Voice: SB-129. [episode starts]
French Narrator: Ah, it is Sunday morning in Bikini
Bottom, and it is about time for Squidward to practice his clarinet. So get your ear plugs ready.
Squidward: [kisses his clarinet] I think I'll treat
Bikini Bottom to some real music. [He gets ready to play his clarinet, and then
SpongeBob's alarm clock goes off, sending Squidward's clarinet into his throat]
Yow! [Struggles to dislodge the clarinet out of his throat.]
SpongeBob: Good morning, Squidward! Wanna go jellyfishing? [Squidward tries to yell, but his clarinet
sounds every time he tries to talk] Great! We'll be right over! [Squidward
pulls the clarinet out of his throat. Door knocks are heard]
Squidward: I wonder who that could be. [Squidward
opens the door]
SpongeBob: Ready to go?
Squidward: No, I'm not "ready to go!" [slams
the door]
Patrick: He doesn't wanna
play with us.
SpongeBob: No, Patrick, he's just not ready.
[Squidward tries to play his clarinet, but he hears another knock at the door]
Ready now?
Squidward: No! [slams door. Then he goes back to try
to play clarinet is interrupted once again by yet
another knock at door. Squidward gets angry.]
SpongeBob: How about now?
Squidward: No! [slams the door. The knock on the door
is heard again] Huh? [opens door]
SpongeBob: Now?
Squidward: No! [slams the door. Another knock on the
door and he opens it]
SpongeBob: Now?
Squidward: No! [slams door, then opens it]
SpongeBob: How about now?
Squidward: No! [slams door, then opens it]
SpongeBob: Now?
Squidward: No! [slams door, then opens it]
SpongeBob: Now?
Squidward: No! [slams door, then opens it]
SpongeBob: Now?
Squidward: No! [slams door, then opens it]
SpongeBob: Now?
Squidward: No! [slams door, then opens it] No!
[SpongeBob and Patrick are gone and they approach
Squidward from behind. SpongeBob taps his shoulder] What?!
SpongeBob: Ready yet?
Squidward: No, I'm not ready! I'll never be ready!
Don't you get it?!
SpongeBob: Sure we do.
Squidward: What? [stammers] D'oh...!
[shuts the door and leaves his house, then realizes he's outside. He runs back
to his door and knocks. SpongeBob opens it]
SpongeBob: Ready? [Squidward slaps his forehead, and
then pushes SpongeBob and Patrick out of his house]
Squidward: Out! Sheesh! Shouldn't you be at work
today, SpongeBob?!
SpongeBob: I'd love to be at work today! But it's
Sunday; the Krusty Krab is closed. [Squidward gets an
idea]
Squidward: Hold on a second. I'll be right out.
[closes the door. Squidward tiptoes out the other way of his house to the Krusty Krab, and enters] Hello...? [silence] Ahh, alone at
last. [tries to play his clarinet, but SpongeBob and Patrick are heard outside]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! Squidward?
[Squidward runs into the kitchen as SpongeBob and Patrick come in the Krusty Krab and search for Squidward] Squidward! [Squidward
runs into the freezer] Squidward? Oh, Squidward! [Squidward peeks out as
SpongeBob and Patrick look for him] Squidward!
SpongeBob: Well, he's not here. I'll bet that eager-beaver's already down at Jellyfish Fields!
Squidward: A-ha! They're finally gone! [tries to open
the freezer, but it's locked from the inside!] What the...? [tries to open it
multiple times] Locked?! Oh no! Oh... well, someone will realize I'm gone and
come looking for me. I'll be out of here in no time.
French Narrator: 2,000 years later...
[the scene shows Squidward still inside the freezer,
frozen; the hinges are rusty, and they fall off; the door falls with Squidward
frozen behind it; a robot descendant of SpongeBob flies past and then back to
Squidward]
SpongeTron:
Holy Krabby Patties! A frozen cephalopod! [SpongeTron grabs a chrome hammer; from the hammer comes a
red laser, which melts the ice and hits Squidward's buttocks; Squidward
screams]
Squidward: [trancelike] I'll be out of here in no
time.
SpongeTron:
Greetings, primitive.
Squidward: Sp...SpongeBob? Is
that you?
