[The episode opens at Goo Lagoon. A small bulldozer approaches the Goo Lagoon sign, tears it out of the ground, and throws it away. Just then, Plankton comes out of the bulldozer with his hard hat on, laughing evilly, and puts down a couple of construction barriers]

Plankton: [takes out a megaphone and turns on] Attention, beach-goers! You are trespassing! You have exactly 17 minutes to haul your carcasses off the future site of the [puts up a sign] 'Chum Bucket Mega Bucket.' [all that is heard is a loud squeaking noise that catches some of the beachgoers' attention]

Incidental 8: Do you hear something? [Incidental 41 doesn't hear anything, and he shakes his head "no." Incidental 155 thinks the sound is coming from his megaphone, so he looks inside it, then turns it upside-down and shakes it.]

Plankton: [angrily] Okay, have it your way. I don't mind bulldozing over each and every one--

Incidental 65: [grabs Plankton's bulldozer] Mommy, look! Somebody left this toy tractor here.

Incidental 14: Put that down, Billy, that has germs on it. [Plankton frowns as his antennae droops and have germs on tractor of car oil.]

Incidental 65: [drops the bulldozer] Aw, mom.

Plankton: [talks through megaphone] You'll see. [throws away the megaphone] You'll all see! The future site of the Chum Bucket Mega Bucket must be clear to these cretinous beachgoers. But it's becoming increasingly obvious. I can deny it no longer! [zoom out] I am small. I need someone big to clear the beach for me. I need... [giant foot almost steps on Plankton, but he dives out of the way] SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Steppin' on the beach! Roo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin' on the beach! Roo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin' on the beach! Roo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin' on the beach! Roo-doo-doo-doo!

Plankton: Yes. He's the one. [laughs evilly. The sand on his head falls off]

SpongeBob: I'll have one... [Incidental 103 cuts in front of him]

Incidental 103: Two, please. [Lou gives him two ice creams] Thanks. [walks off]

SpongeBob: One, please. [The eel slithers through SpongeBob and grabs the ice cream]

Eel: Excuse me. [walks off licking the ice cream]

SpongeBob: One, please.

Incidental 39: Sorry, kid. We're all out.

SpongeBob: Aww, barnacles. [he hears crying coming from Plankton, who's sitting on a bench with two strawberry ice creams] Plankton, what are you doing here? And why are you crying?

Plankton: Oh, hi, SpongeBob. [blows his nose] I'm cryin' because I've got these two ice cream cones, but I only need one! [cries] I don't know what to do with the other one! [SpongeBob is confused; Plankton cries then stops for a second and looks at SpongeBob and cries again.]

SpongeBob: I'll eat one of those ice cream cones for ya.

Plankton: SpongeBob! Would you do that for me?

SpongeBob: Sure! [starts to lick the strawberry ice cream]

Plankton: SpongeBob? [SpongeBob is still licking the strawberry ice cream] SpongeBob? [SpongeBob eats the whole ice cream and is now licking what's left inside. Plankton uses his megaphone to get SpongeBob's attention] SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: [turns towards Plankton] Yeah? [spits out ice cream as he talks]

Plankton: Isn't it great to get the things you desire? Like that ice cream cone, for instance. [SpongeBob licks his fingers] You can have anything you want with a little training. [SpongeBob licks his fingers again]

SpongeBob: Training?

Plankton: Yes. You just have to learn to be more assertive. And I can show you how.

SpongeBob: Assertive, huh?

Plankton: That's right.

SpongeBob: Anything I want. [licks his lips] Sounds great! [spits more ice cream at Plankton when talking]

Plankton: Wonderful. [laughs evilly then SpongeBob joins in the laughing. Then Incidental 23 sits on SpongeBob] SpongeBob, don't let that guy sit on you! Assertiveness lesson #1: tell him to get off!

SpongeBob: Umm, excuse me, sir, you're sitting on my body, which is also my face.

Plankton: No, no, be assertive! [SpongeBob puts his fingers in Incidental 23's pockets]

SpongeBob: Beep Beep! [Plankton facepalms]

Plankton: Not insertive! [Incidental 23 checks his watch by the time, then walks away] SpongeBob, you missed your chance! You've got to be aggressive to get the things you want! You're too soft!

SpongeBob: But I'm a spo...

Plankton: Don't say it! [Plankton spots the eel that took SpongeBob's strawberry ice cream cone] There's the guy who took your ice cream. Don't you want it back?

SpongeBob: Ice cream! [Plankton gets up and runs behind the eel]

Plankton: Listen, you! My friend's got something to say! [The eel turns around]

Eel: What, who said that? [talks to SpongeBob] Was it you?

Plankton: Tell him off, SpongeBob. Assert yourself!

SpongeBob: That's my ice cream cone!

Plankton: Great! Now let him have it!

SpongeBob: [misunderstanding what Plankton means] You can have it.

Eel: Say, thanks! [walks off]

Plankton: No! [jumps inside SpongeBob's mouth] I'll show ya how! [voicing for SpongeBob, SpongeBob stands still.] Hey, pencil neck! [The eel turns around] Yeah, you. Slither over here! [The eel walks over to SpongeBob] Surrender that ice cream cone, or every waking moment for you will become a swirling torrent of pain and misery! [The eel winces; he throws the strawberry ice cream at SpongeBob and cries as he runs away]

SpongeBob: Hey, that guy was crying.

Plankton: Those were tears of joy! He was happy that you were assertive!

SpongeBob: Yeah!

Plankton: You see how wonderful life can be, [threateningly] when you're maniacal?

SpongeBob: Uhh, I thought it was called assertive.

Plankton: Whatever.

