French Narrator: Ahh, the Krusty
Krab. Through these doors pass all the many kinds of undersea life. [two fish are
about to leave]
Mermaid Man: Through the double doors! [bursts through
the door, knocking the two fish away] Away!
French Narrator: And also
these guys. [Barnacle Boy enters the Krusty Krab]
Barnacle Boy: I told you I'm not hungry, Mermaid Man!
Mermaid Man: N-nonsense, Barnacle Boy, we've got to
keep up our strength for the fight against evil!
Barnacle Boy: What a dive.
Mermaid Man: To the register! [runs to the register]
Away!
Squidward: Can I help you?
Mermaid Man: A double Krabby
Patty and Coral Bits for me, and a silly meal for the lad.
Barnacle Boy: It's not for the toy, I just... I've gotta fit in the tights, y'know?
[smiles nervously]
Squidward: Whatever. Five dollars, please.
Mermaid Man: You got it, bucky. [removes his left
seashell cup, opens the shell up like a clutch purse and pulls out a metal nut]
Will this cover it? [close up of the nut and a timpani
noise is heard]
Squidward: No.
Barnacle Boy: [confronts Squidward] Listen, big nose,
[points at Mermaid Man] that guy has been saving your butt since before you
were born. Don't you got a living legend discount or
something?
Squidward: This is a restaurant, not a lending
library. [pokes Barnacle Boy] And who are you calling big nose, [pokes Barnacle
Boy again] big nose? [both press noses against each other. Barnacle Boy gets
out a $5 bill from his hat and throws it to Squidward]
Barnacle Boy: Well, next time danger threatens, don't
expect any help from us.
Squidward: [grabs the bill. Sarcastically] I'm
shaking. Heh. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.
SpongeBob: [slowly breaks through wall] Mermaid Man
and Barnacle Boy? Must... get... autograph! Hraw!
[stretches his arm to pull a pen from Tom's shirt pocket] Keyah! [stretches
second arm to grab a piece paper coincidentally floating by an open window]
Mermaid Man: If you wanna
grow up strong like me,... [shows his fat belly,
shocking Barnacle Boy] you gotta leave room for
seconds. Here comes our waiter.
SpongeBob: [runs while making a weird face] Autograph!
Barnacle Boy: Holy sea cow, it's that sponge kid!
Mermaid Man: Quick, lad, [his pants fall
down] to the invisible boat mobile! [runs outside, while holding his
pants] Away!
Barnacle Boy: Where'd we park?
Mermaid Man: Uhh...
SpongeBob: Can I have your autograph? Can I have your
autograph? Can I... they're gone. [gasps, notices Mermaid Man's belt on the
floor] Mermaid Man's belt!
Mermaid Man: Wait! We'll find it with the invisible
boat alarm! [pulls it out, and makes as if to press a
button. A pink 1959 Cadillac Eldorado flickers in and out of visibility thrice,
making beeps as well] There she is! [they run over and jump in the car.
Barnacle Boy hits the gear shift]
Barnacle Boy: Eee-ow! [rubs
his behind] I told you we should have got the automatic!
SpongeBob: Hey, guys! Wait up! [pulling out Mermaid
Man's belt; slow motion] I've got something for you...
Barnacle Boy: Floor it! [both speed off in the boat]
SpongeBob: You forgot your belt! You forgot— [Mermaid
Man and Barnacle Boy drive away] Mermaid Man's secret utility belt. The emblem
of submersible justice! For 65 years, this belt has helped prevent the fall of
nations... and pants. I can't believe I'm actually holding
it in my hands. Well, I guess I should return it. [makes one step in the boat's
direction... then sprints back to the kitchen with the belt on] Or not.
[giggles] I could just hang onto it till after work... all alone with Mermaid
Man's belt. I wonder what this button does. [presses the belt, and a pickle
barrel shrinks] Whoa. [grabs the shrunken barrel] The small ray. [giggles and
smiles mischievously]
Squidward: Here's your shake, sir. [starts to hand him
the shake but he's startled by a loud noise from the kitchen and SpongeBob's
giggle, causing him to accidentally drop the shake on the guy's head. The guy
punches Squidward in the face and storms out. There are more flashes, noises and giggles from the kitchen. Squidward gets up and
he holds his head] Grr.
SpongeBob: [hands a tiny Krabby
Patty to a cockroach] There you go. [puts the tiny Krabby
Patty on its back and the cockroach scurries away] Come again, sir. [Squidward
barges in]
Squidward: SpongeBob. What's going on in here? Huh?
[SpongeBob wears a tiny hat and holds a tiny spatula, and a cockroach is eating
a Krabby Patty while sitting on a shrunken dining
table] Why's everything all tiny?
SpongeBob: [turns the belt around to hide it from
Squidward] I don't know.
Squidward: What do you got there?
SpongeBob: Nothing.
