[The episode begins with SpongeBob running toward Sandy's treedome doorstep.]

SpongeBob: Hey, Sandy. Hey, Sandy. Hey, Sandy!

[SpongeBob knocks her door. While waiting for a response from the door, he notices a spaceship comes up from underneath the ground at the right side of the treedome.]

SpongeBob: Wow!

[The rocket finally rises up to ground level. Sandy peeks her head out of a spaceship window.]

Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob, how do you like it?

SpongeBob: What is it?

Sandy: It's a rocket ship, duh! I'll meet you downstairs and show you around. [rides an elevator on the bottom floor and meets SpongeBob downstairs]

SpongeBob: Wow, what are you gonna do with it?

Sandy: [pointing to a poster of the moon] I'm goin' to the moon, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: The moon! Can I go?

Sandy: No way, SpongeBob. Especially after your little mishap with my whirlybird. [looks at a graveyard of dead animals, which the camera follows] Besides, there's not enough room for you.

SpongeBob: But I don't take up that much space! [squishes himself into a little square] See? [downsizes himself to fit into a little drawer] I can fit in here. [closes the drawer] Mmm, cozy.

Sandy: I need that drawer.

SpongeBob: Well, how about... [jumps into a test tube] This? [jumps into another test tube] Or this? [jumps into another test tube] Or this? [spins in a flushing motion]

Sandy: SpongeBob, this isn't for fun. [points to her clipboard with math equations on it] See this? This is science. I don't have time for games and I don't have time for stowaways.

SpongeBob: [behind a set of bars] Fine. [in a deep voice] Put me in the brig, [squeezes himself in the air vent] I don't mind!

Sandy: That's the air vent, SpongeBob. [pushes a button to turn the air vent on that blows SpongeBob out of it] I need that, too.

SpongeBob: Oh, please, can I go? Can I? Can I? Huh? Please?

Sandy: All right. Y'all can ride in the cargo hold if you just-

SpongeBob: [running around the ship] Yeah! Goin' to the moon! Moon ride, moon ride, moon ride!

Sandy: [grabs SpongeBob] But this time, just don't touch anything, okay?

[Bubble transitions to Sandy pumping a gun and SpongeBob comes to watch her.]

SpongeBob: Wow, look at that pop gun. Are we gonna go hunting aliens on the moon?

Sandy: Aww, hush, silly. [shoots her gun and 3 gray nets cover a couple items] This is for harvesting moon rocks.

SpongeBob: Well, when you're done playing with rocks, you could use that for some serious alien hunting.

Sandy: Aliens? Are you nuts? I've been to the moon, there are no aliens.

SpongeBob: Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. How could you be so naïve? There's evidence all around us. How do you explain Atlantis, cowlicks, 99¢ stores? [walks around and forms a circle around him and Sandy with his shoes] And how about those mysterious circles that pop up in kelp fields overnight? [sees the circle] Ah! There's one now!

Sandy: SpongeBob, you don't know the first thing about outer space. Now go home and get some shut eye. Be here tomorrow at the crack of dawn and leave your crazy alien notions behind.

[Scene cuts to SpongeBob's house at night. SpongeBob is trying to sleep. He checks the clock every few seconds, and tries to go back to sleep again.]

SpongeBob: [becoming fed up with waiting, shaking his clock] Oh, hurry up! [grabs two clothes pins] These oughta do the trick. [puts them on his eyelids]

Patrick: [Sitting in the window] Hi, SpongeBob! [clothes pins shoot off his eyes]

SpongeBob: What is it, Patrick? Can't you see I'm sleeping here?

Patrick: Well, I heard you're going on that moon trip tomorrow, so I just wanted to bring you something.

SpongeBob: A present?

Patrick: No. Uh, SpongeBob, is Sandy's rocket alien proof?

SpongeBob: There are no aliens, Patrick. Just ask Sandy.

Patrick: Well, I guess you won't be needing this alien repellent for your trip! [pulls out a spray can]

SpongeBob: Alien repellent? Let me see that. [looks at the can] "New Alien-Out Window Protectant. Does not stop burglars." Well, I guess you're right, Patrick. We'd better go spray those windows!

[Bubble transitions to SpongeBob and Patrick observing the rocket from a distance]

Patrick: Look how big it is, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: It's pretty impressive, all right.

Patrick: Come on! [both head for the rocket entrance]

SpongeBob: We're just here to spray the windows, Patrick!

Patrick: Wow. How do you think we get inside?

SpongeBob: We don't! We're just spraying the- [Patrick pulls a blinking green lever marked "open," door opens on SpongeBob] -windows.

Patrick: I opened it, SpongeBob! Come on! [both walk inside] Holy sea cow, SpongeBob. This must be the control room.

