[The title card has men singing part of the song "Sailing Over the Dogger Bank"] ♪Watch out, twigger she's a proper ju-be-ju... On a passage from the Dogger Bank to Great Grimsby!♪ [then we see the Krusty Krab at night]

Mr. Krabs: [sighs] Well, it's the worst time of the day once again. [cringes as he changes the "Open" sign to "Closed"] Closing time!

SpongeBob: Well, see you in the A.M., Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: [picks up SpongeBob] Hold on there, SpongeBob! [pulls SpongeBob back] Take that pile of filth out with you. [Squidward holds up a trash bag with flies flying around it]

SpongeBob: [gasps] Mr. Krabs, you shouldn't talk about Squidward like that!

Squidward: He means this filth, you loon. [drops the bag on the floor]

[SpongeBob goes to the dumpster while bringing the trash bag.]

SpongeBob: [singing] Takin' out the trash, takin' out the trash.

[SpongeBob throws the trash in the dumpster and then looks at some writings on the dumpster.]

SpongeBob: Hmm... dumpster writing! The voice of the people! "Up with bubbles, down with air!" [laughs] "Nematodes are people too!" [laughs] Ha, those nematodes... Here's one someone didn't finish! Squidward smells. [writes the word "good" after "smells"] Good. [laughs] Hmm, what's this one? Krabs is a... hmm? Krabs is a [dolphin chirp].

Incidental 119: [clearly disgusted] Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? [picks up some garbage bags and leaves]

SpongeBob: Well, sometimes, but not... Recently.

Patrick: [off-screen] Hi, garbage man. [appears on-screen] Hi, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick! Hey, Patrick, do you know what this word means?

Patrick: "Krabs..." Uh, isn't that the red, sweaty guy you work for?

SpongeBob: [pointing to "Krabs," then the unseen word] Nah-uh, not that word, that word.

Patrick: Hmm... [dolphin chirp]! Oh, hey! I think I know what that means. That's one of those sentence enhancers.

SpongeBob: Sentence enhancers?

Patrick: You use them when you want to talk fancy. You just sprinkle it over anything you say, and Wham-O! You've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich!

SpongeBob: Oh, I get it! Let me try. [clears his throat] Hello, Patrick. Lovely [dolphin chirp] day we're having, isn't it?

Patrick: Why, yes it is, SpongeBob. This [dolphin chirp] day is particularly [dolphin chirp] lovely!

SpongeBob: How [dolphin chirp] right you are, Patrick!

[The two continue to say the word a few more times.]

SpongeBob: Ooh, You're right, Patrick, my lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation.

Patrick: Oh, mine, too!

[SpongeBob and Patrick laugh.]

SpongeBob: It tingles when I laugh!

[SpongeBob walks into the Krusty Krab the next day.]

SpongeBob: [opens the doors] Hello, customers, nice [dolphin chirp] day we're havin’, uh? [the customers stop eating and stare in shock]

Harold: [gasps] Did he just say?!

Pirate 3: Aye, he did.

SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, how the [dolphin chirp] are ya?

Patrick: [sitting at a table at the Krusty Krab] Pretty [dolphin chirp] good, SpongeBob.

Old Man Jenkins: I thought this was a restaurant, not a gutter mouth convention.

SpongeBob: [taps on the microphone and speaks into it] Attention, customers, today's special is a [dolphin chirp] Krabby Patty served in a greasy [dolphin chirp] sauce and grilled to [dolphin chirp] perfection. [a mother octopus covers her laughing children's ears and puts a soda cup on the last one since she doesn't have enough tentacles] And don't forget to ask us to [dolphin chirp] the [dolphin chirp] fries. It will be our [dolphin chirp] pleasure. [Squidward hears the intercom and a giant human ear pops out of his head; he pushes it back in] Hi, Squidward, how the [dolphin chirp] are ya?

Patrick: Nice [dolphin chirp] day, isn't it, Squidward?

Tom: I don't understand. That guy's talented, he doesn't have to work blue.

Incidental 14: Let's go somewhere more family oriented. [everyone leaves the Krusty Krab, grumbling in frustration]

Female fish: [chattering (variously and) inaudibly] I'm never eating here again.

Male fish: [chattering (variously and) inaudibly] Those foul-mouth bottom feeders.

[The Krusty Krab customer meter is running down; sirens wail and a red light flashes.]

Mr. Krabs: [in the bathroom, hears the sirens] Huh? [looks through the periscope, sees that the Krusty Krab is empty, and gasps] The Krusty Krab! She's empty! [runs to the dining room with toilet paper stuck to one of his legs] All hands on deck! Batten the front doors! Brace the cash register! Break out the happy snacks! Squidward! Where have all me beautiful paying customers gone?