SpongeTron:
SpongeBob? No! [robot voice] I am SpongeTron. [normal
voice] Welcome to the future!
Squidward: What?
SpongeTron:
Welcome to the future!
Squidward: Uh, the future... [notices everything's
chrome] Huh?! O-okay, uh, what's going on here? Why is everything... chrome?
SpongeTron:
Everything is chrome in the future!
Squidward: Wha...? [stammers and runs to look outside
a window] Oh, my... [notices the chrome environment. The screen pans around the
chrome environment.] Impossible! He's lying!
[A flower pops up from underground, then a truck
comes, Incidental 119 gets out of the truck, runs up to the flower, sprays it
with chrome spray paint, then runs back in the truck and drives away. Squidward
looks at the screen.]
Squidward: [Looks away from the window] He's right!
SpongeTron:
Of course I'm right, Squidward! Just ask my clones: SpongeTrons X, Y, and Z. [Squidward flinches as a trio of SpongeTron clones have suddenly appeared next to them]
Squidward: Are the other letters of the alphabet
involved here?
SpongeTron:
Sure! All 486 of them! [A calendar on the wall says March 6, 4017 A.D. This
means Squidward entered the freezer on March 6, 2017. Squidward does a few
sit-ups while he talks as if he is trying to wake up]
Squidward: [Lays down and starts doing sit-ups]
Future! Future! Future! Future! [SpongeTron drops a
brick on Squidward's head] Thanks. Now listen! All of you! I don't belong here.
This is all a horrible mistake! Please, we've got to do something!
SpongeTrons
X, Y, and Z: [pull out jellyfishing nets] Jellyfishing! [a two-headed Patrick appears out of nowhere]
PatTron:
Did somebody say, "jellyfishing"?
SpongeTron:
Hi, PatTron!
Squidward: J-just listen to me! I'm not supposed to be
here! I've gotta get home to my own time period! I've gotta go!
SpongeTron:
Well, why didn't you just ask? The time machine is down the hall, to the left.
[Squidward runs to the door, laughs and enters, but
the sound of a can-opener being used is heard. Squidward steps out and is torn
into pieces, now appearing like a spring-shaped patch of skin] Oops! Oh, yeah,
that one's the can opener... but try the one on the right. [Squidward tries the
door on the right and enters a pink and green room that has a slot-looking
machine that says "past" and "future" with a key near the
slot]
Squidward: Well, I wouldn't've chosen this interior...
[notices time-travel handle] Oh, what's this? Well, if SpongeBob exists in the
future, I'd better go to the past! [Squidward turns the key and puts the lever
on "past." Siren goes off as time machine
disappears from where it used to be in the Krusty
Krab. SpongeTron waves at Squidward. The door and the
wall fly through a hyperspace-like warp, then the time machine appears in a
primitive Bikini Bottom.]
Squidward: [looks out and sees an Ammonite swim by. Whales calls can be heard] Wow, primitive. Has sort of an
old-world charm. [a snake-like creature swims by really close
to Squidward's face] Whoa! I guess this is before manners were invented! Well,
at least there's no sign of SpongeBrat. Maybe now I
can finally be alone with my clarinet. [hears a noise, turns around, but some
shadow quickly hides. He hears another noise and checks again, but a different
shadow hides] Huh? [one of the shadow figures swing from tree to tree] Huh? What?! [a shadow figure hides
behind a tree] Huh!? [the other shadow figure hides behind a ledge. Squidward
keeps walking and then notices a Prehistoric Sponge on the ground] SpongeBob?
[Primate Sponge screams] Stay back! [Primate Sponge touches Squidward's arm and
then sniffs his finger from what he touched. Tries to give some to Squidward]
Uh, no thanks. [Squidward feels someone breathing on him and he turns and
notices a Prehistoric Starfish breathing on him. Prehistoric Starfish smiles
and reveals nasty, rotten teeth] Uh, hi there. Well, I better be going now.
[Prehistoric Sponge grabs Squidward's tentacle] Yes, that's my arm.
[Prehistoric Sponge puts Squidward's arm on his head and Prehistoric Starfish
licks his hand] Oh, that's sweet. [Prehistoric Starfish gets scared; he smashes
on the ground and gets the shivers] What, is it time for your flea bath now? [a
jellyfish swims by and Prehistoric Starfish ducks for protection] Oh, look,
it's just a little jellyfish. [Primate Sponge and Prehistoric Starfish run
around screaming] Well, I'm going away now. [Squidward walks away] Ah, here's a
nice, shady spot, away from those fools!