SpongeBob: Well, if it got me this ice cream, then I like it! [throws strawberry ice cream on his tongue, hitting Plankton who is still on it. Later, he is using a metal detector, and it beeps] I found something! [Scooter approaches SpongeBob]

Scooter: Uhh, excuse me, my metal detector broke. Can I use yours? [SpongeBob hands the equipment to him]

SpongeBob: Sure!

Plankton: SpongeBob, this is your next lesson. Be aggressive! Tell that guy to take a hike!

SpongeBob: [misunderstands] Do you want to take a hike with me?

Scooter: Yeah.

Plankton: [angry] Now, look what you've done! Tell that guy to go fall in a ditch!

SpongeBob: [sees a ditch] Hey, go check in that ditch! [points to the ditch beside them. Scooter jumps down in the ditch and finds a treasure chest]

Scooter: Wow, buried treasure! Thanks!

SpongeBob: Did you see that, Plankton? That guy found some buried treasure!

Plankton: [frustrated] SpongeBob, you'll never get it right! Tell that guy you know karate and you'll tie him in a knot if you don't get your metal detector back!

SpongeBob: Hey! I'm gonna tie your...shoe if you don't give that back!

Scooter: But I'm wearing sandals!

SpongeBob: Okay, never mind! [Plankton jumps off of SpongeBob] It's alright, Plankton, he's wearing sandals. What's the matter?

Plankton: [putting things into a suitcase] Oh, nothing, SpongeBob. [puts on a black hat] I was just beginning to think that this was a waste of time.

SpongeBob: No it's not!

Plankton: Forget it! I guess you don't have what it takes to be a stand-up guy.

SpongeBob: But what about airline food?

Plankton: What?

SpongeBob: Airline food. My gosh, what is up with that stuff? Thank you, good night! [rimshot] See, I can be a stand-up guy. See? [Plankton throws his hat down]

Plankton: [frustrated] SpongeBob, you'll never get what you want! You'll always let people step all over you! You're just like stairs!

SpongeBob: Wait, Plankton, give me another chance!

Plankton: Okay, but this is your last chance! [points to people trying to get a tan] Look at all those beach hogs soaking up your sun rays. Do you have what it takes to get a tan?

SpongeBob: Just watch me! [runs over and waves a blanket up and down and builds up sand to make the beach-goers run away] Man, this thing is sandy!

Fred: My leg! [after everyone runs off, SpongeBob is laying on his back with a funnel acting as a sunlamp]

Plankton: Yes, my plan is beginning to work! They're leaving the beach! [SpongeBob now has a tan and looks brown] SpongeBob, that was wonderful! Is that an all-over tan?

SpongeBob: Well, not all of me. [SpongeBob and Plankton spot the Goo Lagoon hot dog stand]

Octopus Vendor: Hot dogs! Hot dogs!

Plankton: Look at that huge line at the hot dog stand. Assert yourself to the front!

SpongeBob: I'll do better than that! [he stretches his tongue to eat everybody's hotdogs at the snack bar]

Plankton: SpongeBob, that was genius! Look at all those kite fliers blocking your view!

SpongeBob: What?

Plankton: Breaking your wind! [SpongeBob uses one of his teeth to boomerang it into cutting the strings off the kites. SpongeBob laughs maniacally, until a volley ball bumps into his heel. He picks it up]

Larry: Hey, SpongeBob, throw us the ball. [SpongeBob pops the volleyball and not throwing the volleyball and trumpets like an elephant. Everybody leaves the beach in the fall]

SpongeBob: Plankton, did you see that? I was a regular alpha-male! [sees Plankton missing] Plankton? [Plankton is driving a crane] Plankton, all my asserting is driving everybody away!

Plankton: Exactly.

SpongeBob: You didn't tell me everyone would leave.

Plankton: Oops. [he presses a button in his crane, and the "Mega Bucket" sign comes out from the ground]

SpongeBob: [gasps] Mega Bucket?! You used me... for land development! [voice cracks] That wasn't nice!

Plankton: Haven't you figured it out, SpongeBob? Nice guys finish last. Only aggressive people conquer the world! [laughs evilly]

SpongeBob: Well... [gets an idea] What about aggressively nice people?

Plankton: Huh? What are you doing? [SpongeBob brings out the hot dogs in the hot dog stand, he ate earlier and puts them back where they belong. Then he puts the kites back where they were] Wait, SpongeBob! Stop! [a girl is crying because she has sand on her ice cream. SpongeBob takes it and wipes the sand off with his eyelashes] Butterfly kisses. Can't take it. It's too cute! It's... it's disgusting! [Scooter is crying at his broken surfboard]

SpongeBob: What happened? [points to surfboard]

Scooter: I hit a reef with my new board, dude!

SpongeBob: No problem! [shapeshifts into a surfboard]

Scooter: Whoa! [grabs the surfboard] Killer!

Plankton: SpongeBob, stop! Before it's too late! Your kindness is bringing everybody back! [everyone comes back] Get back! Wait! [everyone, on their way back to the beach breaks through the construction barriers, trample and squish Plankton underfoot] Ouch! Ow! Ow! No! Ooh~

[Scooter is surfing with SpongeBob]

Scooter: Cowabunga! [Scooter and SpongeBob arrive back to shore] Thanks, dude! That was awesome! [just then, Plankton begins straining and weeping]

SpongeBob: Gee, Plankton, I'm sorry about the Chum Bucket.

Plankton: Forget about that. I just can't take so much kindness in one sitting! [bunches up into a ball] Need hatred. [crawls away]

SpongeBob: Volleyball, anyone? [everyone uses SpongeBob as the ball] Serve up! [laughs] Ouch! [laughs] Ouch! [laughs] Ouch!