[The episode starts with a view of the houses of
Patrick, Squidward, and SpongeBob. The screen zooms in closer, and fades to a
view of SpongeBob's entrance.]
SpongeBob: [walks outside his house, and breathes in
the fresh air] Ahh, what a wonderful day. The sun is out, the water is
shimmering, scallops are chirping. So peaceful. [grabs wood, a hammer, and some
nails, and starts to noisily build a stand. Squidward peeks his head out the
window.]
Squidward: Can we lower the volume, please? I can't
work with all that racket going on!
SpongeBob: Oh, sure thing, Squidward.
Squidward: Yes. Mmm. Right. Mmm.
SpongeBob: Okay. [taps on a nail lightly, and he looks
up at Squidward's window. He does it again, and continues to, making sure he
doesn't make too much noise. Meanwhile, in Squidward's house, Squidward has his
clarinet in his hand.]
Squidward: And now... for some soothing sounds from
Squidward's clarinet. Thank you, thank you. [starts to play while SpongeBob
looks up and sees that Squidward is playing, so he decides to finish his stand
quickly. Squidward looks out the window again.]
Squidward: I thought I... Huh?
SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward. Wanna blow some bubbles?
Only 25 cents.
Squidward: Oh, right. Like I would spend a moment of
my time blowing bubbles.
SpongeBob: Uh huh.
Squidward: Oh, puh-lease. I mean, who in the world
would pay to blow bubbles? [Patrick comes out of his house, stuck to the
underside of the rock]
Patrick: Good morning. [a TV, lamp, and chair are seen
below Patrick's rock. Patrick falls off his rock, onto his furniture, and
begins screaming]
Squidward: Oh, boy. [Patrick walks over to SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Good morning to you, sir. Would you care to
blow a bubble?
Patrick: Hmm, how much is it?
SpongeBob: Only a quarter.
Patrick: Sounds reasonable. [whispering] Uh, I'm going
to need to borrow a quarter.
SpongeBob: Sure thing, Patrick. [pulls out a quarter
and he gives it to Patrick]
Patrick: Ah, one quarter. [hands the quarter back to
SpongeBob, whom bites it to see if it's real]
SpongeBob: Thank you. [cuts back to Squidward]
Squidward: Hmm, business is booming. [laughs] How did
I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors? Uh-huh. [continues playing. Cut
back to SpongeBob and Patrick. SpongeBob dips the wand in the bubble soap]
SpongeBob: One bubble wand,
dipped and ready to go. [Patrick grabs the wand from SpongeBob, inhales deeply
and begins to blow, but a bubble doesn't come out. He pants
and blows again. After a while, SpongeBob puts up a "Lessons" sign.
Patrick then loses his breath] Could I interest you in some lessons? Only 25
cents.
Patrick: Uh, very well, then. Hey, Sponge, can I
borrow another quarter? [SpongeBob hands Patrick a quarter] Thanks. [winks and
hands the quarter back to SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, it's all in the technique.
[starts doing his infamous routine] First go like this, spin around. Stop!
Double take three times: one, two, three. Then, pelvic thrust! Whoooo! Whooooooo! Stop on your
right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town.
Bring-it-around-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that,
and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then... [blows bubbles shaped like
ducks]
Patrick: Oooh. [SpongeBob
pops out of nowhere and blows a box. Patrick giggles and SpongeBob blows a
caterpillar] Ah! [The caterpillar then pops one-by-one, with descending sounds.
Patrick continues to giggle. SpongeBob blows a tugboat, and it floats off,
pops, and makes a foghorn noise. Cuts to inside of Squidward's house]
Squidward: Huh? [shakes his clarinet. Cut back to
outside with SpongeBob and Patrick]
SpongeBob: And now... with two hands! [inhales deeply
and blows out an elephant. Circus music, in particular part of the piece
"Entry of the Gladiators," starts playing.]
Patrick: [laughs] It's a giraffe! [Patrick continues
laughing as the elephant floats over into Squidward's house. SpongeBob then
worried as the bubble pops and tons of smaller bubbles come out of both windows
of the house while an elephant trumpets. Squidward opens the door with a sour
look on his face. SpongeBob and Patrick hide behind the stand. SpongeBob places
a "Closed" sign on it. Squidward looks over the stand]
SpongeBob: Excuse me, sir, but we are clo-
Squidward: Don't give me any of that! How can you two
possibly make all this noise just blowing bubbles?!
SpongeBob: We're not just blowing bubbles. We're
making bubble art. Watch carefully. [does his infamous routine again] First go
like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two, three. Then
pelvic thrust! Whoooo! Whooooooo!
Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around
town. Bring-it-around-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that,
and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then... [blows a butterfly, which
flies over to Squidward, lands on his head, and pops]
Squidward: That's not art. That's just annoying.
Blowing bubbles, that's the lamest idea I have ever heard. [SpongeBob and
Patrick, now depressed, head to SpongeBob's house] You should be ashamed of
yourselves. [SpongeBob closes the door as Squidward laughs to himself] Bubbles.
[continues laughing] Art. [mumbles, and picks up the bubble wand, sniffs it,
and inhales to blow. Then, SpongeBob pops up out of nowhere]
SpongeBob: That'll be 25 cents, sir.
Squidward: Ah, whoa, what? [SpongeBob blinks] Oh...
who-who would pay 25 cents to blow bubbles?
SpongeBob: We also offer lessons for beginners. [puts
the "Lessons" sign up]
Squidward: Beginners? What could be more
simple than blowing a stupid bubble? [pulls a quarter out] Here's your
25 cents! [SpongeBob bites it to see if it's real and it bends] Watch and
learn. [inhales and blows, but nothing happens] Uhh...
wait, wait, wait. [he inhales and blows again, but nothing happens again] One
more time. Here. Wait. [inhales and blows again, and a small bubble comes out
and instantly falls to the ground and bursts, making a fart
sound. Looks over at SpongeBob and Patrick. They gulp,
and then start whistling. Squidward places another quarter on the stand] Uhh... Just a mere warm-up. [dips the wand in the bubble
container, inhales deeply and blows hard. The bubble falls to the ground again,
making another fart sound, gets another quarter out
and puts it on the stand]
SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, remember the technique.
[Squidward keeps trying to blow bubbles while SpongeBob and Patrick are trying
to show him the technique] Squidward, technique! You do this, and this, step
back....
Patrick: Hey! Squidward, no, technique, Squidward!
SpongeBob: Spin around like thi—
Like this... Technique, over here, one... two.... yeah, three...
Patrick: One, two— The— The pelvic woo!
SpongeBob: Look, we're doing the technique! And don't
for... Don't forget the "Woooooo!"
Squidward?
Patrick: Listen to Sponge!
SpongeBob: Technique! Technique! Technique!
SpongeBob and Patrick: [while standing on one foot]
Technique! Technique! Technique! Technique! Tech- [Squidward looks at them]
SpongeBob: [weakly] You're not doing the technique.
Patrick: Technique.
Squidward: Technique? Technique!? Technique,
technique, technique, technique, technique! [starts to do the infamous routine,
while imitating SpongeBob] First I do this, spin around. Stop. Double take
three times. And here we go, pelvic thrust. Wehooooo!
Wehoohoo! Oh, stop on your right foot, don't forget
it. Then, bring it around town. And a little of this, a little of that, a
little of this, this, this, this, that, that, that, that. And that, that, that
that that that! And then... [screams very loudly into the wand, blowing a
gargantuan, unshaped bubble]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow! [Squidward is then lifted
off the ground. The bubble pops off the wand and Squidward falls back on the
ground]
SpongeBob: All right, Squid. That was so good.
Patrick: Squid is number one.
Squidward: I really did it, didn't I? Hey, you guys
didn't blow anything like that.
SpongeBob: No.
Squidward: Now that's a bubble.
SpongeBob: You said it, Squidward. See, it is all in
the technique.
Patrick: Yeah, technique.
Squidward: Technique? Hah. SpongeBob, you don't think
I created that [kisses his tentacle] beautiful work of art with your help?
[starts laughing] Come on, it's in my genes.
SpongeBob and Patrick: Squid's got genes! Squid's got
genes! [Squidward walks back to his house]
Squidward: Thank you, thank you, thank you. [starts to
play his clarinet. SpongeBob and Patrick chant Squidward's name. At one point,
they belly flop each other and Patrick falls on the ground.] I rock. [continues
to play his clarinet. As SpongeBob and Patrick continue to chant, Squidward's
bubble flies over them, covers Squidward's house, and pulls it out of the
ground and up towards the top of the ocean. SpongeBob notices and stops
Patrick]
SpongeBob: [concerned] Squidward! [Patrick now notices]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! Squidward!
Squidward! [Squidward stops playing his clarinet]
Squidward: Hello, my friends. You are looking at a...
[sees how high he is from the sky]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward!
Squidward: ...genius. [the bubble explodes in the air
and then the ground violently rumbles and shakes. SpongeBob and Patrick look in
awe]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow! [the ground stops shaking. The two slowly walk back to their homes. They then speed up and run inside their houses. Squidward's house floats back to the surface. Squidward starts playing his clarinet weakly as the screen cuts to black, ending the episode]