[Squidward is sleeping until SpongeBob knocks on the
door causing him to wake up.]
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward!
Squidward: [opens his window] What do you want,
SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Time for work, Squidward. Another day, another
dollar. [laughs]
Squidward: More like another nickel.
SpongeBob: [laughs] Good one, Squidward! [scene cuts
to Squidward and SpongeBob walking down the street and SpongeBob is laughing]
Another day, another nickel. [laughs]
Squidward: It's not that funny.
SpongeBob: It's funny, because it's true! [laughs.
SpongeBob clings on to Squidward's legs as they walk into the Krusty Krab]
Squidward: Move over. [flicks SpongeBob off his legs
and into the kitchen]
SpongeBob: [peeks through the kitchen window] Nickel.
[laughs]
Squidward: [brings food tray over to a customer]
Here's your food. [SpongeBob is laughing behind him] It's not that funny!
[slams tray down] Please make it stop! [SpongeBob is running into the kitchen
then out of Mr. Krabs office still laughing. Scene zooms into Squidward with a
bunch of SpongeBobs laughing around his head. Scene cuts to Squidward flipping
the 'OPEN' sign to 'CLOSED' then walking out of the Krusty Krab with SpongeBob
still laughing. Squidward enters his house then shuts the door in SpongeBob's
face]
SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward, see you tomorrow. [laughs.
Scene cuts to morning at the Krusty Krab]
Customer #1: And always check for spare change.
SpongeBob: Another day, another...nickel! [brings food
to customer] 2 Krabby Patties.
Customer #2: Thanks, kid.
SpongeBob: Another day, another nickel.
Customer #2: Oh. [all 3 of them laugh]
Squidward: Begone, laughing tormentor! [SpongeBob
continues to laugh but every few seconds, he gets an ache in his side and
Squidward takes notice of this] This could be my chance. [enters kitchen]
SpongeBob, you don't look well!
SpongeBob: I don't?
Squidward: No. You should sit down.
SpongeBob: But...
Squidward: [sticks a cooking thermometer in
SpongeBob's mouth] Shh, shh, shh. [feels his forehead] You're burning up,
SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: I am?
Squidward: Tell me, SpongeBob, have your sides been
hurting?
SpongeBob: Yeah, a little.
Squidward: And your temperature is 175 degrees!
SpongeBob: It's that bad?
Squidward: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Unless you've
been doing a lot of laughing.
SpongeBob: I have been laughing a lot, lately.
Squidward: [gasps] SpongeBob, you've got to be
careful! You're going to burn out your laugh box.
SpongeBob: My laugh box?
Squidward: Yes, it's the part of your body that
enables laughter. If you use it too long without giving it a break, it burns
out and you can never laugh again.
SpongeBob: Is that what happened to you, Squidward?
Squidward: Yes. What? No! Listen, SpongeBob, this is
serious. If you burn your laugh box you live your whole life without ever
laughing again. [scene fades to Sandy walking up to Patrick]
Sandy: Hey, Patrick, you want to hear a joke?
Patrick: Sure, Sandy.
SpongeBob: [in a lung capacity machine] Sure, I'd love
a good laugh.
Sandy: What has four wheels and flies? A garbage
truck! [Sandy and Patrick laugh normally while SpongeBob's laugh is robotic.
Sandy and Patrick giggle nervously and backs away slowly]
SpongeBob: I don't want to burn out my laugh box,
Squidward.
Squidward: Well, the most important thing is to stop
laughing. Any laugh at all could be dangerous.
SpongeBob: How long do I have to avoid laughing?
Squidward: Gosh, SpongeBob, I'd say at least for the
rest of the day. But you better go 24 hours just to be safe.
SpongeBob: Thank you so much, Squidward! I don't know
what I'd do without you! [later SpongeBob is walking out of the Krusty Krab] A
day without laughter is a small price to pay to save my laugh box from utter
destruction. I must remain vigilant. [looks over to his right] Nothing funny
over there. [looks over to his left] Nothing funny over here.
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, how's it going?
SpongeBob: [notices banana peel in front of Patrick on
the ground] Patrick, banana peel, don't!
Patrick: What'd you say? [slips on banana peel]
SpongeBob: Oh, no. [stifles laughter]
Patrick: Hey, what the... [slips on banana peel again]
SpongeBob: Wait a minute, Patrick! [Patrick slips on
the banana peel again] Please stop!
Patrick: Right foot first...
SpongeBob: Wait, Patrick, I can't laugh.
Patrick: You can't? Oh, I know what to do! [flaps his
lips and SpongeBob runs away] That usually knocks him out. [continues flapping
his lips then slips on the banana peel again]
SpongeBob: [runs behind a building] Get a grip on
yourself, SpongeBob. You're in control. [steps on a whoopee cushion] Just back
away from the whoopee cushion, SpongeBob. [steps on another whoopee cushion. He
gasps] They're everywhere. Everywhere!