Squidward: Apparently, the two barnacle-mouth brothers just learned a new word, [cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick] and SpongeBob just said it over the intercom.

Mr. Krabs: Well, what was it? What did he say?

Squidward: Uh, he said, uh, well, he said... [whispers the word]

Mr. Krabs: Huh?

[Squidward whispers it again.]

Mr. Krabs: [gasps] SpongeBob and friend! Front and center! Why, I oughta make the two of you paint the Krusty Krab for using such language!

SpongeBob: But, Mr. Krabs, we were only using our sentence enhancers.

Patrick: Yeah, it's fancy talk.

Mr. Krabs: There ain't nothing fancy about that word!

SpongeBob: You mean [dolphin chirp]?

Mr. Krabs: Yes, that one! [SpongeBob and Patrick stand up] Now quit saying that! [SpongeBob and Patrick frown] It's a bad word.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Bad word?! [both regretfully wipe their tongues while moaning]

Mr. Krabs: Yes, siree. That's bad word number 11. In fact, there are 13 bad words you should never use.

Squidward: Don't you mean there are only seven?

Mr. Krabs: Not if you're a sailor. [laughs]

SpongeBob: Wow, 13.

Patrick: That's a lot of [dolphin chirp] bad words.

Mr. Krabs: Okay, boys. I want you to promise me you'll never use that word again.

SpongeBob and Patrick: We promise.

[Later at SpongeBob's house, SpongeBob and Patrick are playing Eels and Escalators.]

SpongeBob: Gee, I'm glad Mr. Krabs told us that word we were using was a bad word.

Patrick: Yeah, me too, because classy sophisticates like us shouldn't stain our lips with cursing.

SpongeBob: Yea, verily. Now let's play a nice, wholesome game of Eels and Escalators.

Patrick: Oh, boy, my favorite! [flops his arms up and down like a seal]

SpongeBob: Come on, Gary needs a new pair of shoes. [rolls the dice]

Patrick: Oh, eels. Too bad, SpongeBob. You gotta ride the eel.

SpongeBob: Darn. [moves his game piece to an eel]

Patrick: My turn! [rolls the dice] Hooray! Escalators! [laughs excitedly] Up, up, up!

SpongeBob: Come on, escalators, escalators, escalators. [rolls the dice and sighs] Eels again.

Patrick: My turn! [rolls the dice] Escalators!

SpongeBob: Escalators, Escalators, Escalators! [throws the dice] Eels?

Patrick: [rolls the dice] Es-skee-lators! [moves to the escalators] Well, this is your last chance, SpongeBob, or if you get eels again, you lose!

SpongeBob: [gets frustrated while rolling the dice] Escalators, escalators, escalators! [the dice is thrown and lands on escalators] Ha! Escalators! [the dice later turn over to eels]

Patrick: Eels...

SpongeBob: Ah, [dolphin chirp]! [quickly covers his mouth as he realizes his mistake]

Patrick: Ohhhhh! You said number 11!

SpongeBob: [babbles for Patrick to understand] I didn't mean... you gotta understand, Patrick, I was trying... What I meant to say was... some things just slip out. You gotta understand!

Patrick: Don't worry, SpongeBob, I understand. [pause] Mr. Krabs! [runs out the door] Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! [starts running to the Krusty Krab]

SpongeBob: [starts running after him and screams] No, wait, Patrick! [after SpongeBob catches up to Patrick] Patrick, no, please don't tell!

Patrick: But, you said "[dolphin chirp]"! [promptly covers his mouth as he realizes his mistake]

SpongeBob: A-ha! Now I'm gonna tell Mr. Krabs on you!

Patrick: Not if I tell first!

SpongeBob: I can run faster than you! [laughs]

Patrick: [riding on the back of an ice cream truck] See ya at the Krusty Krab! Hahaha! [the truck turns left, away from the Krusty Krab's direction] Oh, no!

SpongeBob: [laughs as he barges into the Krusty Krab] Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: What, what, what?

SpongeBob: Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!

Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, yes?

SpongeBob: He said, he said, he said!

Mr. Krabs: Out with it, boy!

SpongeBob: [talking fast] Me and Patrick were playing Eels and Escalators, and Patrick was going up-up-up, and I had to ride the eel and then we ran and Patrick, he said some things.

Mr. Krabs: [eyes SpongeBob] What kind of things?

SpongeBob: Well, he said...

Mr. Krabs: Yes?

SpongeBob: Well, uh, let's just say he said a certain word that you said we shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be number 11 in a list of 13 words you said shouldn't be said.

Mr. Krabs: Uh... right, now what was that part about the, um... Who now?

Patrick: [walks into the Krusty Krab eating an ice cream, but throws away the cone] Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs! [Mr. Krabs sighs]

SpongeBob and Patrick: He said that word that you said we shouldn't say...!

SpongeBob: ...number 13...

