
Patrick, let's do something fun!
Patrick: Oh, you want to run some statistics or
observe phenomenon and render hypothesis of said phenomenon?
SpongeBob: I was thinking more like jumping rope,
[jumps rope with his arms] 1-legged races [one leg goes inside his body and he
hops on his remaining leg], or playing duck-duck-hermit crab. [jumps into a
hermit-crab shell and blows bubbles]
Patrick: Doesn't feel like fun.
SpongeBob: [pops out of the shell] How about some
jokes? [Patrick sighs] Patrick, what's the difference between a guitar and a
jellyfish?
Patrick: You can't strum a jellyfish.
SpongeBob: Yes! [laughs. Patrick grabs a jellyfish and
strums its tentacles]
Patrick: Oh my, look at the time. I really must be
going. [walks off]
SpongeBob: What's wrong with Patrick? I sure hope he
gets better soon. [at Patrick's house where Patrick is doing some scientific
work] Are you better, Pat? Uhh, whatcha doing?
Patrick: Just studying this amazing subspecies.
Plankton: [through a microscope] I'll show you
subspecies!
SpongeBob: Wanna visit Squidward?
Patrick: Well, since I am finished with my work, I'll
humor you with your trivial pursuits. [now at Squidward's house where Squidward
is playing his clarinet. He hears SpongeBob and Patrick come in and prepares to
yell at them] I'd recognize that piece anywhere! Cornelius Pufferfish's Opus
67, "Symphony in Blue."
Squidward: [very confused] Patrick?
Patrick: It's a beautiful piece. Execution needs some
work. [walks over to the piano] May I suggest on the 7th bar of the adagio
andante that you add a little fortissimo on the arpeggiated b-flat scale.
Squidward: Wow! I never thought to do it like that.
Patrick: Well, that is because you rarely think.
SpongeBob: How do you know so much about music?
Patrick: A creative outlet provides a spiritual
release and helps facilitate a healthy mental balance. [inhales] Ah.
SpongeBob: Does that include... [burps] belch-talk-ing?
Patrick: [waving his hand in front of his face] Mr.
SquarePants, I find your humor vulgar.
Squidward: I had no idea you were so knowledgeable,
Patrick! Do you think you can be my musical mentor?
SpongeBob: Uhh, guys? [notices Patrick teaching Squidward]
Patrick: Let's take it from the top. [Squidward plays,
badly] Not so excellent, Squidward. Let me demonstrate the proper technique.
[looks at clarinet with spit covered all over the mouth piece] On second
thought, practice makes perfect. Let's begin. [SpongeBob comes up playing his
musical nose as a flute] Thank you, my good chap. Unfortunately, this is a solo
piece for clarinet only. And 1, 2, 3, 4... [Squidward plays more. SpongeBob
frowns and walks out. Patrick covers his ears since Squidward's playing is
still terrible] Stop! Enough! [walks out] Find yourself a new mentor!
SpongeBob: Now that you have some free-time, let's get
some grub.
Patrick: No, SpongeBob, I'm afraid not.
SpongeBob: Well, I have a brand new bottle of
super-bubbly bubble soap! [blows a bubble that pops on Patrick's face]
Patrick: [wiping his face] No, thanks again.
SpongeBob: Well, maybe later we can play pirates.
Patrick: Robert, my dear, it's no use. We've just
grown apart.
SpongeBob: What? What do you mean?
Patrick: I know we've had fun in the past, but we're
just not compatible anymore. It's time we went our separate ways...such is
life.
SpongeBob: [starting to cry] But Patrick, you're my
best friend!
Patrick: I know it's hard, but brace up, chap.
SpongeBob: Yeah.
Patrick: Maybe our paths will cross again someday.
Think fondly of me, Mr. SquarePants.
SpongeBob: Goodbye... Mr... Best friend! [sobs. At
Sandy's treedome, SpongeBob rings her doorbell] Sandy, you there? I need some
professional help. [Sandy and Patrick are heard laughing inside] Patrick?
Sandy: Well, Pat, the new you gets an A+.
Patrick: Why, thank you, Sandra. I find your intellect
rather stimulating as well.
Sandy: Oh, really? Well, thanks. [SpongeBob cries then
walks away from the treedome, at a chalkboard, there's an equation on it] Well,
Patrick, what do you think about this problem?
Patrick: [changes formula] You simply change the
literal term to a coefficient and the minuend will achieve the desired
quotient. Even the simplest of mammals can figure it out with a little thought.
