[The episode starts inside the Krusty Krab, where Mr. Krabs is counting money at the register until he feels a rumble coming from outside.]

Mr. Krabs: Here they come, lads!

SpongeBob: Hooray!

Squidward: Fantastic. [crowd comes rushing in running over Squidward]

Mr. Krabs: Thank you very much, madam. [Mr. Krabs pushes the key to open the cash register over and over] I feel so alive! ♪Cha ching. Cha-ching. Cha-chingaree. Money, oh money, how I love thee. Cha-ching. Cha-chong. Cha-changaroo. From pennies to dollars. Any amount will do. Cha-ching. Cha-ching. It's no contest. There's only one thing that I love the best, from every sight I've ever seen, the sweetest sound I've heard. I'd gladly give up everything for all the money that I've earned! Cha-ching. Cha-ching. Cha-chingaring. There's nothin' on Earth like the feelin' of greed. There's nothin' on Earth... like the feelin' of greed!♪ [laughs loudly]

Squidward: Please don't do that again.

Howard: [walks in the Krusty Krab] I think the stain glass barstool can go over here. And the suede hand carved wooden sports flag display case can go over there.

Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there, matey. Can I help you gentlemen with somethin'?

Howard: I'd like to speak to the owner.

Mr. Krabs: Who wants to know?

Howard: Allow me to introduce myself. Howard Blandy: President of the Blandy Franchising Company.

Mr. Krabs: Howard Blandy? You mean the Howard Blandy? The Howard Blandy that masterminded the ruthless takeover of every small family owned business in Bikini Bottom? That Howard Blandy? [gets on his knees] I... worship you. [cries]

Howard: Get it together, little man.

Mr. Krabs: Sorry, it's just that... you're rich. [laughs] I'm Mr. Krabs. To what do I owe the honor of having you at the Krusty Krab, Howard?

Howard: [slaps Mr. Krabs' claw] What would it take to buy the Krusty Krab from you?

Mr. Krabs: Buy the Krusty Krab? It's not for sale. You know, I may not make as much as your fancy-schmancy-migger restaurant chain, but it's the blood, sweat and tears of a hard day's work. It's not about the mon... [suitcase full of money is shown to Mr. Krabs] Holy sweet mother of pearl! I like the way you think, Blandy. But it's gonna take a lot more than a suitcase full of cash to buy the Krusty Krab from me.

Howard: Oh, there's a lot more than that. The rest is over there. [points to a boat full of suitcases with money]

Mr. Krabs: Jumpin' King Neptune! [gulps] Sold. Can I have my money?

Howard: Just one thing. If you can sign this contract. It just states that you relinquish the Krusty Krab and all proprietary ownership thereof. Along with its employees, merchandise, logos, and cash registers.

Mr. Krabs: Do I still get the money?

Howard: Of course.

Mr. Krabs: That'll be fine then. [signs contract] Here you go. Now, gimme gimme gimme gimme. [holds suitcase up in the air] Whoo-ha! See ya around. [walks out of the Krusty Krab. Contractors and painters come in remodeling]

SpongeBob: What's happening? Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs, they're putting up pennants in the Krusty Krab. What's goin' on?

Mr. Krabs: I'm retirin'!

SpongeBob: Retiring?

Mr. Krabs: I'm free to do whatever I want. I can learn how to ride that bicycle I got 30 years ago. Or, go to the new hook museum downtown. Or even paint bowls of fruit. Aren't ya happy for me?

SpongeBob: I sure am.

Mr. Krabs: So long, boys.

SpongeBob: Have fun, Mr. Krabs. [cries]

Squidward: Heaven knows I won't.

Carl: Hi gentlemen, I'm Carl. I'll be your new manager.

SpongeBob: New manager?

Carl: I think you'll find working at the Krabby O'Monday's to be both a learning experience and an enjoyable one.

SpongeBob: Krabby O'Monday's?

Carl: [takes away their Krusty Krew hats] You won't need these anymore. [hands them new clothes] Now here are your new uniforms, and here are the... [hands them heavy books] employee manuals. See ya first thing tomorrow!