[SpongeBob and Patrick babble on about the word, as Mr. Krabs stares on disapprovingly, until the two are just pointing at each other and yelling gibberish; Mr. Krabs eventually grabs their lips to quiet them.]

Mr. Krabs: Now I'm gonna let go of yer lips, and when I do, I want you to calmly tell me what youse need to tell me, understand?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Mmm-hmm. [Mr. Krabs lets go of their lips, which initially deflate, then reinflate; they both point at each other again] He said "[dolphin chirp]"!

Mr. Krabs: [gasps] Do my ears deceive me? You two should be ashamed! Time to take out the trash. [picks SpongeBob and Patrick up by their pants and carries them outside the Krusty Krab] You two need to be taught a lesson. I thought I made it clear. Never — and I mean never — use number 11 or any of the 13 bad words! Now the both of youse wait right here. I'll be back. [walks back inside the Krusty Krab]

Patrick: What's going to happen to us?

SpongeBob: We'll probably get 40 lashes.

Patrick: Oh, no! [fearfully imagines himself blinking with 40 thick eyelashes]

SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Patrick. Mr. Krabs is right. There's no need for words like that.

Patrick: I'm sorry, too, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Let's make a vow, Patrick. From this day forth, a foul word shall never pass our lips. We'll be good citizens, just like good ol' Mr. Krabs.

Patrick: [shakes hands with SpongeBob] Agreed!

Mr. Krabs: [returns with a ladder and several paint cans] All right, you two foul mouths. As punishment for fouling the air in me restaurant with yer foul words, you're going to give the Krusty Krab a fresh coat of paint from top to bottom. [jams his foot on a rock then hops on one leg] Woo! Wow! Oh! Ow! My [dolphin chirps] foot! What [dolphin chirps] genius put a [dolphin chirps] rock in a [dolphin chirps] path?! Can't you see I got a [boat horn no. 1] foot here?! Oh [seal bark]!

[Mr. Krabs continues saying a bunch of swear words, censored out by seagulls, foghorns, ship bells, etc.; at this moment, SpongeBob and Patrick count the swear words he uses.]

SpongeBob: Five, six, seven...

Mr. Krabs: ...a whole lotta [old-style foghorn] and with a side of [dolphin chirp], and a heapin' helpin' of [ship's bell] and a boatload of [boat horn no. 4]...

Patrick: Nine...

Mr. Krabs: Aw, [seal bark, seagull squawk] crabbin [SpongeBob's alarm clock] Ooh-hoo-ho! [cries in pain]

SpongeBob: [cuts to SpongeBob with 13 fingers] That's all 13, Patrick! [gasps] We're gonna tell your mom, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: [worried] No, please! Not my mommy! [SpongeBob and Patrick laugh as they run to Mama Krabs' house, Mr. Krabs runs after them] Wait! Please don't tell me mother! I don't think her little old heart can take it!

[They all arrive at Mama Krabs' house, a giant pink anchor.]

SpongeBob and Patrick: [repeatedly banging on the door] Mama Krabs! Mama Krabs!

Mama Krabs: Well, hello there!

[SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs all explain the situation at the same time, swearing numerous times as they do so.]

SpongeBob: Mama Krabs, he said [points at Patrick; dolphin chirp] and then he said [points at Mr. Krabs; dolphin chirps] and he said [points at Patrick with both arms and one leg; dolphin chirps] again and he said [seal barks], and then he screamed at the top of his voice [foghorn blows]!

Patrick: [at the same time as the above lines were said] It was terrible.

SpongeBob: And he—

Mr. Krabs: [at the same time as the above, angrily] Gah, they're a bunch of [horn honks] liars!

SpongeBob: —Mrs. Krabs, he didn't care! Such a stream of [seagull caws, foghorn, ship's bell]—

Patrick: [crying] It was terrible!

SpongeBob: —I have ever heard in my days!

Mama Krabs: [shocked] Oh, dear! My poor, old heart. [faints]

Mr. Krabs: [gasps] Oh, dear mother! What have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you? [takes a coin out of her pocket] You two should be ashamed! Making an old lady faint with your sailor talk!

Mama Krabs: You should all be ashamed! And if you're going to talk like sailors, then you're going to work like sailors.

[Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs painting her house, while Patrick is painting the sand.]

Mama Krabs: I guess you scallywags have earned a glass of lemonade. [laughs, then stubs her foot on a rock] Yeeeoww! My [Klaxon horn] foot!

[SpongeBob and Patrick gasp in shock.]

Mr. Krabs: [shocked] Mother!

Mama Krabs: What? It's Old Man Jenkins and his jalopy.

Old Man Jenkins: [driving by] Howdy, Mrs. K.! [honks the horn]

[SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Mama Krabs all laugh together as the episode ends.]