Delivery Fish: Look out for that pie truck! [pie truck
crashes into the whoopee cushion truck. SpongeBob laughs a little as the big
pie on top of the truck falls on the driver]
SpongeBob: I gotta get outta here. [runs out of the
Bikini Bottom city limits] There's nothing funny up here. But just to be
safe... [digs himself a hole to bury himself in. He gets in. Now only his nose
is seen. He stays there as the day turns to night, then it is morning and a
clam crows like a rooster] Ah, I made it 24 hours without laughing. [tries to
laugh, but wheezes instead] That's odd. [wheezes again, with a weird deflating
sound] I've lost my laugh. [screams and runs back into Bikini Bottom] I've lost
my laugh! [screams again, then knocks on Patrick's rock]
Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: It's terrible, Patrick. I can't laugh
anymore!
Patrick: What happened?
SpongeBob: I went a whole day without laughing and now
my laugh is gone.
Patrick: Let me take a look. [inserts his head into
SpongeBob's mouth] Hmmm, it's dark in here. I better light a match. [lights a
match. Smoke fills SpongeBob and Patrick can't get him off his head so he runs
around screaming. Later, at the Krusty Krab]
Mr. Krabs: Come in.
SpongeBob: [sniffling] Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: What's wrong, boy?
SpongeBob: I lost my laugh. (Sadly deflates)
Mr. Krabs: You've come to the right place, son. Ya
know, there's one thing that always makes me laugh. [both look at money but
only Mr. Krabs laughs] Don't it just tickle you, boy?
SpongeBob: Not really.
Mr. Krabs: This calls for drastic measures. I don't
usually do this but you seem desperate. touch it.
SpongeBob: [touches money] Nothing.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, this is worse than I thought. After
all, money is the ultimate source of joy.
SpongeBob: Maybe I should ask Sandy. She's a
scientist. [later at Sandy's treedome]
Sandy: Oh, it's easy if you approach it
scientifically, SpongeBob. Now, what is laughter?
SpongeBob: The thing that used to give my life meaning
and purpose, but now mocks me with its cruel indifference.
Sandy: [pulls down a chart of the body] But
scientifically speaking, it's caused by your epiglottis constricting your
larynx causing irregular air intake and respiratory upset.
SpongeBob: Sounds painful.
Sandy: Science makes everything sound painful, SpongeBob.
[hands SpongeBob a bunch of books] Now, here's a humor theory textbook, laugh
mechanics, and the quantum giggle theory.
SpongeBob: Thank you, Sandy.
Squidward: Ah, it sure is peaceful around here since
SquarePants became a sad sack.
SpongeBob: I read all the books and still nothing. I
guess I'll never laugh again. [moans and groans into his pineapple]
Squidward: I really hate to see the little guy sad but
not as much as I hate to see him happy. [laughs]
French Narrator: [reading timecard] Later that same
evening...
Squidward: [is playing clarinet when he hears
SpongeBob bawling his eyes out, meaning more noise than ever] I think I found
the one thing I hate more than his laugh. I'm sure he'll cry himself out soon.
[SpongeBob cries tears on the side of Squidward's house and night turns into
day as Squidward's house plugs up its ears] What have I done? [SpongeBob cries
a river into Squidward's house causing it to flood him outside] Oh, that's it!
This charade has to end. [realizes his feet are underwater and walks to
SpongeBob's house. He knocks on SpongeBob's door and lots of tears come out]
SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward.
Squidward: SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to
stop!
SpongeBob: But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box!
[sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward's face. Squidward puts his tentacles
over SpongeBob's eyes, stopping the tears]
Squidward: SpongeBob, there's no such thing as a laugh
box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter!
SpongeBob: You mean...my laugh box isn't broken? And
it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiraling depression?
Squidward: [taken aback by the revelation] Uhh, well
it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.
SpongeBob: I could laugh the whole time?
Squidward: Yeah. [both laugh] You really fell for it.
SpongeBob: I guess I did.
Squidward: You even fell for the ol' thermometer in
the boiling oil routine. [laughs]
SpongeBob: [stops laughing] It's really not that
funny, Squidward.
Squidward: It's hilarious!
SpongeBob: See ya later, Squidward. [goes into his
house]
Squidward: [still laughing] Break your laugh box! What
a schlemiel. [his laughter turns to coughing as his sides started aching]
yahhhh! [Squidward inhales deeply and lets out a long cough, (thus losing his
laughter) and falls flat to the ground, while two paramedics come take him to
the hospital]
Patrick: Look, he's waking up.
Squidward: [groans] Where am I?
Sandy: You're in the hospital, silly. You broke your
laugh box.
Mr. Krabs: The doctor said it was the most tiny,
dried-out, underused laugh box he ever laid eyes on.
Patrick: So they cut it out.
Squidward: C- C- Cut it out?!
Patrick: Yeah, wanna see it? [holds up jar with
Squidward's laugh box in it] It's fun to shake it up and watch it bounce
around.
Squidward: [screams] Gimme! Oh. I can never laugh
again?
Doctor: Nonsense. Your laugh should be stronger than
ever.
Squidward: But, you cut out my laugh box.
Doctor: Yes, but uhh, one of your friends generously
allowed us to transplant part of theirs to you.
Patrick: Nope.
Mr. Krabs: They wouldn't pay me.
Sandy: You're getting warmer.
Squidward: [SpongeBob reveals a band-aid] SpongeBob?
[laughs like SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Hey, you laugh just like me. [both laugh. Squidward laughs too much so he runs through the wall] Ah, there he goes off to share his laugh with the world. [laughs]