SpongeBob: [Gary is on his exercise wheel] Exercise time is over, Gary. [takes Gary off his wheel] We don't want you getting too thin. [holds up a green, squishy ball] Here, boy. Fetch! [throws it and Gary goes after it but at a slow pace. SpongeBob checks his watch and sits on a chair and takes out the newspaper to read. Morning arrives, the rooster crows and SpongeBob is asleep in the chair. Gary crawls up to SpongeBob and spits out the ball]

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Huh? [sees the ball on the ground] Good job, Gary! [He jumps to Gary] I love you, Gary! [He starts scratching Gary and Gary purrs] Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary! [Gary climbs up on SpongeBob, purring and tickling him] Ha, ha! Down, boy! Ha ha! [Patrick comes through the door]

Patrick: SpongeBob! Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready?

SpongeBob: For what?

Patrick: The annual jellyfish convention in Ukulele Bottom this weekend! [shows his jellyfishing net off until he breaks something and blushes with embarrassment] So, you ready or what?

SpongeBob: That was this weekend? [He looks up at Gary who's still crawling all over him trying to tickle him] I can't go; I don't have anyone to take care of Gary!

[There's a knock on the door. Squidward is seen outside. The door opens, but the first thing Squidward sees is Gary on SpongeBob's head. He looks down at SpongeBob and reveals a pair of underwear.]

Squidward: Would you please stop leaving your undergarments on my front lawn?

SpongeBob: Squidward, could you watch Gary this weekend?

Squidward: What's a Gary?

SpongeBob: Not a Gary. Gary. He's my pet snail. [shows Gary to Squidward] Say hello! [Gary hisses at Squidward and drools]

Squidward: Yuck. You actually care for that thing?

SpongeBob: I love Gary!

Squidward: Well, I don't. Get somebody else. [walks off]

SpongeBob: I guess we can't go away this weekend after all, Patrick. [Squidward stops]

Squidward: Go away? [walks in reverse back to SpongeBob's Pineapple] You mean, if I watch Gary, you guys will be gone all weekend?

SpongeBob: Actually, a three day weekend.

Squidward: As in, not here for three days?

SpongeBob: Yeah, but you've already said you can't do it, we understand.

Patrick: Don't feel bad, Squidward. The three of us can still have our own jellyfish convention at your house!

Squidward: I changed my mind. You guys deserve a weekend away.

SpongeBob: You'll do it? Great! Let me show you a little bit about snail care. You need to take Gary for a walk twice a day. [SpongeBob explains the daily routine with Gary, but Squidward is busy thinking of how much fun he'll have with SpongeBob & Patrick away]

Squidward: Friday, Saturday and Sunday - a three-day weekend.

SpongeBob: Let me show you how to feed him. [opens a cabinet with six barrels of Gary's food, 3 snail food cans on the top row marked morning and 3 snail food cans marked night on the bottom row] I have all the cans marked, a can in the morning and a can at night.

Squidward: Sure it's enough? [bus drives up to the pineapple with other jellyfishers inside]

Group: [chanting]: Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing!

Patrick: The bus is here! The bus is here! [crashes through the wall and through the bus leaving his starfish shape through each hole] C'mon, SpongeBob!

Group/with Patrick : [all chanting]: Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing!

Squidward: [pushing SpongeBob out of the house] Well, time to go. Don't want to be late. Have fun, bye bye.

SpongeBob: Now, you won't forget my instructions, will you?

Squidward: I have the memory of an elephant, I'll take good care of Fred.

SpongeBob: Gary.

Squidward: Right, yeah, right. [SpongeBob joins in the chanting, along with Patrick and the group, as the bus drives off]: Jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing...! So long, losers! [laughs] They're gone! [runs inside his Easter Island Head. Gary peeks his eyes out the window]

Gary: Meow.

Squidward: [comes out with shorts on and his nose with sunscreen on it and a chair. Unfolds the chair and sits on it] This is going to be the best three days of my life. [sighs and lays back with a tanning mirror in front of him] I'm going to do all the things I can't normally do because of SpongeBob. [The time card "3 Days Later" appears, and now Squidward is badly sunburned, The bus comes back as the group is chanting "jellyfishing"] Well, thus ends the greatest weekend of my life. No SpongeBob, no Patrick, nothing but me, me, me. [Squidward sees Gary through the window. Gary groans. Squidward's sunburn drains] [screams] The snail! I forgot the snail! [runs inside the pineapple where Gary is old and withered on the floor. Squidward frantically takes him to the kitchen] I've gotta do something. [takes all the cans of food and puts it in his bowl] Okay, okay, okay. Here we go. Here we go. Right here. [Squidward frantically throws the food at Gary trying to get him to eat it] [Gary lip syncing what Squidward's saying]: Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat! You gotta finish this food!