Squidward: No, really?
SpongeBob: Nothing.
Squidward: You've got something, alright. Let's see
it. [grabs SpongeBob and sees Mermaid Man's belt]
SpongeBob: No, no!
Squidward: [gasps] Is that Mermaid Man's belt?
SpongeBob: Yes.
Squidward: Wow. I can't believe he'd lend it to you.
SpongeBob: Me, uh... either. [chuckles nervously]
Squidward: [gasps] He didn't lend it to you, did he?
SpongeBob: Please don't tell!
Squidward: [angry] You stole it!
SpongeBob: Please don't tell!
Squidward: Oh, I'm telling.
SpongeBob: Squidward, if Mermaid Man finds out, he'll
kick me out of his fan club for sure! Please don't tell!
Squidward: Uh-oh! [points at the phone hanging on the
kitchen wall] There's the phone.
SpongeBob: Don't!
Squidward: I'm walking towards the phone! [slowly
walks towards the phone]
SpongeBob: No!
Squidward: [slowly reaches for the phone] I'm getting
closer to the phone.
SpongeBob: [sobbing] Do-o-o-n't!
Squidward: [picks up the phone, ready to call Mermaid
Man] And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for.
SpongeBob: [wails and tears himself] I'm begging you!
Squidward: Hello. I'd like to speak to Mer--
[SpongeBob shrinks Squidward. He lands on the table] What the? What? [phone
hits him on the head] Ow!
Mermaid Man: [on phone] Hello? Hello?
Squidward: What did you do to me?!
SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Squidward, but you made me do
it!
Squidward: SpongeBob, if you don't return me to normal
size right now, you are gonna be in really big trouble!
SpongeBob: Uh... uh, okay, uh...
Squidward: I said now!
SpongeBob: Uh... [belt is shown to have several
complicated buttons] Uh...
Squidward: Do you hear me?! [SpongeBob zaps Squidward
and he appears with multiple eyes with hissing snakes] Holy fish paste! Get it
off me! Get it off me! [takes eyes off him and pants in fear] Don't you know
how to work that thing?!
SpongeBob: Uhh, I can do it!
[changes Squidward into a burning mess, then changes him to have an enormous
nose, then to have no skin, then cut in half by scissors, then changed into
more things off-screen while SpongeBob looks in fright. Squidward screams
whenever SpongeBob changes him]
Squidward: [looks burnt after SpongeBob's failed
attempts to revert him] Stop! I've got an idea. Let's call Mermaid Man and--
SpongeBob: [snatching Squidward] No! I can't let you
do that! But there must be someone else who can help! Someone smart and wise,
with years of life experience. [he runs to Patrick's house, where Patrick is
sleeping] Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!
Patrick: [wakes up due to surprise] Ehh? Huh? Oh. Hi, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Patrick, I was at work, and Mermaid Man and
Barnacle Boy came, and I got this belt, and look. [shows Patrick the shrunken
Squidward]
Patrick: Oh! A Squidward action figure! [grabs
Squidward] Let me play with him!
SpongeBob: No, Patrick!
Patrick: Fighter pilot! [imitates jet plane diving,
machine gunfire and explosion noises] Dive bomb!
SpongeBob: Patrick!
Patrick: [about to punch Squidward] And then comes a
giant fist!
Squidward: No!
SpongeBob: Patrick, no! That's not an action figure!
That's the real Squidward! I shrunk him by accident.
Patrick: Oh... [about to punch Squidward anyway] And
then comes a giant-- [Squidward screams]
SpongeBob: [stops Patrick] Wait, you don't understand!
This is serious! I don't know how to unshrink him! He could be stuck like this
for the rest of his life.
Patrick: Oh, don't worry about it. He'll find love one
day.
SpongeBob: You think so?
Patrick: Well, sure. But it'll be with someone his own
size. [pulls out a pickle] Like this pickle! See? They like each other!
Squidward: N-n-n-n-no. [Patrick bangs them together as
if to kiss. Squidward is disgusted]
SpongeBob: Oh, if only I knew how to work this thing!
Patrick: Let me take a look
at it. Hmmm. You know what the problem is?
SpongeBob: What?
Patrick: You got it set to [points to the M] 'M' for
Mini when it should be set to [turns M around] 'W' for Wumbo.
SpongeBob: Patrick, I don't think "Wumbo" is a real word.
Patrick: Come on! You know... I wumbo,
You wumbo, He, she, me... wumbo!
Wumbo, wumboing... [he
rambles on]
Squidward: [while Patrick is saying "we'll have
the wumbo"] I wonder if the fall from this
height would be enough to kill me?
Patrick: ...we'll have the wumbo,
Wumborama... Wumbology, the
study of wumbo? It's first grade, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm sorry I doubted you.
Patrick: Well, all right, then. Let her rip!
