[Evening at the Krusty Krab. Squidward switches the 'open' sign to 'closed.' He appears very optimistic.]

Squidward: Closing time. The happiest time of the day!

[Scene cuts to SpongeBob in the kitchen crying and sniffling]

SpongeBob: Closing time. [sniffles] The saddest time of the day! [falls on the ground still crying] Huh? [he notices an old Patty under the grill] It's a Krabby Patty. [SpongeBob tries to pick it up but it's stuck to some gum] Eww... It's cold and hard. [takes the Patty out from under the grill] This could have rolled under there years ago. [pats it on the head] There, there, little one, your journey is almost over. [SpongeBob tosses the Patty in the trash.]

[A siren goes off as a fishing line retrieves the patty]

Mr. Krabs: [runs in] What happened? [gasps then runs up to the trash can] Someone tried to throw away a patty! [takes it off the hook]

Pinch-o-matic: Pinch-o-matic has saved you 5.2 cents.

SpongeBob: But, Mr. Krabs, I found that under the grill.

Mr. Krabs: And tomorrow, a customer will find it under his bun. [hands it to SpongeBob]

SpongeBob: But it's old and cold. And so very full of mold.

Mr. Krabs: You're not to make another Patty until that one is sold. Understand?

French Narrator: The next day...

SpongeBob: Order up, Squidward. [puts the tray with the Foggy Patty on the window]

Squidward: [sarcastically] Hooray. [smells the Foggy Patty then flips the top bun off. Flies buzz around the stinking patty.] Uh... SpongeBob, can I get one with less... fog?

SpongeBob: Sorry, Squidward. Mr. Krabs' orders.

Squidward: Whatever. [he hands the tray to Gus] Here you are, sir. One Krabby Patty.

[Gus sniffs it. He screams with disgust and quickly back-flips his way out of the restaurant. Scene cuts to the Krusty crew standing by the door.]

Mr. Krabs: I don't understand! We haven't had a customer in weeks! I wonder if it's the new placemats?

Squidward: What? [splutters in frustration at Krabs' stupidity] Placemats?! Have you lost your mind? It's that old Patty you keep trying to sell to everybody! It's gone bad.

Mr. Krabs: Gone bad? That's nonsense! Bring it here, SpongeBob. [picks up the cage with the Patty inside it] Uh, why is it in a cage?

SpongeBob: Because it growled at me.

[Patty is now sentient and starts to growl and bark like some sort of dog. Squidward hides behind Mr. Krabs]

Mr. Krabs: You two would have never have lasted in the navy. Let's see how bad you are. [takes the Patty out of its cage but it still barks and growls in Mr. Krabs' face] No... no... [the Patty barks and growls some more] Stay... [throws a 'treat' into its mouth] Thatta girl! There, there. [He pats it gently] See? Good enough to eat. [about to eat it when an ambulance goes by] Oh, look, an ambulance. Now, then... [takes bite of the Patty]

[Scene suddenly cuts to him moaning, now green in color due to food poisoning, being rolled on a gurney, into a hospital]

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yes, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Make sure you wrap up that Patty. I'm not finished with it yet!

[Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs in a hospital bed]

Purple Doctorfish: Well, Mr. Krabs, you gave us quite the scare.

Mr. Krabs: So I'm gonna be okay, doc?

Purple Doctorfish: Well, if you don't want to take my word for it, let's just check your chart. [looks at the chart] Let's see here. Hmmm... oh, no! [starts to shake] Oh no, this is terrible! [drops the clipboard]

Mr. Krabs: Everything okay, doc?

Purple Doctorfish: Don't touch me! [runs out screaming]

Mr. Krabs: That's not a good sign.

[Thunder roars as the room turns into green. The Flying Dutchman appears. Mr. Krabs pulls his covers over his head, showing he's scared.]

Flying Dutchman: Har, har har har har har har har har har!

Mr. Krabs: Oh, no, it's the Flying Dutchman!