SpongeBob: See you later, Patrick.

Squidward: Come on, eat! Eat! Eat! [SpongeBob gets his house key out. Squidward has to decide about the food] Ohh...

SpongeBob: [sticks the key in the hole and opens the door] Gary! I'm home!

Squidward: [greets SpongeBob with a head full of Gary's food that he ate] Hi, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Squidward! What are you doing here? [Squidward swallows all the food]

Squidward: Oh, just checking up on old Gary for you.

SpongeBob: What a great friend you are, Squidward.

Squidward: So, uhh, well, see you. Goodbye.

SpongeBob: Thanks, Squidward. [Gary crawls to SpongeBob, still old and wrinkly] I can always count on you. [Gary moans and SpongeBob screams] Gary! Gary, what's happened to you? What's wrong? Squidward, something's wrong with Gary! Squidward! [Squidward frowns ‘cause he can't leave. Later, the doctors snail-mobile is in front of the pineapple]

Incidental 116: Yes, yes, it's just as I thought.

SpongeBob: What?

Incidental 116: This is definitely a snail.

SpongeBob: I knew it! Oh, Squid, did you hear that?

Incidental 116: Therefore, a shot of snail plasma must be carefully administered. Here you go. [hands the syringe to SpongeBob]

SpongeBob: Aren't you going to do it?

Incidental 116: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm too squeamish. [Incidental 116 leaves. Squidward runs after him]

Squidward: Uhh, hey, doc, let me help you with your bag there.

SpongeBob: Squid, wait! I can't give Gary his plasma. I'm squeamish too.

Squidward: Aww, SpongeBob, I don't want to do... [Gary moans and coughs badly]

SpongeBob: Gary!

Squidward: Okay, okay! I'll do it. [takes the shot]

SpongeBob: Now, don't hurt him, Squidward. Okay, steady. [Squidward tries to give Gary the shot but SpongeBob pulls him away] Wait, that's too hard! Okay, okay, okay, try it again. [Squidward tries again, but SpongeBob pulls Gary away once again] Wait! [pulls Gary away again] Wait! [Squidward keeps trying but gets the same result every time] Wait, wait!

Squidward: [stammers] Will you hold him still?

SpongeBob: Wait, wait, wait! Wait, wait, wait!

Squidward: [stammers] Will you hold him still?! [accidentally injects the snail plasma shot in SpongeBob's nose]

SpongeBob: Ouch! Uh, Squidward, you've injected me with snail plasma.

Squidward: Well, you made me do it! [removes the shot]

SpongeBob: What's going to happen to me?

Squidward: Oh, nothing, it's just a little snail plasma.

SpongeBob: I don't know, I feel kind of funny!

Squidward: I'm telling you, it's all in your head!

[Gary crawls to his water bowl to get a drink. After drinking the water, he gargles, clears his throat, and meows normally again.]

Squidward: He just needed water?

SpongeBob: Oh, Gary, you're better! [hugs him]

Squidward: Oh, how touching. I'm going to go home and throw up. Good night.

SpongeBob: Squidward, wait, the snail plasma!

Squidward: Trust me, SpongeBob, nothing's gonna happen to you. You're fine. [closes door]

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Don't worry, Gary, Squidward says I'll be fine. He knows everything. So, you hungry?

Gary: [jumps up] Meow! [SpongeBob pours food into Gary's bowl, but decides to see what it tastes like. He likes it so he eats all of it. Then walks to Gary with the empty bowl]

SpongeBob: Here ya go. Eat up, Gary.

Gary: Meow?

SpongeBob: Sorry, Gary, I couldn't control myself. [burps] Meow. Why did I just do that? Am I cracking up?

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: No, no, Squidward's right. I'm fine. I- I worry too much. It's all in my head. I feel tip-top! [SpongeBob begins to walk out of the kitchen. His feet make loud pounding noises as they hit the floor, and he begins to go slower and slower. Soon Gary is going faster than he is.]

SpongeBob: Gary, you're getting a [voice slows, lowers] lot faster! [SpongeBob sluggishly walks into the bathroom, and Gary follows him. He looks in the mirror, and his voice echoes as he speaks.]