SpongeBob: Yeah, just don't touch anything. [Patrick suddenly runs off]

[Patrick sits at a computer and starts playing with the controls]

Patrick: Look, I'm winning!

SpongeBob: Patrick, cut that out! Patrick, come on! We can't hang around in here. This is Sandy's big rocket, not some kind of fun... [SpongeBob turns around and looks at himself as a thin reflection in the mirror] ...house?

Patrick: Winner! Yeah! High score! Whoo hoo!

SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, what game was that, anyway?

Patrick: I don't know! [notices a lever above his head] But let's see what this does!

SpongeBob: Patrick, I don't think we should... [Patrick pulls a lever and the two launch off the seat out of the rocket]

Patrick: I like rockets. [both fall back into the rocket] More! More! [approaches another machine]

SpongeBob: No more! [Patrick presses a button and both vibrate a lot then stop] Okay, one more. [vibrating again] Okay, that's enough. Let's go.

Patrick: Oh wait, I think this one starts it! [SpongeBob stops Patrick from pushing a button]

SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing? I'm the space traveler here. And I happen to know that that particular button is right over here. [presses the start button and the ship starts up]

Patrick: You've started the rocket!

Sandy: [wakes up to the alarm horns blaring and notices the smoke] Aww, SpongeBob...

[SpongeBob and Patrick hold onto each other while falling down a long shaft as the ship is taking off.]

Patrick: Hang on, buddy! [while screaming, SpongeBob and Patrick are still falling down to the bottom of the ship. The ship flies upward out of the ocean past Bikini Atoll arriving into space, and both of them start to float] Hey, we stopped falling!

SpongeBob: Look! [points at the dark galaxy] We're in space now! Whee! [both float around in the ship]

Patrick: [frantically worried] Hey! Whoa! Somebody get me down, or up, or something!

[SpongeBob laughs as the ship orbits around the moon.]

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, watch this! [squirts toothpaste into some peanut butter]

SpongeBob: Hey, you got your toothpaste in my peanut butter! [he and Patrick laugh]

[The ship finishes circling the moon and prepares to return down to the surface. SpongeBob lifts a heavy barbell on one finger.]

SpongeBob: Patrick, I can do this!

[The ship lands back into the sea and the barbell smashes into the ground and flattens SpongeBob's hand.]

Patrick: [scowls] Hey, who turned the heavy back on?

SpongeBob: We must be landing.

Patrick: All right!

[SpongeBob and Patrick run off to exit the ship. Meanwhile, Sandy uses her jetpack to fly up to the moon.]

Sandy: Sometimes that SpongeBob is as dumb as a sack of peanuts.

[The ship is now in Bikini Bottom, landed nearby Squidward's house. While Sandy on jetpack searches for SpongeBob and Patrick on the moon, these two get out of the ship]

Patrick: Wow, it sure looks a lot like home. [Patrick sees Gary outside licking himself] Hey, look, it's Gary! Come here, Gary. Gary!

SpongeBob: Wait, don't go near it, Patrick! Can't you see this is all a trick? The aliens are projecting our memories onto the environment! They're trying to confuse us, Patrick.

Patrick: So you mean to say they’ve taken what we thought we think and make us think we thought our thoughts we’ve been thinking our thoughts we think we thought?! I think?

SpongeBob: Okay, but I'm not gonna to fall for it! [SpongeBob captures Gary with a gray net-like substance and Gary meows worriedly] Yeah!

Patrick: You got him, SpongeBob! Won't Sandy be proud.

SpongeBob: Sandy. I forgot all about her. Oh, she's gonna hate us for stealing her rocket. But won't she feel silly when I bring her back a real live alien? Aw, she'll love me! [grabs Gary] Come on, Patrick, the more, the merrier! [tosses Gary into the ship. Ship's number increases from 00 to 01; game show ding from "The Price Is Right"]

Patrick: Alien hunting! Alien hunting!

SpongeBob: Shhh, Patrick, don't let them know we're onto them. "Uh, yeah, alien hunting. I saw that on TV, too. Gee, Patrick, let's drop in on our old pal Squidward and see what he's up to!" [whispering to Patrick] Make sure your gun is pumped.

[SpongeBob and Patrick go in and see Squidward sleeping and muttering]

SpongeBob: Look at it, Patrick, it's disgusting.

[Squidward moves his arms and legs around then puts them back down. He mutters incomprehensibly and says, "Grandma." SpongeBob and Patrick shake nervously and pose as if ready to fire. Afterwards, they creep toward him.]