Flying Dutchman: Eugene Krabs, your time has come.

Mr. Krabs: I'm not Eugene Krabs, I'm, uhh, Harold. Harold, uhh... [looks at the flower vase next to him] Flower!

Flying Dutchman: Oh, sorry. I must have the wrong room. [flies out] Excuse me, nurse?

Nurse: [in a happy, musical tone] Yes?

Flying Dutchman: I'm looking for Eugene Krabs.

Nurse: Oh, he's in that room right there.

Flying Dutchman: No, that's Harold Flower's room.

Nurse: [confused] Harold Flower?

[Flying Dutchman quickly goes back to Mr. Krabs in anger]

Flying Dutchman: So, Krabs, you thought you could fool the Flying Dutchman?

Mr. Krabs: What do you want from me?

Flying Dutchman: I'm here to escort you to the resting place of all bad undersea folk: Davy Jones' locker!

Mr. Krabs: Davy Jones' locker?! Why do I have to go there? I'm not a bad crab!

Flying Dutchman: Ah, but you were cheap, and being cheap is a terrible thing. Next stop, Davy Jones' locker! [Evil laughs.]

[Scene cuts to Davy Jones' locker where Flying Dutchman and Mr. Krabs reappear.]

Flying Dutchman: Here we are.

Mr. Krabs: [smells something nasty] Blech! Why does it smell so foul?

Flying Dutchman: Davy Jones works out a lot. [opens the locker where a bunch of smelly gym socks are] These are his socks. Get in!

Mr. Krabs: [gets on his knees and starts crying] Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman, I don't wanna go in there! I'll do anything! Please, give me another chance!

Flying Dutchman: Come on, Krabs, show a little dignity.

Mr. Krabs: [Frantically] Mommy!

Flying Dutchman: Alright, alright, stop your crying. I'll give you another chance, but you must always be generous, never cheap.

Mr. Krabs: You have me word as a sailor.

[Scene cuts to the dilapidated Krusty Krab where a sign hangs over it that reads 'Out of Business']

Squidward: [looking through Mr. Krabs' desk drawers] Mr. Krabs' nose hair clippers. I could use these.

[SpongeBob is wearing his hat and holding his spatula, crying]

SpongeBob: Squidward, you shouldn't be going through Mr. Krabs' belongings. [sniffs] He won't like it!

Squidward: SpongeBob, I told you what the doctor said. Mr. Krabs isn't coming back. [Wears a stethoscope. Tries to open the safe, putting a stethoscope onto the safe to avoid suspicion.] Now, keep quiet so I can hear the tumblers in his safe.

[Mr. Krabs walks in]

Mr. Krabs: Hey, boys!

[SpongeBob screams with joy as Squidward sheepishly hides his stethoscope behind his back]

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I knew it! You're alive! [clings to Mr. Krabs happily] Squidward, look, it's Mr. Krabs! Isn't this too good to be true?

Squidward: [Deadpan] Well, it was.

Mr. Krabs: You know, boys, being sick made me do a lot of thinking. My whole life has been about money. Saving money, collecting money, [mimics being infatuated to money] touching money... [returns back to normal talking] Well, you get the picture. But no more. You're looking at the new, improved, non-cheap Mr. Krabs.

[Scene cuts to outside the Krusty Krab where a giant 'Grand Re-Opening' sign is hanging. 'Buy' and 'Free' signs are in the window]

Mr. Krabs: Welcome all, welcome!

[A little kid walks up to Mr. Krabs]

Mr. Krabs: Hello, little one. What you got there?

Monroe: A Krabby Patty.

Mr. Krabs: [laughs] Of course, you do! You know what that means, right?

Monroe: I don't go hungry?

Mr. Krabs: No, silly! It means free toy! [gives him a little toy]

Monroe: Gee, thanks Mr. Krabs. I thought you were a cheap, old tightwad.