SpongeBob: Look at me. Never better. [He yelps as dramatic music begins to play in the background. His head begins to throb, and his pores begin to grow and shrink, before returning to normal.] I'm okay! Squidward said I'm fine! [What he doesn't realize is that the worst is yet to come. His eyes bug out of his head, causing him to yell. The camera rotates around so we can get a side view of SpongeBob. He blinks, and his eyes briefly pop back into his head and return to normal. But this relief only lasts for about half a second. Then, his eyes bulge out even farther than before, and it looks very unnatural. They bulge for a while, and then they begin to transform, taking the shape and form of snail's eyes, with stalks. The sight causes SpongeBob's jaw to drop, and he screams louder. SpongeBob stares in the bathroom mirror at his brand-new eyestalks, which now have skin and eyelids around them. He turns to Gary.]

SpongeBob: Gary... I'm fine! [But SpongeBob is not fine. Gary watches in horror as his owner falls onto his hands and knees, straining in pain.]

SpongeBob: [in so much pain that he is barely comprehensible] Yyyyyy-yyyooooou'll see. [grunts and strains as his hand and arm slowly retract into his sleeve, which then pops off and bounces away] That's okay, I'm a lefty anyway! [Despite his left hand falling off, causing an error] [Then, SpongeBob's feet and legs retract into his pants.]

SpongeBob: [laughs nervously] Ha! Now I don't have to buy those new shoes! [his body shortens up like a snail and he screams] I take it back, Gary. Something is wrong with meeeee [he loses the ability to talk, tilts his eyes, and completes his snail transformation] ow!

Squidward: [in his bed with his clarinet] I hope I never see another snail again. Good night, Clary. [a knock is heard on the door and the doorbell rings] Who could that be? As if I didn't already know. [Camera goes to Squidward’s front door. Squidward turns on the light, walks to the door, and opens it] SpongeBob, I already told you. You're gonna be just-- [attempts to say “fine,” but hesitates and shouts almost hysterically. SpongeBob is now a fully breaded snail.]

SpongeBob: Meow!

Squidward: [screams]

SpongeBob: Meow! Meow. [Squidward touches SpongeBob's left eye and it curls up]

Squidward: [screams and runs back inside shutting the door]

Squidward: SpongeBob? Oh, Neptune, what have I done? [picks up the snail plasma syringe] It's all your fault! [throws it away] Okay, okay, okay, okay, get it together, Squidward.

SpongeBob: Meow! [Squidward screams in horror and puts boards and nails on his door. Turns around and SpongeBob is at his window] Meow. Meow. [Squidward screams in horror] Meow! [Squidward puts more boards on his window, but SpongeBob squeezes through the boards holes] Meow. Meow. [Squidward screams and runs into his closet]

Squidward: None of this would be happening if I'd only fed that snail!

[SpongeBob squeezes in from under the door, and meows. Squidward screams and runs through his door, SpongeBob meows, Squidward runs up and down his ceiling, screaming and mumbling, while SpongeBob keeps meowing at him. Outside, his house is bouncing from side to side until it flips on its side completely. Everything is broken and torn inside. Squidward sits up, but is injected with the snail plasma through his nose]

Squidward: Uh-oh!

[Cut to a scene showing the full moon. Now SpongeBob, Squidward, and Gary are on a fence singing "Blow the Man Down"]

Gary: Meow [C], meow [D], meow [C], meow [A], meow [F].

SpongeBob: Meow [A], meow [C], meow [D], meow [C], meow [A].

Squidward: Meow [C], meow [D], meow [B♭], meow [A], meow [B♭], meow [G].

Gary: Meow [B♭], meow [C], meow [B♭], meow [G], meow [E].

SpongeBob: Meow [G], meow [B♭], meow [C], meow [B♭], meow [G].

Squidward: Meow [B♭], meow [C], meow [A], meow [G], meow [A], meow [F].

Gary: [Off-screen] Meow [C], meow [D], meow [C], meow [A], meow [F].

Patrick: [opens his rock, wearing pajamas with an angry look on his face] Will you clam up?! [throws a boot]

SpongeBob: [Off-screen at the same time] Meow [A], meow [C], meow [D], meow [C], meow [A].

Squidward: Meow [C], me- [D] Ommf! [boot knocks him off the fence and he lands with a crash]

Gary: Meow [B♭], meow [C], meow [B♭], meow [G], meow [E].

SpongeBob: Meow [G], meow [B♭], meow [C], meow [B♭], meow [G].

Squidward: Meow [D], meow [D], meow [D], meow [D], meow [C], meow [A], meow [G], meow [A], meow [F].