SpongeBob: It's even uglier up close. Let's begin the analysis. [takes the covers off. Squidward is wearing a pink floral top]

Patrick: Wait! What's that? [SpongeBob takes a red bag out from underneath Squidward. It appears to be a hot water bottle] I think I'm gonna be sick.

SpongeBob: Patrick, do you know what this thing is?

Patrick: Stinky.

SpongeBob: No. It's an egg sack. Let's look at the embryo.

[Patrick puts flashlight under the so-called "egg sack" and SpongeBob's hands are under it.]

SpongeBob and Patrick: Twins.

[Squidward rolls over in his sleep and his right tentacle sticks on Patrick's helmet. Patrick looks up and sees the details of Squidward's right tentacle.]

Patrick: Pardon my French, but get this thing off me!

[SpongeBob takes off Squidward's right tentacle, but now Squidward's tentacle legs attach SpongeBob, which he quickly takes off. SpongeBob and Patrick try to get his tentacles away from them but they wake him up instead.]

Squidward: Patrick and SpongeBob? Get out of my bedroom! And give me back my tentacles. [pulls back his tentacles onto his bed]

Patrick: It's awake!

SpongeBob: [grabs his net gun] Let's capture the little phony!

Squidward: [screams] Get away from me!

[SpongeBob and Patrick try to capture Squidward but he runs away, in which the pillow is captured instead. SpongeBob jumps to Squidward's bed, does an "oogie boogie," Patrick does a Tarzan yell and chases Squidward. Outside, Mr. Krabs walks up with his pet worm and notices Squidward's house shaking. SpongeBob and Patrick come out with Squidward captured.]

Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, there, lads! Up a bit late to be playing pirate, aren't ye? [laughs]

[SpongeBob and Patrick point their guns at his head; Mr. Krabs holds his claws up.]

Mr. Krabs: Wait! Don't shoot! Okay, okay, shoot me, but don't take me money!

SpongeBob: We don't want your money... moon man! [both capture Mr. Krabs and toss him and Squidward into the ship] Look at them squirming around in there.

[Mr. Krabs and Squidward mutter disgruntingly]

Patrick: Eww, gross.

SpongeBob: Well, there's plenty more where those came from.

[Transitions to Mrs. Puff's Boating School]

SpongeBob: [at Patrick] Shhh...

Mrs. Puff: [grading some of her students' paper] SpongeBob, what are you doing here so late? [captured] Whatever this is... [inflates herself and has a deep voice] ...it's going on your permanent record!

[Flats the Flounder is in the bathroom where he opens the mirror revealing SpongeBob inside, shocking Flats; SpongeBob captures him. Incidental 33 is walking while holding an umbrella where she gets captured. Larry opens a mailbox and gets captured. Later, virtually every Bikini Bottomite is shown to be captured. Many of the Bikini Bottomites are complaining. Patrick struggles in putting them inside the rocket.]

Patrick: [trying to push the captured Bikini Bottomites inside the rocket] SpongeBob, I think we might have to make a second trip.

SpongeBob: There's no time for that! Just push harder.

[Off-screen, Sandy starts coming in on her jetpack floating down]

Sandy: SpongeBob, what are y'all doing? [SpongeBob looks at her; Sandy is shown landing from her jetpack] I can't turn my back on you for two seconds without you causing a whole mess of trouble. Why look at ya, bagging up all your friends and neighbors just like they was a fresh crop of hickory smoked sausages. You done turned my little science experiment into a disaster. You two oughta should be ashamed of- [SpongeBob and Patrick capture her; the two are then seen carrying her walking to the ship]

SpongeBob: Nice try, Sandy.

Patrick: Or should I say Ms. Alien Pants. [laughs]

Sandy: Aliens? Is that what this is about? [as Patrick giggles, SpongeBob and Patrick throw her into the ship] This isn't the moon! We're still in Bikini Bot-- [door is slammed shut]

SpongeBob: It just goes to show you: you can't trust anyone.

[Both SpongeBob and Patrick stare at each other, run off, and pump their guns.]

SpongeBob: So, you were an alien all the time and you didn't even tell me!

Patrick: I didn't even know!

SpongeBob: Yeah? Well, I got you now.

Patrick: Oh, but it's not you that's got me, it's... [Patrick catches himself with the gray netting as it turns out he had his gun pointed the wrong way] ...me that's got me.

[Scene cuts to the ship starting up]

SpongeBob: Boy, I can't wait to see the look on Sandy's face!

[The ship enters the surface but runs out of gas and stops on the moon.]

SpongeBob: Sandy, I'm back! [peeks out the window] Wow, Bikini Bottom sure looks different. [sees the Earth and realizes his mistake] Uh-oh...

Everyone else: SpongeBob, we "aliens" would like a word with you!

[The scene fades to black, ending the episode.]