Mr. Krabs: I was, son, I was. Free toys for everyone! And free refills!

[Everyone cheers. Mr. Krabs runs up to SpongeBob]

Mr. Krabs: Hello, boy! Say, where's Squidward?

SpongeBob: Oh, he's taking one of those break things in your office, I mean, the 'employee lounge'.

[Scene cuts to Squidward sleeping peacefully in a bed in Mr. Krabs' office. Back to the main room.]

Mr. Krabs: [Joyfully] Great!

Martha: Excuse me, but I dropped my Krabby Patty. Could I get another one?

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yes sir. [takes the patty and lifts the top bun where a disclaimer, written in ketchup form, is shown, and he reads it] Krusty Krab policy clearly states that once the burger has reached the customer, it is his/her responsibility...

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! [puts down the bun] That's the old policy. Now run back and bring out a fresh one.

SpongeBob: Aye, aye, sir. [goes into the kitchen]

Mr. Krabs: Sorry about the confusion. [pulls out a toy] Free toy?

[Martha takes it, looking confused]

Squidward: Eugene, my man.

Mr. Krabs: Squidward! How's the break coming?

Squidward: Should be over in a couple of hours. Have SpongeBob send back a patty and an iced-tea, will you? [Winks then walks off]

Mr. Krabs: Sure thing, Squidward. Take it easy.

[Mr. Krabs walks up to a customer watching a movie on a small television hanging from the ceiling]

Mr. Krabs: Are you enjoying your in-meal movie?

Harold: This movie hasn't even been in the theaters yet!

Mr. Krabs: [pats the customer on the back] No expense spared for my valued customers.

[Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob standing in front of the restaurant]

Mr. Krabs: Look at all those happy faces. It sure does feel good to be generous.

Squidward: [walks in with some envelopes] Here's your mail, Eugene.

Mr. Krabs: Thanks, Squidward. You look rested.

Squidward: Yeah, these naps at work are doing wonders for me. [stretches and yawns a little]

Mr. Krabs: Credit card bills. Well, I knew this was coming. Let's see what the damage is. [opens the envelope] Only ten thousand dollars. That's not so bad. [runs up to the cash register] I'll just subtract it from today's profit. [opens the register, but it's empty] And...there's no money in here. [laughs] How delightful.

SpongeBob: Squidward, I'm worried about Mr. Krabs.

Squidward: Me, too. How are we gonna get paid? [both walk up to Mr. Krabs] Gee, Mr. Krabs, you sure are taking total bankruptcy well.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, it's just a bad dream. (In Latin Spanish, he says "Oh, it's just a nightmare".) I'll wake up soon. [SpongeBob and Squidward look at each other surprised]

Squidward: Uh... "dream"? (In Latin Spanish, he questions "Nightmare?")

Mr. Krabs: Sure. I'm still in the hospital sleeping like a baby!

SpongeBob: Umm, you checked out of the hospital this morning.

Squidward: Here's the bill. [hands Mr. Krabs the bill from earlier]

Mr. Krabs: You mean... I'm awake?! [he screams in horror as his head cracks through the middle over and over. Each time he cracks his head open, a new one appears.]

[Mr. Krabs now changes from generous to greedy and races up to Nat drinking a Mountain Dew-like drink and he confiscates it from him]

Mr. Krabs: No more refills!

[Mr. Krabs takes it to the soda machine and the drink gets sucked back into it like a vacuum. Then, he runs up to two kids playing with toys. He swipes them also.]

Mr. Krabs: Give me back them toys, you freeloaders!

[And Mr. Krabs then runs back over to Harold watching the movie earlier]

Mr. Krabs: [while tapping a remote] Show's over, cheapskate!

[Mr. Krabs turns the TV off, then presses a button that erases his memory of the movie. Harold goes dizzy.]

Nathiel Waters: Hey, it's my lucky day, a penny! [reaches for the penny]

Mr. Krabs: [grabs a hold of the customer's arm] Your luck just ran out!