Sandy: [angrily puts her hands on her hips] What do
you mean by that, Patrick?
Patrick: I'm merely suggesting you lack the ability to
solve remedial equations.
Sandy: Are you suggesting I'm dumb?
Patrick: I'd use a more sophisticated word like
'impaired'.
Sandy: I think you'd better leave.
Patrick: I was only trying to help. [walks off]
Sandy: I don't need your kind of help, Mr.
know-it-all! I liked you better when you were a barnacle head!
SpongeBob: [sitting on his chair at home, crying] I
never thought I'd lose my best friend. How can I compete with geniusness?
Ohhhhhh!
Patrick: [sitting on his chair at home] Surrounded by
knowledge and no one to share it with. No one I can call friend. Who's that old
chap I used to run with? [notices a book on the table next to him called 'MY
FRIEND SPONGEBOB'] SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: [looks at his 'MY FRIEND PATRICK' book]
Well, at least Patrick's my friend in my memories. [SpongeBob looks at several
pictures of him and Patrick together, as SpongeBob begins to cry another
picture is shown, it's revealed that Patrick is the one who put a tear on the
last picture]
Patrick: Aww, the glory days. Why have we grown apart?
I must apply all that I know to solve this problem! [looks at x-rays of him and
SpongeBob's head, meditates on top of his rock, studies Squidward, reads a
book. He puts the book down and shows his bloodshot eyes] What could it be?
[applies a chemical on his head and grows hair] What's different? Ah! [tears
out his hair] What?! I'd do anything to have my old buddy back by my side
again!
SpongeBob: [doorbell rings] Coming... [opens door and
gets kidnapped in a jellyfish net. Patrick is shown carrying the net over his
shoulder with SpongeBob inside. SpongeBob pops out happily] Patrick, you're
kidnapping me?
Patrick: Yes, I am.
SpongeBob: Yay! [jumps out of the net and writes
"Yippie" in the air with bubble soap] What should we do?
Patrick: We are going to have fun, whatever the cost
may be.
SpongeBob: Let's do this.
Patrick: Yes, let's have some fun.
SpongeBob: [jumping around] Oh, yeah!
Patrick: [jumping around] Oh, absolutely! [now riding
on a shell down a mountain] Are you quite sure I found this activity to be fun?
SpongeBob: Yeah! [screams with enjoyment. Shell lunges
them into the sand] That was fun, huh Patrick?
Patrick: [Swallows a mouth-full of sand] When did the
fun go away, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: It went away when you jumped off that cliff
and knocked your head clean off.
Patrick: That's it! [runs off]
SpongeBob: That's what? Patrick, what are you doing?
Patrick: I'm going to duplicate my actions from that
day to ascertain the origin of my cha...an...nge! [falls off the cliff]
SpongeBob: Patrick! Hold on, buddy! [takes Patrick out
of the ground] There ya go. [notices he has no head and screams] Don't worry,
Patrick. I found your head last time, I'll find it again! [searches around some
coral] Not back there. [checks under a rock] Not under here. What if I can't
find it? Oh, poor headless Patrick! [turns around and runs into Patrick making
his head pop out] Patrick, your head is back! But, uhh, do you feel different?
Patrick: Quite unchanged, actually.
SpongeBob: I guess we'll never have fun together
again.
Patrick: You said you found my dislodged cranial cap
last time.
SpongeBob: Yes.
Patrick: Where exactly did you find it?
SpongeBob: Uhh, it was right here.
Patrick: Hmmm, impossible! If I landed here, the
trajectory of my dismembered skull would cause it to come to rest, not there,
but here, exactly five meters due north.
SpongeBob: But if that's your head, then what did I
pick up over... [sign says 'Brain Coral Field'] Brain Coral! No wonder you got
so smart, buddy. [blows off the Poison Sea Urchins off Patrick's head] Here you
go, Patrick, your old head. Are you sure you want to give up being smart and
"phosisticated" to be my friend again?
Patrick: Knowledge can never replace friendship. I
prefer to be an idiot!
SpongeBob: Not just an idiot, Patrick. You're also my
pal. [Patrick takes off his coral head and SpongeBob puts his old one back on]
Patrick? Say something, Patrick.
Patrick: [burps] Hi, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Patrick, you're back!
Patrick: Patrick, you're back. [both laugh, then pull out their jellyfish nets, make oo-loo-loo sounds, and run off into the sunset]