Mr. Krabs: [driving boat and smelling the air] Ahh... the sweet smell of a brand-new day. First stop: the new hook museum. Then maybe I'll... [sees the Krabby O'Monday's] Hey, the Krabby O'Monday's? Not the name I would've chosen... but that's all behind me now. [later, Mr. Krabs is at the Hook Museum listening to the story narrator about a 3 prong hook. Then he is at his home painting a bowl of fruit, which he actually paints a bowl of Krabby Patties. Then he is playing golf] Wait a minute. I hate golf! [now laying in his bed at home, sucking drool back into his mouth] Well, I've done everything I wanted to do. And it's not even noon.

Pearl: [on phone] Did you see the shoes she had on? So last year. [laughs. Notices her father in the doorway] Hold on, Gina. Yeah, Dad?

Mr. Krabs: How's it goin'?

Pearl: Fine.

Mr. Krabs: Whatcha up to?

Pearl: I'm talking on the phone!

Mr. Krabs: Oh, really?

Pearl: Really.

Mr. Krabs: Oh.

Pearl: Dad, isn't there something you need to do?!

Mr. Krabs: Well - actually, I was hopin' you and I could do somethin' together.

Pearl: [pushes him out] Get out! That's it, Dad. Get a job, get a hobby, or get some friends. Because I can't take it anymore! [slams the door offscreen]

Mr. Krabs: [using metal detector on the beach] Get some friends she says. Find a hobby she says. Get a job she says... [runs into a window with a 'Help Wanted' sign] Help wanted. Hm. [walks into the Krabby O'Monday's]

Squidward: Ahoy there, mateys. Welcome to the Krabby O'Monday's.

Incidental 151: It's my birthday.

Squidward: Can I start you off with...

Incidental 48: Will you sing the Krabby Monday's birthday song to my special little man?

Squidward: Happy, happy birthday. [sighs, as the family frowns in disgust] Happy, happy bir...

Carl: Uhh, Squidward... can I talk to you for a second? What's our motto here at Krabby O'Monday's?

Squidward: Sincere service with a smile?

Carl: [chuckling] Well, yes, but with the Krabby O'Monday's spirit. Now Squidward, you wouldn't wanna have to talk to human resources... [points to the door to Human Resources. A big strong guy slowly slides out of the Human Resources doorway, punching his fist in his open hand, menacingly] ...would you? So, what's our motto again?

Squidward: [nervously] Um... uh... S-Sincere service... [slaps self; forcefully smiling and dancing] with a smile! [he draws his eyes back to the big strong guy who slowly goes back into the room]

Carl: Now you're gettin' it.

[Squidward walks off while keeping an eye on Carl]

Mr. Krabs: [in kitchen cleaning dishes] Mornin', SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! What are you doing here?!

Mr. Krabs: Retirement ain't all it's cracked up to be. So, I'm the new bus boy. [whistles as he sees SpongeBob with a big grin] Uhh, okay son. You're startin' to creep me out.

SpongeBob: [clings to Mr. Krabs] I knew you'd come back, Mr. Krabs, I just knew you would!

Mr. Krabs: Okay boy, back to work.

SpongeBob: Aye aye, sir.

Mr. Krabs: I'm not your boss anymore. Just call me Eugene.

SpongeBob: Aye aye... Eugene. [giggles, while Mr. Krabs makes a weird look]

Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, Squidward.

Squidward: Ahoy, Eugene! Would you mind clearing this table for me?

Mr. Krabs: Sure, Squidward. You know, I've never seen ya so happy.

Squidward: [looks at Carl with his teeth grinned] They're watching us.

Mr. Krabs: That guy's a real pain in the hindquarters, eh Squiddy? [laughs, as Carl looks suspicious]

Squidward: Uhh, Eugene, I think you need to look at page 20 of our employee handbook again.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, I don't need Carl's silly rules.

Squidward: I really think you should look. [pointing to a message]

Mr. Krabs: What's this? "Help... me".

Carl: Hey fellas, [Squidward's forced smile disappears for a second when he realizes that Carl is right behind him, but he reverts to the facade as he quickly slams the book closed] what's goin' on over here?

Squidward: Oh, hey Carl, uhh, I was just reminding Eugene of, uh, article 24 section 3 of the employee handbook.