Nathiel Waters: Hey, man, ease back. You're crushing my arm.

Mr. Krabs: Unhand that penny, or the arm comes off.

[Flying Dutchman reappears. The customer runs away]

Flying Dutchman: A-ha! That little display of parsimonious penny pinching just earned you a nice little spot in Davy Jones' locker... For eternity!

Mr. Krabs: I'm not cheap, I'm generous!

Squidward: You almost tore a man's arm off for a penny.

Mr. Krabs: [sarcastically] Thanks, Squidward, I knew I could count on you. [Flying Dutchman picks him up] Well, a deal's a deal. Let's go.

SpongeBob: Wait just a burger-flipping second!

[Flying Dutchman turns around]

Flying Dutchman: Who dares back-sass the Flying Dutchman?

SpongeBob: That would be me: SpongeBob Back-SassPants. I say you got the wrong crab. This Mr. Krabs is the most generous, big-hearted, non-skinflinted crab in the whole sea. [While SpongeBob speaks, Mr. Krabs is happy at SpongeBob's words]

Flying Dutchman: He'd sell your soul for a couple of bucks.

SpongeBob: I'd bet my soul he wouldn't.

Flying Dutchman: You got yourself a bet. [to Mr. Krabs] Okay, Krabs, I'll let you stay, but first, help me settle a bet. If you had to choose between SpongeBob and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you take?

Mr. Krabs: That depends. How much money we talking about?

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!

Flying Dutchman: [shows some coins] 62 cents.

Mr. Krabs: I'll take the money.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!

Flying Dutchman: Here you go, Krabs. 62 cents. [hands him the change and picks up SpongeBob] Next stop: Davy Jones' locker! [SpongeBob screams as they both disappear]

Mr. Krabs: [Runs to Squidward, happy] Look, Squidward, money!

Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I can't believe I'm saying this, but how could you trade SpongeBob for sixty-two cents?

Mr. Krabs: You think I could've gotten more?

Squidward: He stuck up for you and you sold him out. You should be ashamed of yourself!

Mr. Krabs: [Briefly looks at his change in a sad way until he starts to cry.] Oh, what have I done? [cries] I want another chance! I didn't learn anything! I lost me best fry cook! I don't want this foul money! [throws the change on the ground] I want SpongeBob back!

[Flying Dutchman reappears and drops SpongeBob on the floor]

Flying Dutchman: Here, take him back.

Mr. Krabs: You heard what I said about the money?

Flying Dutchman: Heard what you said? I couldn't hear myself thinking with this one around. I only had him for thirty seconds. [while speaking, scene cuts to SpongeBob and Flying Dutchman at Davy Jones' locker with SpongeBob talking a lot] And it's jellyfishing this and Mermaid Man that. Why, not giving him back is a fate worse than death!

SpongeBob: [In the Davy Jones' locker scene, talking simultaneously with the Flying Dutchman's explanations, talking super quickly] Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are the greatest. They're close personal friends of mine. They taught me everything. I love jellyfishing, do you like jellyfishing? I do. You want to go jellyfishing with me some time? Bring your own net!

Flying Dutchman: He's your problem now. [laughs evilly as he disappears]

Mr. Krabs: Heh, about trading you for pocket change...

SpongeBob: Say no more, Mr. Krabs. You did it for the Krusty Krab. I would have done the same thing.

Mr. Krabs: You would have?

SpongeBob: No.

[SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward all laugh. Scene cuts to the Flying Dutchman sitting on a chair, reading a book until the phone rings]

Flying Dutchman: [picks up phone] Dutchman's residence.

SpongeBob: [on the other end, talking super quickly] So, as I was saying, you and me gotta hang out more. What nights are good for you? Here are the nights that are good for me: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I gotta work. [Flying Dutchman groans] I work at the Krusty Krab. My best friend is Patrick. He's pink.