[It's another great day in Bikini Bottom. Gary is out
in a clearing and SpongeBob tiptoes over to a rock behind him giggling. He
looks from behind it.]
SpongeBob: Oh, I've got ya now, Gary.
Gary: Meow? [SpongeBob jumps up and lands in mid-air.
He touches Gary's shell with his index finger]
SpongeBob: Tag, you're it! [he runs off, SpongeBob
jumps and he opens his mouth. He flies to his house and chomps down on the side
of it, leaving him clinging. garbled] Gary will never find me here! [Gary
crawls over the ground, up the house and toward SpongeBob] Uh-oh. [Gary's eye
substitutes as an arm as he tags SpongeBob and meows] Tag! Now I'm it! [he
laughs uncontrollably as he slides down the wall, scraping off two slices of
the covering with his teeth. Patrick is below and SpongeBob takes the shavings
out of his teeth]
Patrick: Hi SpongeBob, what are you doing?
SpongeBob: Gary and I are playing tag. You wanna join
us?
Patrick: Oh boy, would I!
SpongeBob: [slyly] Okay, [touches him] Tag, you're it!
[walks away]
Patrick: I'm it! I'm it, I'm it, I'm it, I'm it! [Gary
is still there, and he meows. Patrick tags him] Tag, you're it! I win, I win!
[Gary purrs and rubs against Patrick. Then he crawls all around Patrick's body.
SpongeBob walks over] What's with Gary? He sounds like a motor boat! [laughs]
SpongeBob: That's just a snail's way of saying he
likes you!
Patrick: [laughs] It tickles! [the two laugh endlessly
as Gary continues to crawl around. They continue laughing and laughing until
it's dark]
SpongeBob: Well, I guess it's time for me and the
Gare-Bear to get going. Come on, Gary. [he pulls Gary off of Patrick and walks
away] Boy, I can't wait to hit the hay. [Patrick waves] What about you, Gary?
[SpongeBob sees that he's no longer holding Gary] Gary? Gary? [cut to Patrick's
house where the rock is up and Patrick's brushing his teeth and looking in a
mirror on the side of the wall. He has his nightcap on]
Patrick: [singing] Brush brush brush, brush brush
brush… [SpongeBob walks over]
SpongeBob: Hey Patrick, have you seen Gary?
Patrick: [singing] Brush brush brush, [he brushes
under his armpit] Brushin' everywhere… [he spits and turns around. We see Gary
attached to his stomach] Nope. [looks down] Oh, hey, here he is! [Gary purrs
and meows]
SpongeBob: Come on Gary, we gotta let Patrick go to
sleep.
Patrick: Well, I don't mind SpongeBob. In fact, why
don't you let Gary stay over at my house tonight?
SpongeBob: Hey, that's a great idea!
Patrick: A sleep-over! Oh boy, oh boy! This is gonna
be great, Gary. We can stay up till dawn and watch scary movies and eat popcorn
and play board games… [SpongeBob thinks to himself and we hear Patrick in the
background saying, "Blah blah blah blah…"]
SpongeBob: Gee, this is great. My two best friends in
the whole sea having a sleepover.
Patrick: And then we'll make a house of cards, and
then we'll read some comic books…
SpongeBob: OK, you two have a good time. I'll see you
tomorrow. [they wave good-bye and SpongeBob walks home]
Patrick: Blah blah blah blah blah… [soon, night
becomes day and SpongeBob wakes up to his foghorn alarm clock]
SpongeBob: I'm awake!
Patrick: [off-screen] Hey, SpongeBob! [SpongeBob leaps
up and runs to the window. Patrick and Gary are outside]
SpongeBob: Hey, guys, how was the sleepover?
Patrick: Great, SpongeBob. Watch this! Wherever I go,
Gary follows! [he pulls Gary off his chest and runs. Gary goes after him as he
runs around SpongeBob's house. He runs on top of his house and falls off and
continues running, which Gary then imitates] See? [SpongeBob jumps from the
window and runs off]
SpongeBob: Come on, Gary! Try and catch me! [laughs]
Isn't this great, Gary? Me running around and you chasing me? [he notices he's
not being chased] You're not chasing me… [Gary is still with Patrick]
Patrick: Come on, Gary, let's play a different game.