Carl: Cut the chatter, and pick up a platter. [slaps him on the back] Good job, Squidward. [Squidward dashes off]

Mr. Krabs: What have you done with the real Squidward?

Carl: [walks backwards to the Human Resources office] The less you know, Eugene... the better. [closes the door]

Mr. Krabs: What's goin' on around here? Where's SpongeBob? [in the kitchen, Krabby Patties are being made in a different way through an oven and spray painted to make it look like a real Krabby Patty]

SpongeBob: [takes a Krabby Patty from the basket] Where's the love?

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What happened to the Krabby Patties?

SpongeBob: I tried to tell them... but they wouldn't listen to me!

Mr. Krabs: This is obscene. [walks out of the kitchen] Caaaarl! I need to have a word with...

Cash Register: Your change is $1.75.

Mr. Krabs: Automated cash register?! [screams as his pupils roll wildly in his eyestalks] Noooooooooo! Hey, Carl, what have ya done with me restaurant?! Processed Krabby Patties? Computerized registers?!

Carl: Look around you. Our customers are quite content with the contrived, and the mediocre. [customer falls asleep, snoring]

Mr. Krabs: That's because they don't know what they're eating. [grabs a pile of the gray sludge from the Krabby Patty making machine in the kitchen, then walks up to a customer] 'Scuse me, ma'am. Do you know what's in that Krabby Patty you're eatin'?

Incidental 63: No.

[Mr. Krabs shows her a pile of the gray sludge to emphasize his point. The customer gasps, screams at the sight of it and runs out]

Mr. Krabs: See that? Without all your smoke and mirrors, no one would stomach this garbage!

Incidental 42: What'd he say? Garbage?

[Customers notice what's in the Krabby Patties and everyone runs out. Mr. Krabs laughs as Carl takes out a book of rules, appears angry.]

Carl: [annoyed] Eugene, you're in violation of your contract.

Mr. Krabs: Rules! Here's a rule for ya: people can't eat stain glass barstools! [throws barstool into the big screen TV out of rage and takes the cash register to the kitchen] I'll show you automated! [runs off to the kitchen]

Carl: [calls on his walkie-talkie] Mr. Blandy? Code red! Free thinker!

[Mr. Krabs shoves the cash register in the Krabby Patty making machine]

Howard: Mr. Krabs, is there a problem here?

Mr. Krabs: You better believe there's a problem! I used to kiss the ground ya walked on, Blandy! But after seein' this, I wouldn't even spit in your direction! Krabby Patties are supposed to be made by hand, one at a time!

[Cut to the kitchen, where the Krabby Patty machine inflates and about to blow up. Cut back to Mr. Krabs.]

Mr. Krabs: Not on a conveyor belt!

[Krabby O'Monday's begins to shake and make sirens, as Mr. Krabs suddenly notices. Howard and his team suddenly stop, eyes blank. Gray sludge begins to leak out of the kitchen into the main room.]

Carl: Oh my...

[The garbage blows up from the kitchen and blows everybody away off the Krabby O'Monday's including the employees. The restaurant blows up and got destroyed. Carl was seen floating away.]

Carl: Does this mean I won't get that raise, sir?

Howard: [he looks at the restaurant which is destroyed by the gray meat] It's ruined!

Friend: We'll have to sell it. We'll be lucky if we get a fraction of what we paid for it. [Mr. Krabs drives up with boat full of suitcases]

Mr. Krabs: I'll buy it for full price!

Friend: Sold. We won't need your contract anymore. [rips off the contract] Nice doing business with you.

Mr. Krabs: Pleasure's all mine. Now get out of me restaurant. [laughs while Howard and his friends walk away sadly in humiliation, leaving SpongeBob and Squidward.] Well, we did it, boys. [puts the hats on them] The Krusty Krab is ours again. Ya know, in that fit of maniacal rage, I may have destroyed the restaurant, scared away all our customers, and forced us into bankruptcy because I returned nearly every penny I sold this stink heap for, but it was all worth it. And, I got back the love of me dear friends.

Squidward: Really, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: No, not really. Get back to work! [He hands them Spatula and the Mop. SpongeBob was glad while Squidward was annoyed, leaving Mr. Krabs, who now pushes the key to open the register and ends with dollar signs, ending the episode.]