[SpongeBob uses Mermaid Man's belt and presses something to try and regrow
Squidward but accidentally shrinks Patrick.] It worked!
SpongeBob: Oh no!
Patrick: Look, SpongeBob's giant! [SpongeBob grabs
them] Can I be giant next?
SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm not giant, you shrunk too!
Patrick: You're kidding! [pulls out his pickle] Good
thing I still got this pickle! [kisses the pickle three times. Pan over to
Squidward]
Squidward: Hey! Now will you take us to Mermaid Man?!
SpongeBob: [yells in Squidward's face] No! He can
never find out! But I'll think of something. I promise. [gets a pickle jar and
puts them in] Until then, you'll be safe in this pickle jar.
Patrick: You know what's funny? My pickle started out
in a jar, and now it's in one again! Heh. It's like a pun or something. Heheh.
SpongeBob: It's only two people, no big deal. Nobody
else saw it. [Sandy suddenly walks by]
Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: [screams] Sandy! [shrinks Sandy]
Sandy: [lands on the ground] What did you... For cryin' out... What did y'all do to me?
SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Sandy! Mermaid Man came in
and... [Larry walks by]
Larry: Hey, SpongeBob! [gets shrunken by SpongeBob,
Nat walks by]
Nat: Hey, SpongeBob, I- [gets shrunken by SpongeBob,
Nancy Suzy Fish walks by]
Nancy Suzy Fish: Hi, SpongeBob. [gets shrunken;
SpongeBob screams and makes a run for it]
Mrs. Puff: Hello, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Whew! [shrinks Mrs. Puff]
Scooter: Sponge-dude!
SpongeBob: Aah! [shrinks Scooter, Sandals, and Dennis]
Fish #1: Hey, SpongeBob! [SpongeBob shrinks fish]
Fish #2: SpongeBob, hi! [SpongeBob shrinks fish]
Fish #3: Hey, SpongeBob! [SpongeBob shrinks fish]
Fish #4: What's up, Sponge? [SpongeBob shrinks fish]
Everyone: [scene cuts to SpongeBob trying to get the
lid down] Ohh, oh no!...
SpongeBob: [tries to fit everyone in the jar] Whoo! I'm gonna have to get a bigger jar.
Squidward: SpongeBob, will you just face facts? You've
shrunken everybody in Bikini Bottom! You've got to go to Mermaid Man!
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, he'll be so disappointed.
Sandy: Well, you can't leave us small forever!
SpongeBob: You don't understand! [his mother is seen
in the pickle jar]
Mrs. SquarePants: [gently and soothingly] SpongeBob.
You need to admit your mistakes.
SpongeBob: Mom?
Mermaid Man: Your mother's right, son. Mermaid Man
will understand.
Barnacle Boy: You're Mermaid Man, you old coot!
Mermaid Man: Oh, yeah.
SpongeBob: Mermaid Man? I'm so sorry, it's just that
I'm such a big fan, and your belt, and...
Mermaid Man: [comforting SpongeBob] Awww, don't worry, son. I understand! [SpongeBob smiles,
with tears still pooling in his eyes] Why, I remember back when I first used
the belt, the year was nineteen aught eleventy-twelve,
why I believe the president was--
Everyone: (angrily) Just tell him how to unshrink us!
Mermaid Man: Oh, yes. The un-shrink ray. Let's see,
uh, uh... Did you set it to wumbo?
Everyone: (furious) WHAT?! [the jar shakes out of rage and everyone flies out of the it, spills out, and they
form "GET SPONGEBOB!"] GET SPONGEBOB! [climbs up SpongeBob's body and
into the holes in his head]
Squidward: Now I have to
drive five miles to go to the bathroom... in my own home! [kicks SpongeBob's
stomach]
Sandy: And I need an elevator to climb one stair!
Hi-yah! [punches his brain]
Mermaid Man: We've been shrinking for years!
Barnacle Boy: But this is ridiculous! [both kick his
eyeballs. Dale kicks his pelvis, Nancy chops off one of his lungs while hanging
on to his spine, Larry kicks his knee. SpongeBob is shown getting hurt from the
outside]
Everyone: Everything's too big!
SpongeBob: I've got it! [Squidward uses a saw to tear
a blood vein in half and Frank tries to break a bone, but everyone stops when
SpongeBob shrinks the city] Ta-da! [everyone looks outside through his holes]
Since I couldn't make you big, I made the city small! [everybody leaves
SpongeBob's body] And now, only one more thing to shrink. Cheese! [turns the
shrink ray into W and towards him like a camera and shrinks himself]
Squidward: I guess this is okay.
Larry: Yeah, what's the difference?
Nancy: Good idea, SpongeBob. [everyone cheers,
balloons and other party items are flying from the tiny city, as a giant bus
parks and a giant Plankton gets off of it from his
vacation]
Plankton: Well, it's great to be back! [notices small Bikini Bottom] Huh?