[he and Gary walk away. SpongeBob jumps in front of Gary]
SpongeBob: Who-ho-ho-ho! Look out! I'm right in front
of… [Gary crawls away after Patrick] …you… What's wrong with me? [he sniffs his
armpit] Do I offend? [Patrick is playing with Gary, Gary is crawling on
Patrick's toes. Patrick's on his back and laughing while Gary purrs. SpongeBob
runs inside the house and brings out a ball covered in snail slime] Hey, Gary!
Gary, look! It's your favorite ball! [Gary is sitting on Patrick's bum and
Patrick shakes it, laughing. SpongeBob drops the ball. Gary is now crawling up
to Patrick's armpit. SpongeBob pulls a can of snail nip] Hey, Gary, look!
Snail-nip! [he eats some] Huh? Huh-huh? [Gary is too busy crawling on Patrick's
head to notice. SpongeBob decides to try something else, he runs inside and
hangs from the window by his head] Help, Gary, help! Help me! Oh, merciful
Neptune! I closed the window on my head! [Gary is on his shell rolling Patrick
left and right] All right, that's it! [The window opens and SpongeBob falls.
Gary is now rolling on Patrick's belly. SpongeBob walks up to them] Gary, you
stop this foolishness, right now. [Gary's eyes lower] Gary the Snail, answer me
when I'm talking to you! Okay, that's it, mister! You are coming home with me
this instant! [SpongeBob struggles and pulls Gary off Patrick] Say goodbye to
Patrick, Gary. [he walks off, Gary lets out a meow of sadness]
Patrick: Hold it right there, DadMom AngryPants!
SpongeBob: What's that supposed to mean?
Patrick: I don't know, but I do know Gary knows who he
wants to go with. Now, I suggest that you put him down and let him choose.
[SpongeBob does so]
SpongeBob: Fine, but I would like to remind him who it
was who fed him and housed him and sat on his bedside when he was sick and
massaged his eyestalks when his eyes were sore! Okay, Gary, go ahead, show him.
Okay, Gary, come to me! Come on, come on, Gary! Come on, come here, Gary! [Gary
turns around to Patrick] Uh, wrong way, Gary. [Ignoring, Gary is crawling
toward Patrick] G-Gary, turn around! Gary, no, Gary, no, no, no! Don't do it,
Gary! [he collapses as Gary crawls up to Patrick]
Patrick: Well, well, well... I guess that answers that
question. [SpongeBob's eyes well up] So long, SpongeBob. Gary and me got stuff
to do.
SpongeBob: [angrily, to Gary] Okay, fine, if that's
how you want to thank me… [whimpers] ...for all that I've done?! [Patrick's
rock falls down into place. Cut to SpongeBob's darkened room where SpongeBob is
on his bed looking down at Gary's bowl. He sheds a tear into it] I guess you're
not coming back, Gary. [angrily] I don't need Gary! I'll just find another pet!
Yeah, it'll be better than Gary! I'm going to get a pet that won't go off with
my best friend! [cut to Patrick running around laughing with Gary on his head.
SpongeBob walks by with a giant worm by the leash. The worm is bluish green and
is panting heavily] Hi, guys! Say hello to my new pal Rex! [Rex barks,
SpongeBob pats him] Not only is he loyal, but he knows tricks, too! Watch and
learn. Sit, Rex, sit! [he waits, but Rex is just sitting there] Roll over, Rex,
roll over! [Rex just sits there again] Now stay, Rex, stay! Good boy, Rex!
Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? [Patrick laughs and
dances with Gary on his head] I'm sure glad we went our separate ways, Gary. A
worm really is the pet for me. [loudly so Gary can hear] So loyal, so trusting,
always by my side! [Rex barks and we see he's waiting for the bus across the
street with a hitch-hiking pole with stuff in it. The bus comes and he rides
off. Cut to SpongeBob entering the house with a pet carrying case] Who needs
worms anyway? [SpongeBob puts down the case and opens the door] Welcome home,
newest bestest friend. Come on out, don't be shy. [a snail comes out. It's got
big bushy black eyebrows and a tan shell, with the same design as Gary's into
Lary's] You remind me of someone I once knew. A certain someone whose name will
not be spoken in this household. Come on, let me show you around, Larry.