[Squidward plays his clarinet and each time he tries
to play, Primate Sponge or Prehistoric Starfish holler, who are each giving a
turn at holding the jellyfish]
Squidward: What are you simpletons doing?! You're
supposed to catch these things, not torture yourself with them! [Primate Sponge
and Prehistoric Starfish are confused] Give me those loincloths! [Primate
Sponge and Prehistoric Starfish tear off a piece of their loincloth] I can't
believe it. [mumbles to self. Crafts the loincloth jellyfishing
nets. Shows them the nets.] This oughta make things
go a little smoother! [gives Primate Sponge and Prehistoric Starfish their
nets. They put the nets on their lips. Squidward facepalms and grabs the nets
back] Give me those things! You're supposed to catch them, like this!
[Squidward catches the jellyfish in one of the loincloth nets] It's called jellyfishing. [Primate SpongeBob and Prehistoric Starfish
grab the nets and chase the jellyfish] Ah, finally. [sits on the ground and
plays his clarinet. Primate Sponge and Prehistoric Starfish hear it, go berserk
and chase Squidward. Squidward runs into the time machine as Primate Sponge and
Prehistoric Starfish try to get in by climbing on top of it; Squidward screams]
Get me outta here! [frantically jams lever up and
down and accidentally snaps it off] Uh-oh. [the word FUTURE spins like a slot
machine, and stops on 2 lemons and a "BAR"]
Time Machine: Loser!
[Primate Sponge and Prehistoric Starfish are banging
on the time machine trying to get to Squidward until it disappears into thin-air. The time machine shakes from the inside, with
Squidward scared. The camera zooms in, with a "paint" effect, then
the camera is on Squidward's face, and a color change effect goes off as
Squidward mouths the line "What's going on?" without audible
dialogue. The screen flashes white, and the time machine goes through all sorts
of dimensions, with one with a computer-like area, then the time machine folds
like paper, and it vanishes with a zap sound.]
[Squidward appears in a blank, white space. He walks around, and hears a strange voice. He then notices some
colored tiles and lifts one up and it floats and vanishes]
Squidward: He's not here. No more SpongeBob. No more!
I may finally have found a place where I can be all... [Squidward becomes tiny]
...alone! [a bunch of "alone" sayings appear with a different voice
as each comes up]
Voices: Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone!
Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! [Continuous
"Alone" chanting is heard, as the screen continuously gets smaller
and smaller]
Squidward: [is now suddenly closer to the camera and
speaks to it] I gotta get outta
of here! [Squidward tries to run, but he runs off and on the scene. He stops
and tries to catch his breath. A strange voice is heard again, he holds his
head, sweats a little, and runs again off and on the scene. He stops running
after three tries to get out, yet another strange voice is heard when he stops]
Where's the time machine?! Where's anything?! Where,
where, where, where?! [jumps up and down angrily and busts a hole through the
ground into the time machine. The handle is still broken off. Squidward bangs
on the broken controls and sobs] I wanna go home! I wanna go home! I wanna go home! I
wanna go home! I miss Bikini Bottom! I miss my Easter
Island head! I even miss SpongeBob! [right when Squidward says
"SpongeBob," the time machine disappears and reappears in present
time Bikini Bottom where SpongeBob and Patrick are still waiting for Squidward
in front of his house] SpongeBob! Patrick!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Hi, Squidward.
Squidward: Oh, I'm back! I can't believe this. I-I-I
was in space, a-and I went to the future, and-and then I went to the past,
and-and then-then I was nowhere, but now I'm back, and-and... you don't know how happy I am to see you guys.
SpongeBob: Does this mean you wanna
go...
SpongeBob and Patrick: Jellyfishing?
Squidward: No! D'oh! Who's
the barnacle head who invented that game anyway?
SpongeBob and Patrick: You are, Squidward! [Squidward
turns his head to face the camera again. SpongeBob and Patrick laugh as the
scene cuts to Bikini Atoll on the surface]
Squidward: I'm going back. [The episode ends.]