Larry: [in a deeper voice than Gary's] Meow. [Cut to
Larry sitting at a table as SpongeBob walks over with a plate with a cover on
it. SpongeBob is in chef garb]
SpongeBob: And now, Larry, I present to you... dinner
time! Ta-dah! [he takes off the cover, it's snail food in Gary's bowl. But the
Gary inscription now has an L written over the G] Bon appetite, Larry!
[giggles. Larry sniffs it and hisses. SpongeBob quickly takes the bowl away,
scared] Okay, maybe later. [walks backward. Cut to SpongeBob with his robe on,
showing Larry the newspaper bed next to his own] This is where you sleep,
Larry. [Larry goes over on it, hisses, and tears it up. Larry is now up on
SpongeBob's bed] Uh, that's where I… [Larry hisses loudly and falls asleep
instantly] I guess you can sleep there… [SpongeBob lays down on the shredded
newspaper] I'll sleep down here. [lays some shreds on him like a blanket] Well,
good night, Larry. [Larry hisses again. Cut to morning where Larry is watching
TV. SpongeBob jumps in upside down and surprises him, causing him to hide in
his shell] Hey, Larry, want to hear a joke? Aw, Gary used to love this one!
[clears throat] What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor! [laughs, Larry
hisses and crawls away] Don't you get it, Larry? A snailor. [he deflates then
he stands up] Gosh, Larry is sure different than Gary. And Gary and Larry are
real different than Jerry. [he holds a real-life snail from his pocket. He
looks at a photo of Gary] Oh, Gary, why did you have to go?! [cries] Why,
Gary?! Why?! Why, why, why, why, why, why?! [we hear Gary meow] Gary? [we see
Patrick and Gary are behind him. Patrick is holding a basket of laundry]
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Oh, hello, Patrick.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Hello, Gary.
Patrick: Would it be all right if me and Gary did some
laundry around here?
SpongeBob: Laundry? But... we used to do laundry...
Patrick: And, uh, SpongeBob, could we borrow some
soap?
SpongeBob: Soap? But... we used to use soap. [holds up
two bottles] Do you want 'Fresh Scent' or 'Heavy Du'... [tears up]
Patrick: Here it comes...
SpongeBob: Du... du... du... [cries] ty! [his tears
make both of the bottles bubble up] Gary! Please come back, Gary! Please come
home! I'm a wreck without you! [stops crying] I know! If you come back,
there'll be a new no-rules rule. You can do whatever you want, when you want!
[runs up to the sofa and tears it up furiously] If you feel like rippin' the
sofa, then you rip it up! [runs up to the litter box] And the litter box?
Forget about it! [he dumps the litter on his head] The world is your litter
box! [he runs to the fridge and opens it] And you don't even have to wait
around for me to feed you anymore! 24-hour fridge access! [he takes a milk
carton and drinks it] And you don't even have to use a bowl! [he runs to a
giant carving of Squidward] And I know how much you like my prized driftwood
carving of Squidward. [scratches at it] Well, think of it as your own personal
scratching post! What do you think, Gary? Won't it be fun, Gary? [we see
SpongeBob has carved Squidward into a heart]
Patrick: How pathetic.
SpongeBob: Gary? [the heart breaks in half and one
half hits him. The two walk to the laundry room]
Patrick: [patronisingly] I'm sorry, SpongeBob. But
Gary's with me now. You had your chance and you failed. You have to stop living
in the past. Face it, SpongeBob, you're only hurting yourself. [he takes off
his shorts and puts them in the machine; Gary crawls in after them] It's what
Gary wants, and what Gary wants is me. Right, Gary? Huh? [the two notice Gary
is in the machine, nudging in Patrick's shorts] He only liked me for my shorts!
SpongeBob: No, Patrick. He wanted the cookie in your
pocket! [Gary is indeed eating the cookie. He finishes and crawls out up to
SpongeBob]
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: G-G-Gary? [Gary burps and happily meows]
Whee! [he hugs Gary] Oh, Gary, I knew you'd never leave me! Aww... [giggles, he
takes his leash] Let's go for a walk, pal! [the two walk out. Patrick is left
alone heartbroken and devastated]
Patrick: Gary? I thought what we had was special...! [the episode ends]